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Saturday, September 15, 2007

Mommy Blogs

I really like reading mommy blogs. I enjoy seeing what other kids Ander's age are doing, and I like knowing I'm facing similiar situations as others and seeing how they are facing them.

But I am noticing a real lack of moms like me in Bloghood. I'm a strong disciplinarian, a working mom, and I focus on practical considerations (like how to get Ander to clean his room) more than other moms who are out there blogging.

I think I sort of understand the trend. Strong disciplinarians, for the most part, don't spend a lot of time thinking about discipline. They expect obedience, and that is that. No need to blog about it. But I have a Master's degree in education, and for what it's worth, I think about discipline techniques all the time. I want Ander to learn how to act, and not just to obey. But it leaves me pretty alone in the blogosphere, because others don't stop and think about these things all day long. Or if they do, they don't write about it. They are focused on getting through the day without a tantrum (understandably), and I am focused on the choices Ander will make when he is sixteen (mostly because of my training and education).

Working moms, obviously, have less time to blog.

And most moms, nah - most people, are more into the emotional connection of parenting than I am. They breastfeed, find relaxation, and blog about the wonderful connection with their babies. I think, how can I feed the baby more efficiently so I can do it less. :/ They play with their babies and find it peaceful and blog about it. I think, is an hour enough playtime. Let's work on our ABC's. Or play the color game. How can I possibly give him all the information he needs to know before he turns 18? It's not that parenting isn't emotional for me. It's the most emotional thing I've ever done. It's that, for me, blogging is not usually about the emotion. It's about finding ways to deal with the practicalities of parenting and finding out how others deal.

I've been reading lots of mom blogs, and while the titles hint at such wonderful content (ie. Diary of a Playgroup Dropout, which is a great blog, but doesn't help me with practicalities), most of the content is about homeschooling (something I would only do in a very specific situation, such as if I was working for the State Department and traveling to foreign countries constantly), or cloth diapering (something I would likely only do if I had a full-time nanny and maid, and then only while nanny was in charge, like during the work day {blushing at own laziness} - totally because I'm lazy, since the environment impact really appeals to me), or baby-wearing (something I minimize for practicalities sake and to encourage independence, which is definitely not a popular way to parent right now).

Where's the "This Is How We Get Ready for Daycare in Ten Minutes or Less" blog? Or the "Preparing Healthy Snacks for Playdates"? Or the "List of Exercise With Your Baby DVDs"? I guess I should write those, huh? :) I'd love to hear that from others, and that just isn't what they talk about. And when I do talk about such things on my blgo, I always get a ton of sympathetic, "oh, Kristy, are you struggling/okay" comments, which are sweet, but miss the point. I'm THINKING about these things. Even if they aren't cool to think about.

I'm really thinking about writing a book. About the practicalities of parenting. If I just spent an hour or two a day writing...I have so much to say. And you might not be able to tell from my blog writing, which is like a stream of conscienceness, but I actually can write a grammatically correct sentence. It's sort of a requirement for being a lawyer.



Miss-buggy said...

I read your blogs. When ever I get the chance. Believe it or not I think we are more similar in our parenting then what we would think. I don't do the baby wearing. Heck he can go in his stroller. I breast fed but am glad that formula is available as another option. (never used it though, never had to but I don't knock those that do or did) I believe in discipline. The discipline has to happen at that exact moment. You really can't do it later. I do time outs. I say no. And there are a lot of people out there that don't believe in that.
Color game? That is playing. Everything is playing for a child. Sure it may be learning to you but it is a fun learning game to the child. I do blog about some things that occur in my childs life or things that go on, heck wrote about the daycaring. I am also about to do another blog about discipline actually. Keep writing. I enjoy your blog. I don't not read yours, I just never have the time. LOL. I am sure you know what that is like.

Mathochist said...

You write about playing vs learning like they are opposed, but children learn through playing.

"How can I possibly give him all the information he needs to know before he turns 18?"

I used to worry about stuff like this too (A LOT!!!), until I realized that children are little sponges and are going to learn with or without my help. So I just try to make stuff available that encourages learning. And we play with it all the time. And I play WITH them, telling them things like "This is a trapezoid" or "L-I-B-R-A-R-Y spells 'library'". And they do learn it.

I also had to give the worry over to God. I can spend the rest of my life worrying about not being an adequate mom, but it isn't going to do any of us much good. I adopted the habit of praying every evening - in front of them and out loud, as part of their bedtime prayers - that we will be good, patient, loving parents to them and teach them everything God wants them to know. I figure this does double time, as it shows them I rely on God, and it gets the prayer through at the same time. ;)

I have lots more to say, have been thinking of things myself lately along the same lines (but maybe in opposite directions!)... but I think it warrants my own post. I hope I can get to it before next weekend.

If it makes you feel any better, I hadn't noticed any bad grammar. (Not that I employ good grammar at all when I write, so I probably WOULDN'T be the one to notice!)

Mamaebeth said...

oh kristy, we need to have coffee more often.
I am constantly thinking about discipline. I am constantly thinking about how JD will turn out as an adult. phillip and i were just talking the other day about parenting is a "long game". it is very difficult to see how what you do today will turn out when your child is an adult. i think about it, phillip and i talk about it, but there are so many variables in effective discpline, blogging about it would be painful for me.

i read bento blogs for snack ideas.
if you find some good movement dvd's let me know. i have some picked out on amazon but i don't know if they are any good.
the text book on movement i got from the library is quite good too.

i'll read your book when you are done writing it.