The Hidden Secret to an Effective Work Planner

I work to live. 

Oh, I actually enjoy being at the office. You can't deny that all those office supplies make you giddy, too, or you wouldn't be reading this. But none of us go to work solely for the coffee or the office supplies, even if we like our jobs.

We go to work to afford trips to Europe, cute shoes, and nights out at fancy restaurants. Or, if you are more like me, to afford electricity, water, and a roof of some sort. Maybe, if you are lucky and determined, you'll make enough to put a new handbag or planner on your birthday list.

Work is an important part of life and takes up a lot of time, so keeping work pleasant and NOT overwhelming is an important goal.

I'm going to suggest one important tweak to your work planner (that also works for home) to change how you think about productivity planning...

How to Use a Planner to Survive the Chaos of a Natural Disaster

If you aren't familiar with this blog, I mostly write about day planners. In fact, Giftie Etcetera has a pretty active Facebook group where we discuss getting and keeping our lives in order. 

When my hometown in Louisiana flooded in a massive, 3-day rainstorm, the group kept talking about planners and order in general. 

That is, they did until one member said that her house flooded and she was stuck. Her planner wasn't good enough for the to-do list that grows so long and massive after your home is completely ruined. 

The Parts of a Simplified Daily Plan

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In the world of productivity, whether in the home or in the office, there is a term called magic minimums.

The First 20 Minutes of Your Day

How well do you use the first 20 minutes of your day?

3 Brilliant Ways to Remember Your Stuff When You Leave the House

On any given day, I'm bringing a lot of stuff out of the house with me.

My kids and their Kindles, my work bag, lunches, snacks, water bottles, choir robes (that, frankly, we forget about every other Sunday), a change of clothes, reusable grocery bags, coffee (because "they" expect me to remember my coffee PRE-COFFEE!), an extra phone charger, a pot luck dish...the list is endless!

(What? You haven't forgotten your kids before? Not even once, in a sleep-deprived stupor?)

I'm a Work at Home Mom, Who Rarely Works at Home

I'm sitting at my small desk in the living room, laptop booted up, legal assignment in hand. Or I have my planner open on the kitchen table, complete with an outline of my next blog post.

Three minutes later, I'm surfing the tv channels, tossing some laundry in the wash, or defrosting dinner.

The bed in the next room looks so warm and cozy.

Maybe I'll make a snack...

Time's up!

My children arrive home from school. No work is done. Working at home doesn't always work.

In the world of laptops and smart phones, work-at-home jobs can be done anywhere. I will work from home if I must (after doing chores and with all entertainment turned off).

But I would rather work somewhere else. Mostly, I frequent the local library, since it is quiet and free. There's also a great little coffee shop near my kids' school.

For those of us who don't work in an office, self-discipline is so important.

I know what motivates me to work - a quiet, public place. If possible, I met a work at home friend to keep me on task. It's like my own little office.

What motivates you?

A timer? A deadline? A schedule?

Whatever it is, figure it out.

It will change your work life for the better.

Etcetera.

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How Productive People Actually Get Stuff Done

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You know those (ahem, STRANGE) people who actually get stuff done on time?

Don't Waste Your Time Planning

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Once someone decides to dedicate to using a planner, it is so easy to fall into a trap of planning instead of doing. 

The Trick to Keeping Up With Paperwork

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I bet most of you have a stack of papers somewhere that you need to deal with, right?

So do I.

It doesn't matter if you work in the office or are a stay-at-home parent. There is always paperwork to be done.

Paperwork is an endless, joyless task, but hopefully I can make it a little easier for you.

How to Carry Paperwork in Your Planner

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Paperwork.

It's a reality that is unavoidable. I deal with most of it by processing paperwork immediately: toss, file, process, or hold.

*Toss - Trash gets tossed.

*File - Filing goes in my filing container.

*Process - Invitations get an immediate RSVP, a task to buy and wrap a gift, and a note on my calendar of the time and place. Then, they are tossed.

*Hold - A coupon gets the deadline noted in my planner and the coupon goes in the front pocket of my planner. A homework assignment gets written in my planner and the instructions go in the Hold box until assignment is complete.

But, sometimes, there is something that needs processing, but I just cannot deal with it right that second. Or my hold box is not appropriate because I'll be doing the task outside of my house.

If I crammed all of that stuff into my Franklin Covey compact planner, it would be bursting at the seams.

How to Manage Your Mondays (And Avoid the Sunday Blues in 10 Easy Steps)

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Got a case of the Mondays?

I suffer from this debilitating malady most weeks. There is no cure.

(As Sheldon would say, that's a lie. You could win the lottery, quit your job, and move to a nice island somewhere with lots of people attending to your every need. That would cure you!)

Since I am unlikely to win the lottery, I had to find an effective treatment instead. 

Being miserable every Sunday - dreading Monday's inevitable arrival - was not working for me.

I found a solution in the form of a Monday Morning Plan.

Change One Thing to Transform Your Entire Day

Wake up.

Make coffee.

Stand there and stare into space, with bed head and a sense of overwhelming dread...

Been there?

I've figured out how to change my mornings to change my day. Let me share my trick with you.

I considered what would change my day.

I'm a work-at-home mom, so for me, the challenge is getting household chores done while putting aside enough time for my paid work. Getting a couple of household chores out of the way early would make a huge difference.

However, I had to be careful not to stick just to household/child-related stuff. Sometimes, I am on a deadline and my day has to be dedicated to work for a full eight hours.

Occasionally, I have to substitute teach (a third paid gig).

The kids might have school or lessons or activities, or they might be home all day, requiring attention.

A morning routine that was inflexible would not work. As important as keeping up with housework is for staying calm and stress-free, paid work and childcare are obviously higher priorities.

The solution? 

I made a list of three things each morning on my Daily Docket that had to be added to my morning routine FOR THE NEXT DAY ONLY. 

(On the image below, you see it as the Must Do List.)

Choose your three things each day, write them down, and make them happen.

Note that these three things go BEYOND my everyday routine, which includes basics like brushing my teeth and having coffee.

How I decided what to put on my three item list:

Today is a pure stay-at-home mom day, except for grocery shopping and blogging. That made laundry a priority, since I'll actually be home to fold and put away. Laundry is only time-sensitive in the sense that I need to get it done before my husband gets home from work and I go grocery shopping.

I also had a couple of time-sensitive tasks. I needed to get a letter in the mail before noon. Finally, I needed to list my prescription refills to get done at the pharmacy inside the grocery store today.

So, for me, one upkeep task and two time-sensitive tasks gave me a jump start on my day. It's now noon, as I write this, and laundry is done and put away! Letter is mailed and prescriptions that need to be refilled are listed in my planner.

To make your decision about your three things, consider these five questions: 

1. Is there something time-sensitive that I can start on immediately?

2. Is there something on a deadline today?

3. Is there something that I've been dreading that I can get out of the way?

4. Is there something I need to start doing every morning (like putting supper out to defrost) to make life go more smoothly?

5. What actions would make my life easier today?

Join the conversation for a chance to discuss your three things, and how you make that decision, on Facebook by clicking here.

Remember to share in social media. Sharing is caring. 

Etcetera.

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The Proper Order of Cleaning Up

I hear rumors of people who love housework. They patter around the house, singing along with the oldies station on the radio (which, let's face it, feature songs from when I was in college), and smile while mopping the floor.

Oh, wait...those are commercials!

There is an easier way to clean up that saves so much time and effort. And I'm going to share it with you. (Hint: It does not involve tennis shoes or the kitchen sink!)

TIP: Set a timer and do as many steps as you can in that time.

I set mine for fifteen minutes a day (and move to other rooms if the kitchen/living room are clean or if other rooms need cleaning more). For your first time, you might want to put aside an hour. But maintenance shouldn't take more than 15 minutes in a single room, unless you fail to erase the evidence as you go!

There are five easy-to-remember steps: clear, spray, dry, wet, and mop.

1. CLEAR: Clear off flat surfaces.

I won't lie. You will HATE this part. But put on your Fit Bit and earn those steps! You won't regret it.

When I clear off, I don't just dump things into a basket. I actually take each item and put it away in its home. My hair ties go into a hanging organizer in the bathroom. My keys go in my purse, hanging for a hook on my desk. My kids' toys go in their seats at the kitchen table - for removal to their bedrooms before they get to eat again - tucked under the table so I don't have to look at it. Dirty dishes go in the dishwasher. Folded clothes goes to the closet.

PLANNER TIP: Have something with no home? Write a task to "find home" in your planner and put the something in your hold box.

Probably the most time consuming part of cleaning any room is clearing off surfaces. But if you do it daily (or almost daily) and as you go through your day, it's also the most rewarding part.

TIP: If you have hot spots, decide if that should be the new home of the item. Keys can be corralled in a $1 decorative bowl bought at any thrift store. Thrift store bags and baskets are great for holding library books or mail for your husband.

Clearing will have a greater impact than anything else you do, so if you only get to this step today, that is completely fine.

2. SPRAY: Spray and soak raised surfaces.

For the longest time, I would spray, wipe, respray, rewipe, spray, wait during soaking, and finally scrub off a spot.

What a waste of time and money!

Spray any dirty spots and walk away.

3. DRY: Dust/sweep.

Next do the dry stuff, while the wet stuff is soaking. Dust from top to bottom, then sweep the floor.

4. WET: Wipe surfaces, in this order: a) germ catchers, b) high impact, and c) everything else.

Germ catchers are places like handles and knobs. Cleaning them first saves you time in the form of not getting sick!

High impact areas should be cleaned next. Your house will simply look better. Wipe down that counter and that stove top.

Finally, time permitting, do everything else. Clean inside of the microwave and that area on the door that gets footprints on it. But if you don't, no worries. You'll probably be the only one who even notices.

5. MOP: Mop.

I always mop last. (Let's be frank. If I mop, I always mop last.) After all, my food is not eaten off the floor. Only my shoes touch the floor! And if I wait long enough, my 9 year old will beg to mop it for electronics time.

This system will take a while to learn, but logging the time in my planner helped me to be realistic about how long it takes to clean my house.

This sample Weekly Schedule (created in OneNote 2013 as a time log) is available in blank form at www.calendarpedia.com (not linked here as I didn't ask them first and don't want to presume).

Notice that each room takes less and less time to clean as long as you keep it up! I clean the kitchen (at least through step 4) most days of the week.

This printable also is a great way to schedule out your week.

Want to chat about cleaning, organizing, and time management?

Click on Etcetera below to join our discussion on Facebook!

Etcetera.

Linked at: Wise Woman Wednesday

The Five Essential Parts of an Amazing Vacation Plan

Planning summer vacation does not have to be overwhelming. Today, I'm giving you a peek at my vacation plan for this summer's road trip to Colorado.

Just grab your planner, a notebook, or a program like OneNote, and set up the sections that make your vacation plan flawless.

Most people just jot some dates on the calendar and make a quick packing list. For a smooth trip, though, I recommend more planning than just a packing list. Check out this picture for a peek at my plan in a OneNote notebook.

There are five essential part of a successful vacation plan (numbered in the above picture) that will make your trip stress-free.

1. Agenda

I started the agenda on Google Calendar because I could share it with my husband. We tweaked it until it worked.

Once it did, I backed it up by printing it to OneNote (because I use it as a reference when I create the other parts of my vacation plan) and used some Franklin Covey Compact "Summer Plans" sheets (in the very first picture on this post) to put a written agenda in my planner. Of course, you don't need special pages to do this planning. They just made it easier.

Some of the things that I included on my agenda:

*dates and times of any scheduled check-ins, check-outs, or activities (left hand column);

*names, addresses, and contact information of locales or people that we have plans with during the vacation;

*notes about time changes - like when we go from Central Time to Mountain Time (upper right corner);

*notes about day-specific tasks - for example, calling a friend when we get into town or bringing a coffee pot for the lodge part of the trip (right column); and

*travel times (under time changes).

2. Map

Again, for reference only, I put a map in OneNote of our route. In the car, I will actually use a GPS and an old-school atlas (both for the kids to follow our progress on and for times when there is no satellite for the GPS).

Having a map is an often skipped step, but a map of something has been essential for my last three vacations, so I broke down and added this section. For Disney World, we used a map of the parks to plan food and Fast Pass locations. On our cruise, a map of the ship helped us decide where to book, how long it would take to get the kids from Camp Carnival, and how to navigate from the dining room to the nearest frosty frozen drink area. With a road trip this time, there is no skipping the map.

3. To Do List

My Loyal Readers know that I usually like tasks right there on my weekly spread. But a list of things that need to be done before I leave for vacation is essential to getting ready to leave in time.

TIP: Don't forget to check the memory card and batteries in the camera before you leave town.

4. Packing Lists

I make a different list for me, for the kids, and for putting stuff in the car.

I divide my list by bag - electronics tote, snack tote, suitcase, overnight bag, etc.

Note that multiple packing lists are important. If you just have one long list, it gets overwhelming.

5. Clothes Schedule

Clothes schedules are something else that I've adopted over the last couple of years. No one really thinks about a clothes calendar, but it helps when packing and it helps when on the trip.

For example, when packing, I can note days when we will see other people, so I need to wear makeup and a bit of jewelry. On hiking day, I'll pack good shoes and old clothes.

Then, while on the trip, I just look at the date and dress appropriately. This might seem silly, but this tool makes the trip so much easier.

Bonus Section

Since OneNote is such a good place to collect research, as I find websites with information about sites or restaurants, I print them to OneNote, right there in my vacation planner!

I know some of these sections are unconventional, but time and time again, they've proven themselves essential parts of the vacation plan.

Happy travels!

Etcetera.

Linked at:

Happy Home Life

How to Handle a Change of Plans

My husband and I are working on a vacation itinerary. He created one on an Excel spreadsheet (because that's his thing) and gave it to me to review/veto/give input. I put it in Google Calendar, because I need to see the hours spread out on a schedule.

We talked about spending two nights in Denver instead of some other smaller town since the rest of the trip is with family in a smaller town or in the mountains. Also, Denver puts us one hour closer to our final destination, and, on the day we drive to our final destination, we have an early appointment.

He agreed that Denver sounded best (with no debate or anything - it just made sense), so I made the change on Google Calendar and emailed him.

He updated the itinerary. Rather, he SAID he did. He did not change the two days to Denver, because he "couldn't figure out why I did that." 

Seriously, y'all, even though he is COMPLETELY on board with Denver, he keeps FORGETTING the discussion. He is not senile. He has ALWAYS been like this.

Once he sees a path or plan, he cannot deviate from the plan at all.

For example, he takes the same route to work everyday. He knows all the other routes, but if there is an accident or he needs to run an errand, he NEVER deviates from the route. He sits in stopped traffic or he runs the errand and returns to the route, even though it's faster to just drive from the errand to home!

Or he will plan dinner of meatloaf and roasted veggies. If he finds out that I found ribeyes on sale, he still wants to eat the meatloaf and veggies. He cannot deviate from the plan. Show up at a restaurant with a 45 minute wait? He can't leave the restaurant.

That's weird, right?

I think a real part of his problem is a lack of a day planner.

Paper planners force you to train your brain to remember details and make decisions.

TIP: Write things down, even if it seems like you will remember.

When I decided on Denver with him, I wrote it down. That act sealed the idea of Denver in my mind. Later, when I saw the note, it triggered my memory of the discussion.

He only passively listened. My arguments made sense, so without any angst or memory-creating tension, he agreed.

When I entered Denver, I also made a note to check hotel locations and leisure activities.

He didn't take that step.

Once again, the memory was strengthened in my brain, and in writing, and not in his.

I also am used to deciding between several options. My planner only has so much space. I have to be aware of what I am planning to do, but willing to change the plans if things don't fit. I practice that skill.

He doesn't.

TIP: Don't be afraid to change course if something isn't working.

Finally, I make decisions quickly. I have to, in order to put them in my planner. If circumstances change, I change my mind.

He takes his time deciding stuff, but by the time he is done deciding, he is pretty stuck to that point of view.

TIP: Go ahead and make a decision. You aren't stuck with it forever!

All my planning makes it easier for me to handle a change of plans.

Now, if I could just get my husband on board.

Etcetera.

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Chic on a Shoestring

How to Allow Chaos to Rule: A Giftie Comedy of Errors

Mistake #1: Not replacing a light bulb.

A week ago, our kitchen light bulb went out. It flickered for a long time first, but it's one of those long light bulbs that is difficult to change. Since my husband is working crazy overtime hours, I just switched it off and used sunlight from the windows to work at my desk.

This morning, I woke to a vicious rain storm, complete with full coverage clouds. My house was like a dungeon. It was clear to me that to get anything accomplished, I'd need to go to a coffee shop or the library.

Mistake #2: Taking a selfie.

The rain and a PTO meeting meant a solid opportunity to wear my new blue shoes. They feel like ballet slippers, but have a short wedge heel. And they are water-resistant.

I took a selfie.

I never take a selfie. (In fact, since I have an old Android phone, I'm not sure the mirror shot is technically a selfie.)

I spent just long enough admiring myself in the mirror to forget to check my prep list for the day.

(The first anonymous person to comment that there is nothing to admire is going down! D.O.W.N. To the rest you, thanks. I do, indeed, look pretty cute for a woman in her 40s.)

Mistake #3: Not checking planner.

Without my prep checklist, I forgot the library books and CDs that are due today. The CDs carry hefty fines. The bag was sitting right there, in my launch pad. (Okay, okay...NEAR my launchpad. Happy?)

Mistake #4: Not following my own rules.

I have a Rule of Five for my handbags. I did not follow it, and forgot my wallet.

Mistake #5: Being too nice to the neighborhood cat.

I am very allergic to cats. But I am also kind to animals. So during bad weather, we allow the fat, black neighborhood cat to sit in our carport. We don't feed him (though he keeps trying to feed us mice and birds).

It was pouring and there was lightning, and the darn cat would not move away from my car. I can't touch her or go near her, so I sat on the horn for a long time.

Y'all, my neighbors are going to egg my house later. Oops.

Mistake #6: Driving in the rain.

I'm the girl who once took out my great aunt's air conditioner unit with my car. My very elderly great aunt (may she rest in peace) was sitting in her house in front of the unit when it happened.

Edited to clarify: My great aunt is resting in peace because her time finally ran out and not because of my driving. She even asked me to read at her funeral, so see...no hard feelings!

Driving in the rain takes a skill set that I do not possess. Where are the headlights? The windshield wipers? The brakes? Can I make it through that water on the roadway?

Mistake #7: Losing my umbrellas.

I have literally no idea where I put them. They are not on my planner list of "Locations" like my coats and swim gear happen to be.

No problem. I stopped at the store and bought a new one.

Um, no wallet, remember? I remembered at the checkout.

Mistake #8: Thinking Baton Rouge traffic doesn't exist.

It does, FYI.

Mistake #9: Not making coffee to go.

After all, who makes coffee to go when one is working at a coffee shop?

Oh, right. One who leaves her house around 7:30 a.m. and manages not to arrive to the coffee shop until 10:30 a.m.

I know you like round numbers, but I only made 9 mistakes so far! You know what that means, don't you? Mistake #10 is coming soon.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Etcetera.

Linked at:

Overcoming the Overwhelm

What is most overwhelming in your life right now? What seems out of control?

I'm not exercising. I need to exercise or I not only gain weight, but I get moody. No one in my life has used the B word yet, but it's coming. I'm just moody enough to scare them away from saying it OUT LOUD.

Also, I cannot keep my island in my kitchen clear of mess. I don't have a laundry room. My island is where I fold laundry, chop veggies, and bring in groceries. It needs to be clean or I end up with all sorts of messes in other places. like piles of unfolded laundry and spoils of entire pots of food on my floor near the stove. If the island is clear and wiped down, I keep my entire kitchen clean, with no effort. Laundry gets done and put away. It's like magic. And right now, it's cluttered again.

Maybe it's your health. Maybe it's your kids being home for the summer. Maybe it's your marriage.

But something is overwhelming you right now. Something needs fixing.

Something needs a plan.

So open up your planner.

Oh, sure, your planner is for scheduling appointments and remembering to mail your taxes in by April 15th.

But it's also a place to deal with the overwhelming stuff.

Just make a simple plan to deal with it.

I'm scheduling a yoga workout for tomorrow. Also, I'm going to add cleaning the island off to my daily tasks (a system already in place that is working - an app called Daily Tasks by Microsoft - but doesn't include the island right now).

Whatever is overwhelming for you right now, take a minute and write a plan. It doesn't need to be a vast, overwhelming plan. It can be a plan to do the first step. But get it written down and do it.

You will feel better.

And maybe you won't deserve to be called the B word, either.

Etcetera.

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The Secret to Being Organized on the Go

I wake up between 6:15 a.m. and 7:30 a.m. After that, there are at least 30 minutes before I get to leave the house and - this is the important part - consume coffee.

That is correct. I leave the house with a thermal coffee mug in hand almost every morning, but never drink any coffee until I am on the road.

Somehow, I still manage to have everything that I need with me each day. My secret?

I use a "prep" checklist to decide what to carry with me each morning.

TIP: Mine is done in OneNote 2013, but you can write one in your planner or post a dry-erase checklist next to your purse or briefcase, by typing up a list, dropping the list into a plastic page protector, highlighting the items that need to leave the house in the morning on the outside of the page protector, and erasing the highlights as each item is packed. 

Highlighting at night and erasing in the morning leaves the list clean and ready to go the next time that you use it.

In the example above, I am planning to go to church and to grocery shop in the morning. I don't bring anything special to church, but I like to bring a watch to the store, as it is usually a two hour trip. Daily items, my watch, and shopping items, like reusable bags, coupons, and my grocery list, are on the my prep list for tomorrow.

Note the use of categorized sub-lists. That makes it easy to pack for the office, a workout, or substitute teaching.

TIP: Don't limit prep checklists to home. At the office, have a master prep list for repetitive meetings or trips. 

Update the list as a need arises that might repeat again in the near future. For example, the next time you remind yourself to put mints and lip balm in your purse before a date, add a date sub-list to your prep list. Maybe you create a sub-list for the library, yoga class, or college courses.

Most things on my list are easy to remember, but in the rush of the morning, this checklist makes life easier. The one thing I never forget? My coffee!

Etcetera.

How to Get Everything Done: Taming Tasks in a Planner

Sticky notes, scrap pieces of paper, lists, to dos, tasks...

Even with a planner, my to do list was a nightmare. I decided to get serious about fixing the problem.

In five easy steps, I tamed my task list so that I can get everything done in a system that works.

1. Gather the Notes Together

Every scrap and slip of paper with a task on it got put into a simple pile.

2. Mark Each Tasks with the Four Ds: Do, Delete, Delegate, or Defer

For each task on the list, a decision had to be made.

TIP: Use four different colors and just put a big dot in the color next to the tasks - green light for do, red light for delete, blue for delegate, and yellow light for defer. See how picturing a red light helped to recall the codes?

Some tasks had to be done, either now or sometime in the near future. 

Lots more than I expected got deleted. I have already done some things, and others had been on my list long enough that they were no longer relevant.

A couple of tasks could be delegated to my husband or children.

NOTE: While my husband and children work hard both inside of the house and out, I do not mindlessly assign tasks to them. For my kids, I gave them the opportunity to do extra chores to earn time to play electronics. It was their choice. (Normal chores are NOT a choice.) For my husband, there were a couple of phone calls that I realized that I had been putting off because he knows the insurance rules better. The tasks were more appropriate for him.

Most of the tasks were not time critical, but I still want to so them, so they got deferred.

3. Schedule Tasks on Weekly Pages

The heart of my planner isn't really my monthly calendar, as anybody can schedule appointments and events on any old calendar. The weekly pages are where the real work happens.

Do tasks go in the white area if they are must dos or should dos. Delegated tasks get noted on the date by which I want them done (written as @ and then the name of the person who is doing them, followed by the task). Deferred items go further in the weekly pages.

Tasks that are less important go in the shaded area near the rings.

TIP: Choose the last possible date that you might do the task on, if it is something that can be put off for a while.

For example, I need to back up my novels, but sometime in the next two weeks should be fine. I don't work every other Friday, so any tasks like that go on the next Friday that I have off.

4. Make a Task Section

I use the task section to capture any non-time sensitive tasks.

For example, I want to make a packing list in my planner for ER trips (with things like my phone charger and socks), should any of the family head to the ER. But that is not time sensitive at all, so it goes on the Task section list.

TIP: Pick a task from this section every now and then and do it.

5. Stop Jotting Tasks in Random Places

If I must make a task list, say for planning a birthday party, that list is a project and goes on my project pages. Or, perhaps, if the list is just what I am doing today, a daily docket is more appropriate.

A random sticky note is NEVER the right place for a task.

Disagree? Let me know! All opinions are welcome.

Etcetera.

Don't Trust the Lies Told on Facebook

Almost all of my Loyal Readers are on Facebook these days. Some follow my Page (where they can see what I am currently reading) and others are in my Group (where we talk about planning, organizing, and productivity).

My truly Loyal Readers, though, know that my blog sometimes strays away from productivity and back to its roots every now and then. This is one of those times. (To be fair, I post about technology and Facebook quite a lot, but not usually in this way.)

I was offended by a breastfeeding photo on Facebook.

I'll pause here and let you calm down.

Better? Okay, keep reading then.

The picture itself did not actually offend me. After all, I had two babies - one took bottles (due to a serious infection that had me hospitalized separate from baby on a heart ward of a different hospital) and one was breastfed.

A Happy, Healthy Breastfed Baby

I have lots of friends who post breastfeeding photographs on their Facebook walls. I understand that they want to normalize feeding a baby at the breast, and I support them. I was more of a cover-up sort of mom (hence the picture of my kid above not eating dinner), but that is a personal choice that every breastfeeding mom should be free to make.

But this particular breastfeeding photo had me raging.

I was not offended because the woman had both breasts exposed (even though the baby was only feeding on one). The critical areas were covered up or cropped out. I was not offended because of nudity or anything remotely offensive in the picture itself.

No, this picture offended me because of the claim in the caption: "Facebook removed this photo for being offensive and pornographic. Share and show Facebook that this picture is beautiful."

I could not imagine Facebook, with its current policies, banning this photo. I use Facebook daily. A quick glance at my friends' list would reveal that some of them post some edgy stuff. None of that gets banned. I smelled a lie.

Sometimes, activists who mean well tell little lies (or don't really bother investigating the truth), and other activists or sympathetic parties repeat those lies, in order to help the cause. 

Here, the cause was sharing breastfeeding pictures on Facebook. And there is nothing like a nice controversy to help a cause.

I tested the lie theory. 

For the first time since I've had Facebook, I reported a post as offensive and pornographic. Yes, I told Facebook a lie, too, since I judge the photograph as well within the bounds of posting guidelines. (I am duly ashamed of my behavior. I couldn't think of any other way to test it. It's not like Facebook will take my calls.)

Within a short period of time, Facebook responded that this picture was within the guidelines set forth by the company, and therefore they would not remove the picture. They gave me reasonable options (the very ones that I generally use when I don't like something, like hiding or blocking the post), but they refused to delete the picture.

I'll say that one more time, in case you missed it.

They refused to delete the picture.

The banned photo was not banned at all. That lie was written to get people to share the photo.

Most people tend to ignore crazy stories on Facebook, but this lie told by the person who first posted the banned breastfeeding picture probably seems reasonable to a lot of people who are getting the link from friends and have personal experience with breastfeeding, such that they know that bad behavior towards nursing moms does happen. In other words, this lie touches vulnerable mothers.

That is not okay.

Share your breastfeeding pictures. Or don't.

Allow breastfeeding pictures in your Facebook feed. Or don't.

TIP: Click on the little arrow in the upper right hand corner of a particular post to hide posts.

But don't help these people spread lies about what is going on in society. Where there are victories for communities, like Facebook's current policy of posting most breastfeeding pictures, reward those policies with truth instead of dishonesty. Respect the women and the babies in the pictures by never assuming, unless you have a personal relationship with the person in the photo, that the caption attached is the truth or that it was written by the person in the picture or the person sharing the picture.

Most of all, don't trust everything you read, but be truthful in your own posts.

Now back to regularly scheduled blogging.

Etcetera.

P.S. I recommend this book for pregnant women and new moms. It served me well.


The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding