Sunday, August 31, 2008

I Don't Even Know What To Say

At midnight, I started, quite suddenly, having contractions, including back labor. I've had an uneventful week, so they came as a SHOCK. They came regularly every 5 minutes. By 1 a.m., I managed to go to a restless, much-interrupted sleep. I dreamed about the contractions. I dreamed I pushed the baby out. I woke abruptly, at 4 a.m. Still contracting.

I took tylenol and benadryl. I took a hot bath. I contracted throughout the bath. I was so upset. I went back to bed, and managed to sleep, moaning and waking every five to seven minutes.

At 6:30 a.m., RING...RING...RING. It was one of my sister's. My parents and the two sisters who are not required to be at work are leaving town. Smart, I guess. Oh, except for the part where they are taking Airline THROUGH New Orleans and staying in the woods in Mississippi. Oh, and that one of the sisters was expected to stay with us. You know, if I go into labor? Her home in Baton Rouge was also our evacuation plan, since I have to stay near the NICU. Not anymore. I don't have a key or a way to get one.

My mom beeped in. Why don't I go with them? (Um, already contracting. AGAINST DOCTORS ORDERS NOT TO TRAVEL. NO NICU OPEN IN NEW ORLEANS OR THAT LITTLE HICK TOWN IN MISSISSIPPI THAT YOU ARE STAYING AT.) Why am I upset? (You are taking away my sitter if I go into labor?) The hospital will just have to deal if you bring Ander with you, right? (Sure, mom. Except that if I deliver, I'm delviering a preemie, so it's in the surgery area. They make no exceptions to the rule that no 2 year olds go in the surgical area - for good reason - which means me delivering BY MYSELF.) Why don't I just send Ander with them? (First, you make poor decisions. Case in point - you are leaving at the absolute last minute and driving towards New Orleans during a hurricane. Second, you might not be able to come back for a long time. Not months, certainly, but maybe a week. My kid is two. Yes, I'm sure you would take care of him. I get that. But he's two. I'm not sending him somewhere where I might not even be able to call him on the phone.)

They think I am being ridiculous for not going with them. Sigh.

And I'm still contracting. They are 10 minutes apart now. That is something, right.

This extra note is just for EBeth. MIL just called, and in Leesville...they cancelled church! Be sure to share that with your hubby in light of last night's conversation.


Saturday, August 30, 2008

I Am Appalled

The local hurricane coverage SUCKS. There is lots of coverage of the projections, current status, and Katrina's impact three years ago. CNN and The Weather Channel are covering okay.

But WWL (through the website), WAFB (tv and website), and WBRZ (tv and website) SUCK. They are not updating evacuations or breaking in regularly with updates or anything. Our 24 hour news repeat channel is repeating last night's 10 p.m. news, at 4 p.m.

News stations, we need to know who needs to evacuate. We need to know when. Give your interns a chance to read the news into the camera. That's fine. But let us know what the heck to expect.

And Acsension Parish? You haven't closed schools. You haven't told us anything. And that is despite the fact that we are currently under a Hurricane Watch. (Note that EBR is not yet.) If you freakin' try to evacuate this very pregnant girl at the last minute, it will become my personal goal to vote out every parish leader. I kid you not.


Hurricane Decision Made Too Early

My parents have been recommended to evacuate at 10 a.m. today. That's in a half hour from the time that I am posting this. That is too early.

They live in the next parish down from me. It's about halfway between Baton Rouge and New Orleans. For Katrina, almost everyone had a lost or damaged roof. They should definitely evacuate for safety. But the call was made way too early. Now, I'm afraid people won't take the local government seriously because they set the time too early.

The local government is usually very reasonable. As an attorney in town, I know these guys. (I say "guys." Truly, most of the parish leaders are male. They just elected a female judge, so that is very exciting. Also, the women who work in the parish office definitely are strong, opinionated women who no doubt had a say in the decision-making. But the bottom line is that it is literally guys who made the ultimate decisions.) But the got it wrong.

Consider my parents. My parents are reasonable people. They have four different evacuation plans. They can stay with MIL. They can take the camper and drive to the Arkansas campground they love. Or they can stay with me or my sister in Baton Rouge. If a hurricane looks strong or like it's hitting directly, they certainly do evacuate.

But the evacuation was called for 10 a.m. today. My dad explained that they would not be leaving that early. They needed non-work daytime hours to board up the house. They couldn't take off to do it Friday because the evacuation wasn't called until Friday at the tail end of the workday. Lower coastal parishes need the chance to get on the road first. As my dad put it, if he lived in Grand Isle, he would always evacuate as soon as a hurricane came near the Gulf. But the parish called for a more northern parish to evacuate earlier than more southern parishes, violating, I might note, the statewide plan. Finally, it is only this morning that the forecasts are becoming more solid and reasonable. The decision should have been made this morning for this afternoon.

But that's not what happened. Fine, for my parents, who will assess and think intelligently. But what about the stubborn people. What about the ones who would have evacuated, but refuse, because they think the leaders are stupid and somehow "punished" for stupidity when the stupid people stay?

I just think the leaders jumped the gun.


Friday, August 29, 2008

I Cannot Sleep

Sure, I'm uncomfortable. There's are parts of my body that feel like they are falling out, when that's, of course, impossible. (It is IMPOSSIBLE, isn't it?) My belly is too big. I physically cannot sleep on it, or on either side as it falls over and gets in the way, or on my back, because I cannot breath that way. I have contractions sometimes...4 or 5 have woke me from a sound sleep in the last few nights.

But that's not the problem.

My mind. My mind is the troublemaker. It won't go to sleep.

I went to bed (finally) at 1 a.m., woke at 6:45 a.m. I just tried to nap (while Ander is napping). I managed 30 restless minutes. My body is tired, but my mind is not.

In honor of the not sleeping (and a deadline), I prepared my docket for my substitute in juvenile court. (That took 3 hours!) Another mommy trades covering maternity leave with me. I do her juvenile court for her maternity leaves and she does mine. It works out great. I also prepared a box of work (filing and such) to send to Rach B. at the office, when she returns on Tuesday (ish, depending on the hurricane). And I called my doctor for a refill on a prescription, called Rach B. to move the electronics in my office to higher ground (bless her, she's going in on maternity leave to do it) in anticipation of storm flooding, and paid my office electric bill. I called all of my clients who've called recently back.

I ate some cookies. I'm not supposed to. :(

I am bored out of my skull.


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Ode to Paca

As he turns 35, it seems it's time to celebrate old Paca's birthday. I only know one person who actually knows Paca in real life, but as an avid Paca blog reader, I feel some commendations are in order.

1. Paca has completed a marathon. Yep, a whole 26-mile one.

2. Paca cooks and does childcare, regularly. His wife enjoys equality and respect. He's a real man.

3. Paca is the smartest person Alan and I know, except for the math/science people. But as a humanities person, it's nice to have an idol.

4. Paca named himself after what is essential a long-necked sheep. I can only surmise that he has absolute self-confidence.

5. Paca has good taste in friends. We should judge people more by their taste in friends, I think.

Oh happy day, our wooly friend. (In the morning, technically, but I don't know the time in the Pacific, so maybe today.)


How I'm Spending This Week of Rest

Some friends recommended I watched the HBO Series (is it HBO?) The Tudors. I am really enjoying it. I have one complaint though. It's a bit soft-core pornish. (Think by using pornish instead of the main word I'll avoid special guest readers?)

Now, I had no objection to the actual content. I won't be watching it in front of Ander, but it's done beautifully and tastefully. It's good.

Still, the people who suggested it knew I was on bedrest. Maybe they didn't know that I'm on full pelvic rest, too. But still, my belly is the size of a beach ball. Nothing's happening. Why didn't they warn me? ;)


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Oh, To Sleep

I woke up at about 2 a.m. And 3 a.m. And 4 a.m. And so on.

It was the darn contractions. Who ever heard of Braxton Hicks being hard enough to keep waking you all night long.

During my contracting, I kept thinking a couple of things.

1. I cannot evacuate. If I evacuate soon enough to avoid a long car ride (and therefore avoid the preterm birth that I am convinced is practically inevitable if I get in a car for more than an hour, based on hard, minute-long, 3 minute apart contractions that I get from driving into Baton Rouge from Gonzales), I might very well evacuate to a place where the hurricane will hit. The cone of error is still to big.

2. We don't have boards for our windows. Crap.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Hurricane Evacuation - Bad Idea?

Well, there's a hurricane in the Gulf. As y'all know, I live south of Baton Rouge. During Katrina, my parish (aka county) was the furthest north that had a madatory evacuation order. (I wrote this part for my "virtual" loyal readers. The IRL readers already know.) I have an evacuation plan in place, which involves going to MIL's house with my immediate family. She lives about 4 hours away, but during the Katrina evacuation, the trip took 8 - 10 hours. I was pregnant then, but only 8 or 9weeks pregnant.

It was awful. We had to use the bathroom whenever we got a chance where ever we got a chance. Food was all carbs. And if I went into labor, the local hospital had no NICU. Nowadays, I pee every hour or so (plus other digestive issues ), I have gestational diabetes, and I keep contracting, making a preterm baby very likely. Oh, and riding in a car equals labor for me so far this month. Plus, the lower pressure of a tropical storm can cause labor (fact, not theory).

This weekend, when I'm just barely 34 weeks (and at the same point in pregnancy when Ander was born and spent over two weeks in the NICU), Hurricane Gustav is expected to be in range to decide whether we need to evacuate. I am nervous about this. (I know the hurricane might totally go elsewhere. The thing is, if it doesn't, we have to prepare this weekend, because I'm on bedrest and Alan has to do everything.)

If we don't evacuate, there is a chance the roads will close and I won't be able to get to the hospital. We will LIKELY lose electricity and water for several days, in the Louisiana heat. The hospital in Baton Rouge (where my doctor and the NICU are) is THE hospital for transfers of NICU babies and high risk moms from the New Orleans area. There won't be any hotels open near the hospital. We could crash with people in Baton Rouge, for a bit extra safety, but not really near the hospital.

If we do, I very well could have a preemie baby in the car. A friend of mine (a giftie) already joked that I need to pack hot water and towels. If not, I could have the baby in a place with poor medical care. I would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable on the car ride and would likely contract the entire time, based on my recent history.

There's probably only about a 10% chance this hurricane could hit us. Maybe even less. But if it does, what should I do? (I plan to ask my doctor tomorrow, too.) Would you leave town this pregnant with labor constantly threatening?


Benedryl Hangover

The morning when I wake after taking Benedryl, like today, are the miserable days. I always wake with a ranging sore throat. I guess it's because the drug dries me out. And if I take Benedryl while pregant, I get a serious bloody nose. My head sort of aches and my body is tired and sore. (The tired and sore, admittedly, come be because of contractions, every 3-5 minutes and really hard, from 2 p.m. until 10 p.m. yesterday.)

Obviously, I couldn't drive home from my mom's house with contractions like that. My sister had a crappy day, but she and her husband drove me (and my car, separately) home anyway.

My mom is going shopping at the outlet mall after lunch, and says she'll drop Ander off after that. (Not having to drive down to pick him up is HUGE. It saves Alan almost two hours!)

'Course, that's only if I'm not contracting. I've been up since 8:30 a.m. I've contracted twice so far. And pretty hard. But I slept all night, so I had a break at least. (I must not have contracted during the night, because trust me, these contractions are too hard to sleep through.)

On Friday, I'll hit 34 weeks. Michelle had Tad at exactly 34 weeks and he came home with her. That's something, at least. But 2 or 3 weeks would be better. However, I cannot be in labor like this for 2 or 3 weeks. I hear stories of people who want a natural childbirth and have an epi because they are in labor so long - 20 hours or more. I don't want a natural childbirth, and my labor has been happening for weeks, and now is happening closer together, without even a one day break.


Monday, August 25, 2008

Signs of Labor

I only went to court for 30 minutes, I swear. Still, I keep contracting and (TMI ahead) *think* I lost my mucus plug. (For the uninformed, it's not a for sure sign of labor and no, you don't want details. Whatever you do, do not google it. LOL.)

This sucks! I have so much work to do and I cannot do any of it.


Sunday, August 24, 2008

How To Know When The Seclusion Is Making You Crazy

When you play so much Zuma that you can reach the last level without restarting the game.

The last level is, ironically enough, in space.


Saturday, August 23, 2008

Oh So Helpful

Every day, when Ander wakes up from his nap, he tries to open his door. I know, I two and a half, he should readily open doors. At least, that's what his pediatrician indicated. When people meet Ander, they thinks he's ahead developmentally. He speaks really, really well. But if they saw him fight with a doorknob, they'd know that he's really uncoordinated.

So we are working on opening doors. "Ander, mommy is right outside your door. You hear me? Well, hello to you, too. Now, grab the door handle. Twist and pull. There you go; you opened the door all by yourself!"

Last night, we went to dinner with Beth Anne. Bad idea. The dinner and the company were wonderful. The contractions started immediately and lasted over a minute and were three to four minutes apart. We left early. Alan left his cell phone on the table and has to go back to town today to get it.

Then, when we got home, the kids had somehow managed to lock the bathroom door from the inside. I asked Alan why he thought it was a big deal as he struggled with the lock. "Lay down, Kristy, you are contracting. And you go to the bathroom 25 times a day [aside for my readers - I think he made a slight exxageration]. I don't want you walking all the way to our bedroom. Think of the baby."

He kept trying to pick the lock and I went lay down with Ander in his bed. "What is daddy doing?" "Well, Ander, he's trying to open the bathroom door."

Fifteen minutes later, with zero success, Alan finally came into Ander's room to tuck him in for the night.

"No luck?"

"Daddy, just twist and pull. Mommy will help you." How helpful, son.

We were tired and frustrated, but laughing so hard we cried. Thanks, Ander. That was really helpful.

(If you know our address and want to try your breaking and entering skills, there's still a locked bathroom to practice on. Twist and pull doesn't always work. But shhh, don't tell Ander.)


Friday, August 22, 2008

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Alan is torturing our child.

My husband moved all the DVDs out of the baby's room and into the living room. For other kids, this means that they cannot touch or knock over the DVDs. Not a problem for my rule-following, anal retentive child who would never let the DVDs get out of place.


Ander has too many choices. He sees all the movies and his mind swirls with the possibilities. It takes him a half hour to decide. I've tried giving him two choices - Aladin or Lady and the Tramp, Ander? Nope. He's freaking out because he sees the other choices and knows they are there.

Plus, the are the Numbers. Right over the shelf of cartoons is the shelf of TV series. The Lost DVDs say, "1" and "2" and "3." Ander doesn't know why he can't watch the numbers. {rolls eyes}

Toddler torture. So harsh.


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Gross E-mails

To: Alan

Subject: Your Child

The good news: he slept until almost 8 a.m.!!!

The bad news: he announced, "I peed ALL OVER my bed," and he did. :(

Reply from Alan

Uhm, yeah, just need to fold the comforter back so it can dry. I knew I should have changed him this morning.

To: Alan

I already folded it back. I did not take off the sheets, though. I rearranged them so they can air dry. I maybe can through them in the wash, but just moving everything caused contractions, so we shall see.

Reply From Alan

Just let them air dry. He'll just pee on them again tomorrow.

{Kristy gags a little. She was better off not knowing how these things work.}


Not Allowed To Help

My little sister is having a baby shower soon. My other sisters called me to discuss what needs to be done, but they won't actually put me in charge of doing anything, because they are scared I'll go into labor before Sept. 14, the day of the shower, when I will be 36 weeks pregnant. He he. I am in charge of compiling the list of foods people are bringing, but only because I can do it from my laptop and with the caveat that I'd better forward an updated list to them regularly. LOL.

So, when do you think I'm going into labor?

List a date, delivery time, and weight of the child in the comments below. Closest guess to the date and time gets the privilege of babysitting. ;)

Remember, I'm due October 10, but already on bedrest.


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Rachel S. Came Over

She did a load of baby laundry. (She washed and dried, and since I can fold, I folded.) She did the dishes. She cleaned the toys up. She brought my dishes to the sink. She drove me to lunch and then to the doctor's office.

Through it all, Zoe smiled and giggled and made me want a baby, which is probably just what I needed.

And Alan and Ander came home tonight, and because the dishes and daily load of laundry was already done, they got to spend quality father-son time together for the first time since I've been on bedrest.

I recommended that she become a bedrest doula as a career!


Sneaking in Jesus

I picked up a book in the Young Adult section of the library about a girl who attended boarding school. I read the back cover, and having attended a residential high school myself, I though it'd be a good, light read.

Nothing on the cover said "preachy Christian book." Nothing.

So imagine my surprise when the whole entire book evangelized. I'm not saying it was about a girl who happened to be Christian. That would have been fine. It was a book meant to preach a "born again" gosple.

Even then, I don't have a problem with a Christian book. I certainly think the library shouldn't pull a book because it's Christian. I would let my child read this book (as I would most any book). I'm even Christian myself, although I do NOT believe that having Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior is the goal. I believing living a life that considers others, serves others, and is moral and good is the goal, and that Jesus helps us achieve that goal. So the book did not teach what I would teach my kid. But THAT was not my problem with the book.

My problem was that the book was sneaky. It pretended to be a secular novel for young other words, minor children. The cover had girls in skimpy skirts and high heels. The back cover talked about mild sexual themes. The whole thing was packaged for the bad girl to pick up, read, and get converted. I didn't like that tactic used with children. It is wrong. If you want to evangelize, there are two ways. One is by example. (And, frankly, lots of Christian books do that quite well.) The other is by letting me know I'm in for preaching - invite me to your church, write Christian fiction on your cover, or do something to indicate you are going to preach. But, in particular, DO NOT trick me. Don't invite me to your home for Scrabble, and then try to make me convert. Pray to save my soul, if you must, but don't get pick me up to ride with you to dinner, and then preach when I cannot get out of the car.

And never ever ever try to trick my teenager into listening to your version of what kind of religion is "right." It's just sneaky, underhanded, and rude.


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Ask and You Shall Receive

Paca's Blog At My Request


Nesting Instinct

Pregnant women talk about the instinct to nest. Mine has always come in the form of organizing stuff. I don't get the urge to scrub the kitchen floor. But, right this second, I feel like I need to reorganize Ander's closet, sort and hang his clothes, clean and fold the baby's clothes, replace the paper towels on the empty rack, pick up all the toys lying get the idea. The urge is practically overwhelming. It feels like I'll cry if I don't do it.

Of course, I can't do any of it. Nada. So I sit, feeling like I am totally doing the wrong thing, when I am actually doing the exact right thing.

Damn hormones.


Monday, August 18, 2008

Home Again

We're home again. I'm still contracting more than most women in labor, but a lot less than earlier. Fortunately, I still didn't dialate anymore and once again did well on the test that predicts labor in the next two weeks. That means, short of my water breaking, I will NOT need steroids for the baby's lungs.

Contractions are shown on a meter at the hospital, ranging from 0 to 12. I had several between 8 and 10. Ouch. In between, I had tons of others between 4 and 8.

On the way to the hospital, all the roads were flooded and we had to drive around for an hour to get there. I really thought I would have to get a police escort.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers. So far, so good.


Headed To The Hospital

Yet again. I've been contracting every 3-5 minutes (closer to 3) since 3 p.m., and it's now almost 7 p.m. We did what we could at home to stop it - bath, tylenol, benadryl - and now it's time to ket the doctor's try. I'm 32 1/2 weeks, so we really need to stop the contractions or we are looking at a month in the NICU.

I will update as soon as I get home, or have Alan update in the morning.

Say some prayers that this is yet another false alarm.


Tiny Baby Kicks

The baby is getting smushed. He used to give big, hard kicks. Now, it's tiny little taps. Other people have told me stories of babies up in their ribs, but I had no idea. Baby has parked his bum right under my right ribcage. It is a very disturbing feeling.

I'm about 32 1/2 weeks. I've been pregnant forever. I have never had a problem with inductions for medical reasons. In fact, I might be facing one with a history of big baby, a baby who increases significantly in size every sonogram, and gestational diabetes (which raises the risk of harm to the baby as the baby gets larger). But I never quite got why someone would electively induce and risk a baby born too early or a c-section. However, I get it now. I still wouldn't do it, but wow, my stomach is huge and my body is hurting.

Staying off your feet for two weeks sure does make you weak and lethargic.


Friday, August 15, 2008


Ugh! And argh! I am so frustrated with being pregnant and on partial bedrest.

Everytime Alan's mom comes to visit, I complain about the arrival time. She always says she is coming early. So I keep Ander up to visit with Grandma. Then, she shows up late, because she stops to eat/shop/whatever. (I'd stop to eat and shop, too, BTW. I just need her to tell me, on the front end, "I'll be there in the late afternoon" or whatever.) Inevidentably (sp?), she shows up right as I am giving up and about to put Ander down for a nap. Just in time to keep him awake, of course. So I either have to listen to him whine later (from missing his nap) or force him to go to nap right as he gets excited because Grandma is here.

This time, I said I would be working Friday and she could come on Friday afternoon. Of course, bedrest happened so I'm not working. So Alan asked if she could come earlier. I am at the point of breakdown exhaustion. Last night, I contracted all night. I'm emotionally and physically exhasuted. I haven't slept more than 6 hours in days, except for a couple of daytime naps. Ander was with my mom Tuesday and Wednesday, and Doris and my cousin took care of him (and me...thanks Doris) at my house yesterday, but I still really needed someone to care for him today. However, I did not make arrangements, because MIL was coming.

I said that earlier would be fine, as long as it wasn't during Ander's nap. Morning with Ander is really the worse part. I have to feed both of us breakfast. Change his clothes and diaper. Put on a movie for him. Help him with a million little requests. Take my blood sugar twice. Take my morning meds. Get dressed and brush my teeth. It isn't anything stenuous - unless you are supposed to be resting and you are contracting instead. But no biggy, because MIL would be here soon to help out.

(Aside - I've never seen her change a diaper or make Ander a meal or anything, so I'm not sure the level of help I can expect. She really doesn't even play with him much. Perhaps my expectations are too high. Sigh.)

Alan tells me last night that his mom said she might come down earlier. MIGHT?!? I need to know. If she isn't coming, I really do need help. Today, it's that she'll be here at lunchtime, maybe. Right before nap, again. ARGH!!! So I'm stuck taking care of Ander during peak time again (7 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.) and no help and I'm feeling like crap.

At work, I've been busy continuing all of my court dates. Because of that, I have no time to work on my actual cases. Plus, tons of new clients are calling, but I have no time to respond, because I'm busy just trying not to get to the point of labor or passing out.

Also frustrating (while I'm on a roll) sister called me yesterday to ask if she could pick up some groceries for us while she was at the grocery store near our house. Great. Except my husband wanted to just swing by the grocery store on Saturday instead. I can't even fathom a reason. He's already planning to go to Babies 'R Us with his mom on Saturday, and to cook, and if you add a grocery trip, that means I'm sitting alone all day AGAIN. In addition to the loneliness, which is oppressive at this point (remember, when my husband gets home, he is so busy doing dishes and laundry and cooking and caring for Ander and everything that he doesn't really get to visit with me), it means more doing for myself. At this point, I'm making most of my own meals. Getting up and down to refill water, take meds, answer the phone, and do all the other things a person has to take care of. I'm not resting. I'm just, well, at home and not at work. A whole day alone Saturday is not in the plans. I ignored hubby's wishes and told sister yes.

I know Alan is focused on getting things accomplished. Groceries, laundry...these things are not negotiable. They must be done. But I also have to rest, take meds, change clothes everyday, and eat. Those things must get done, too. And I can't rest and do all the rest of it. I feel like I am not doing my job of keeping the baby in, and like I can't do my job of keeping the baby in, without actually having hubby around more.

Also, I was in tears with Alan argued that he would only shop for a minute with his mom. His mom went to Target with us after Ander was born, "just for a minute," and I ended up on bedrest and then in the hospital, separated from my new baby. The first time I had serious contractions this pregnancy, it was shopping with his mom. She (and Alan) took their time and finished shopping before bringing me home...and left me alone to care for Ander while contracting. No, she went further than leaving me alone. She took Ande rout of the buggy, near the parking lot traffic, and sent him to "go find mommy," while I was bent over contracting. Nothing about their history tells me that either one will think about me and the baby and our well-being while shopping. Alan's mind is just too one-track, goal-oriented. Plus, he truly doesn't seem to realize, through his own exhaustion, how tired and out of energy and poorly off I am. And his mom, for all her well-meaning words, doesn't even stop for a second to realize how delicate the situation is with me or to think to help in any way.

I usually don't blog about such stuff, I know. But I need to deal with this somehow and there's no one around to talk to. I'm hungry, and a gestational diabetic pregnant woman, so I should get up and eat breakfast, but I'm so exhausted...I don't know how I'll find the energy. I'm losing weight again, and I know that's NOT okay at this point in pregnancy.

Could I possibly bitch anymore?


Thursday, August 14, 2008

How To Know When A Kid SHOULD Be Potty-Training...

...even though he point blank refuses.

"Is that a penis, daddy?" (Aside - Daddy was wearing clothes.) "You use it to pee pee? On the potty? I have a penis. It doesn't want to potty. I squeeze it. It still does not want to potty."

Communication Skills = A+

Potty Skills = D-


Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Decent Doctor News

I saw my high risk specialist today. He seemed, well, totally unconcerned with the contractions. Shrug. He basically said the same thing as my other doctor. They are doing the very best thing to control them (my shots and resting), and, otherwise, the baby would come if he decides to. He weighs over 4 pounds already.

I don't have to go back until I am full-term, and then only to make sure the baby isn't so big that I have to be induced.


Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Got Out of the House

It's no fun when you day out of the house is a continuing legal education seminar. It really sucks, in fact. I like seeing other adults. Not seeing other adults all day drives me crazy. And frankly, when Alan does get home from work, he has to clean and cook and take care of Ander, and we really don't get to visit. But a nice dinner out or an evening at a coffee shop would have been much more fun.

Ander is spendiing the night at my mom's. It's really hard to have him spend an overnight once a week, but there's just no way to avoid it and stay on bedrest. :/ It's sort of weird to come home and have my son not be here.


Monday, August 11, 2008

Ten Reasons I Am Up At Three In The Morning

1. The medicine I've been taking for three days because I couldn't pee? Finally kicking in.

2. Contractions. Only about one or two an hour, but they really hurt.

3. Crampiness. Major crampiness.

4. I napped from 3 p.m. until 6:30 p.m. But I couldn't help it.

5. The baby keeps kicking the bladder that is now working.

6. Earlier tonight, Ander kindly offerred me the boppy pillow "for your bootie, mommy." That kid is smart.

7. Alan needs to sleep for work tomorrow, so I left the room to let him rest instead of waking him everytime I toss and turn.

8. My head hurts.

9. There's complaining to be done and no one else is around to complain to.

10. The wheat bread I ate did something strange to my tummy.


Sunday, August 10, 2008

Oh EBeth...

Obviously, I couldn't visit on your birthday due to the bedrest. But I hope it was amazingly happy.

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday to you,

Happy birthday dear Beth,

Happy birthday to you.

(And none of my pesky tone deafness to distract from the song. ;) )


Preparing for the Birth

If I post this, or anything like it after the baby comes, I hope I get the same sort of supportive comments that the author of that blog did.

My friend Rachel B. had a baby born screaming. (He's my Godchild and the baptism was today!) He would not sleep unless held. Crying it out, whatever your opinion of crying it out, doesn't work at one or two days old. The parents can't stand it. The baby is clearly in distress. So they held him. And held him. And brought him to the doctor. And held him some more. I could see Rachel's fear that someone (say, a MIL? ;)) would comment that she should put that baby down or he would be spoiled. She kept telling me that her pediatrician said you cannot spoil a newborn -in a tone that said she was trying to explain and to convince herself. (He's much better now. Sleeping like a baby!)

I didn't judge or say a word. My position on crying it out is that, at some point, it's fine. That point is WAY LONG after an infant is born (as in, you can bet your bunny that Ander, once we've checked all possibilities for crying and solved what we can, will not be allowed out of bed even if he is crying), for me at least. I do believe in scheduling, but I believe you push toward scheduling in subtle ways. Set it up to the extent possible based on baby's natural cues. Wait an extra minute to pick baby up and make sure crying doesn't stop on its own, if it's not time to eat or be awake. Change a diaper before feeding baby if baby gets hungry early (resulting in a 2 minute delay, but letting baby know mommy or daddy is there and is responding). Use sound and light during the day and quiet and dark during the night. It's definitely not crying it out, but it's not immediate response to baby's every desire, either.

But it didn't matter what I thought about picking the baby up everytime. I wasn't doing it at 3 a.m. It was mommy and daddy's call.

This time, I will be attempting breastfeeding. It is NOT my dream. I don't desire breastfeeding. I'm not wanting to breastfeed. I did not with Ander, because of my assosrted medical problems. This pregnancy, my medical problems don't affect breastfeeding, thus far. So, I will be breastfeeding, at least at first. But I WILL complain. I will not like it. (Let's all hope I'm wrong about this, right?) Sometimes, you do something that is against every core of yourself, because it's the right thing to do. There is no law that says it has to make you happy. If I find it continues to be best for my baby and family, I will continue to breastfeed. If I don't, I won't. I suspect it will be better for everyone than I fear. But who knows?

Ultimately, it's going to be mommy and daddy's call. But I expect the comments. I expect my MIL to tell me stories of other's horrible experiences. I expect my BIL to go on and on about how I should hide in my room to feed the baby. I expect my breastfeeding friends to at least think, even if they are too kind to say, that I should hide less. My lactation consultant, who will no doubt be summoned only to check latch and NOT to comment on the one formula bottle a day plan my husband and I have decided on, will comment on the formula.

But a girl can dream that all comments (IRL and on-line) will be supportive, right?


Libraries and Quiet

We took my two year old to the library today, as we do about once a month. My sister (a school teacher) takes him sometimes, too, so he's pretty familiar with the library. On the way, I wanted to remind him of the rules. So I said, "Ander, you remember the rules at the library?" I meant things like listen to mommy and daddy, use an inside voice, and yellow light walking feet. (I'm a former school teacher, too, so I use tricks like yellow light.)

My sister must have taught him something else, because he said, "don't talk."

Hmm...okay, not bad for a two year old. Obviously, I don't want him running around disturbing others.

But why silence in a library? Really, why? Alan and I were discussing it. I study or work in coffee shops all the time with people talking around me. Barnes and Nobles is usually quite loud, yet calm and relaxing. Why do libraries (and in particular, the meanie librarians at the Gonzales library) require quiet? Also, if they are going to require quiet, why do they put obnoxious, loud computers that sing songs in the kids' area in the middle of the library?

On the plus side, he got to check out a really cool book about animals that he keeps "reading" to us.

And I got about 15 books.


Saturday, August 9, 2008

Bedrest Boredom

The first couple of days, I was tired from the many drugs they pumped into me at the hospital, so I wasn't that bored. Now, I'm deadly bored. At least the Olympics are on, huh?

I'm going to make myself a bit of a schedule for the weekdays, so hopefully that will help. I'll try to work about 2 hours every week day. It's not a whole lot, but it should keep me from getting too behind and let me make a little bit of money. Alan's going to die when I hear this, because obviously the house is a mess between us cleaning out the spare room for the baby and him doing everything for three people and working, but I'm going to try to invite friends or family over sometimes, just because I can't really leave the house to visit.

I went to the library today and checked out tons of books, but even that short excursion caused contractions. (Aside - no contractions otherwise, though...yippee!!!) I'm not really a movie person and the good tv hasn't started yet. I get on my computer, but that starts to hurt my neck and arms after a while since I'm not exactly sitting straight up. I might need Alan to move the Lazy Boy into the living room.


Friday, August 8, 2008

Other Than Contacting Clients With The News...

...there's no more work for me. I'm supposed to rest, rest, rest (though,thankfully, not strict bedrest) until 36 weeks (September 12) to avoid making the contractions worse. If they get strong again, I'm to head to the hospital. I am not to go to work.

Alan and I are coming up with a plan for Ander. I can care for him some, but probably not for two days in a row, or else I start contracting. Doris said she might be able to visit my house once or twice a week to help watch Ander, my aunt who lives in Gonzales is off on Fridays and can take him then, and we'll probably do two days in a row with an overnight in between at my mom's house during the week. That should cover childcare. As long as I don't do things for myself except when I am alone, I should be fine for the duration, if the contractions seem to follow the same pattern.

Until 34 weeks (3 weeks from today), the doctor will try to stop any contractions that I have. If I dilate to 2 cms (I'm soft and a fingertip right now, whatever that means...I think it means I've had way too many strange fingers up my woo hoo lately) or fail the Fetal Fibronecsomething test on August 20, I go to the hospital to suppress labor. If I contract >4 hour after resting, taking Tylenol and Benadryl, and a hot bath, I go to the assessment center to make sure labor isn't productive. (Fortunately, I'm holding strong at about three major contractions an hour. :/) After 36 weeks, I can probably get off of bedrest since they won't stop labor or mind the baby coming at that point anyway.

I have a sonogram next Wednesday, where they will assess size and whether the baby is practicing his breathing.


Thursday, August 7, 2008

Braxton Hicks

I don't personally know Braxton Hicks, or if Braxton is a real person, but I'd like to murder him. Hmmph!

I slept from 8ish last night until 10:30 this morning. That's a lot of sleep. I no longer feel drugged, though I still feel physically fatigued, sore, and weepy. But at least I can think clearly for the first time since Wednesday night.

I'm taking it really easy today. Really easy. I get up to make food and go to the bathroom. (I'm waiting until Alan gets home to take a bath, because I'm scared I'm still weak enough to slip and fall.) But, everytime I get up, I contract.

I understand that BH contractions are mostly nothing to worry about and nonproductive. But since they are really strong and close together...and since I'm getting more today than yesterday, HOW THE HECK DO I KNOW IF I AM REALLY IN LABOR?!? If was 36 or more weeks pregnant, I wouldn't freak out. More contractions? Well, so what if they make me start dialating? But right now, I want them stopped, in case they are real, so the baby doesn't come early. And all those on-line checklists to tell the difference? USELESS. Mine sound like real contractions, per the checklist, but are nonproductive, which you can only tell once you get a cervix check in the hospital.

BH sucks.


Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Home From the Hospital

No baby yet, but his heart rate is strong, even through the contractions. :/

By the time I left work yesterday, I was feeling pretty bad. I was having mild contractions 2 or 3 times an hour and they were getting stronger. The pressure on my back and bum was pretty intense. And I just felt yucky - mild headache, tired, and beat. I came home and rested. Alan fixed me supper and my water and brought both to me. He took care of Ander. I drank more water.

The contractions started to hit, boom, boom, boom, every 3-4 minutes, around 8 p.m. I started timing them. At 9 p.m., we called my doctor. Per his nurse practitioners orders, I took tylenol, benadryl, more water, and a 20 minute soak in a hot tub. In 20 minutes, I only had two contractions.


Boom, boom, boom. I wasn't in pain, but they were strong, frequent, and longer. After 10 in an hour, we went on in to the assessment center.

I kept thinking on the way there that no contractions would show (because they didn't "hurt") and they'd laugh me home.

4 shots, including three different drugs, since the first two didn't work, several hours, 2 nurses because they went get the high risk certified nurse for me, and two doctors (mine on call and the hospital call doctor), 2 cervical checks (still just a fingertip!!! :)), and no food or water later, :(, we left the hospital at 5 a.m. contraction free.

I can no longer grocery shop. I am to rest at least two naps/rest periods a day, plus whenever else a bed or couch is available. I am not allowed in the sun or anywhere where I might get hot. (No False River for me this weekend. :( ) Bascially, I am truly as close to bedrest as one can get while not being on bedrest.

I'll probably only go into work when I have a meeting or court. Otherwise, I'll be working from home. Loading Ander in and out of the car seems to be one of the contraction triggers.

At 36 weeks, I am allowed to relax and let the contractions come. In the meantime, 4 in an hour means call the doctor. Heck, I've gotten 4 in a hour at least 4 times a week for the past 4 weeks. So this should be fun.

For those who know last night, thanks for the positive thoughts. Today I am 30 weeks and 5 days. The goal is at least 36 weeks.


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

How Will I Tell?

Considering all the "nonproductive" contractions and other symptoms (trust me, you don't want the details), how will I know when labor actually happens? Last night, I kept having contractions. They weren't THAT hard (as in, I didn't need an epi...LOL). My doctors know that I am having the symptoms. But all signs are that they are not productive. That's great news, at 30 weeks. I am taking it as easy as possible. I lie down a lot. I take naps. I work only as much as I have to.

But when real labor hits, I'm scared I won't recognize it. With Ander, my water broke. It wasn't a trickle; the doctors called it a gross rupture of the membranes. It was gross, but I suspect they use that term because it's a massive rupture. There was no doubt. This time, who knows. There may be doubt.

Alan said yesterday that he is scared we will end up with a NICU baby. It is scary. My one wish for this birth is that the baby stay in our room and come home with us from the hospital when I check out. Is that really too much to ask?


Friday, August 1, 2008



Seriously, if you attended LSMSA (at all), check it out. The group on there is really ncie and cool.


10 More Weeks

10 more weeks! And Ander arrived in 4 more weeks, comparing his arrival to today's pregnancy process. I have NOTHING done.

I don't have a stroller, car seat, or sling. I don't have a diaper or a bottle or a drop of formula or a monitor. (We can get away without some of this, since I'll be nursing mostly, but not the car seat! Ander's got in a wreck, so it's not available.)

The baby's room looks like a tornado hit it. The crib isn't up yet. The room isn't painted. Mommy and daddy's crap isn't moved out yet. No problem you say, since the baby is sleeping in our room? Still a problem! Our room doesn't have the bassinet part of the pack 'n play set up or the co-sleeper pulled out. And the baby needs to nap in it's room, since I might not hear him (the way my house is built) from my room to the living room.

Of course, we have plans every weekend. And by after work everyday, I just crash, in pain, contracting, and exhausted. Alan cares for Ander and cleans the house and helps with cooking, but really, we are just getting by.