Friday, May 30, 2008

Holy Shots

Alan gave me my first "at home" progestorone shot. He didn't do too bad. There was a little blood (unusual) and he still said "ready?" (which, I guess, is better than "throw it like a dart" ), but it really didn't hurt. He put a bandaid on it and Ander gave mommy a kiss.

Then Ander demanded his shot. So Alan cleaned his skin, gave him a little pinch, and gave him a bandaid. I gave Ander a kiss and Ander told us he feels better. And then, since his make-believe shot was on his leg...he limped away dramatically. LOL!!!


Blood Sugars Rising

I'm getting nervous. My blood sugars (especially the fasting one, which is the hardest one to control with diet) are slowly rising. I really need to walk EVERY SINGLE NIGHT to help it, before I get GD. But walking is causing mild to moderate contractions. Sigh.

We are having lunch with hubby today! Yippee!!!


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Getting Things Accomplished

I straightened the bathroom and unload a bag of bathroom supplies (replacement toothbrushes, t-shirts) while Ander was in the tub yesterday.

And this morning, while making breakfast for me and Ander, I wiped down the counters, put some stuff away, and cleaned up a bit.

I'm actually keeping up with stuff.


Gas Prices Changing Me Choices

This week, it cost $49 to fill up my Hyundai Elantra. For the record, an Elantra is a small car. And as non-hybrids go, it is very fuel efficient. And, on a busy week with lots of court dates and such, I sometimes have to fill it twice. (This week is mostly just to and from work, though, so I'll hopefully only fill it once.)

I'm trying to find ways to economize. I am failing miserably.

First, I took tons of extra junk out of the car. I'm trying to carry only what I need (for better gas mileage). But that include my work bag (heavy with files) and laptop, Ander's car seat, Ander's stroller (with my current bad back, I dare not leave home without it, though I use it rarely), and assorted other kid-related stuff.

I'm also trying to telecommute for a couple of hours on Friday, instead of driving into work. But when you run a business, you have certain errands to run. For example, I have to stop by Office Depot for a supply refill of supplies that need to be physically looked at and can't just be reordered on-line. And when you are a high risk pregnant woman, you have other errands. Refill your meds. See your doctor. Draw your blood. Basically, if you don't do this stuff some other day of the week (while you are, you do it on Friday.

At this point, I'm burning more gas on Friday than any other day.

There is no grocery store in walking distance. (Well, there is one in walking distance for me. But not for Ander. And the route to it is heavy traffic and has no place to push a stroller.) I can't bike anywhere (pregnant and heavy traffic and have a child). I try to drive slower, but frankly, on my mostly interstate commute to work, driving at an environmentally-friendly speed can get you killed.

And forget visiting friends in Baton Rouge (or further away). It costs too much. So we sit at home, wishing we had something fun to do. Or we squeeze in friends around errands (since we've already driven to town) and end up exhausted and cranky.

There is no good answer.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Giving Thanks

Un called me yesterday.

I organized my favorites on internet explorer, saving me tons of time every morning.

I cleaned out my car.

I found a purse that is the right size and functions as both a backpack and a carry purse, depending on my needs.

I accomplished all the must dos on my task list by 11:30 a.m.


Reminds Me Of My First Date With Alan

There's a picture in the PJ's Coffee place that I frequent that I love.

It's a little hard to tell, but it has a circle (like a moon) in one corner and an image of suggestive of two people embracing. It's a brownish, orangish, yellowish color.

And the words get me everytime:

"She said if I tried to kiss her she'd cry. i dried her tears all through the night."


Working On Work

I am making every attempt to be more productive at work. Know what cuts into that work time? Um, a kindergarten graduation. Delivering boxes to my sister so she can pack up her classroom. A sudden doctor's appointment for my sitter (who happens to be my mom) because of a strange rash (that turned out to just be some bad and nasty bug bites). Bloodwork for my mom the next day, because the doctor noticed she hadn't had a checkup in a while.

Alan got me a new pda, and I haven't even had time to charge it up. Luckily, my old pda is still working. But it's on its last leg, occasionally freezing up, hence the new pda.

And I used to work at home or coffee shops, a lot. But with Alan getting home late every night, it's hard to get any at home work done. And when he does get home, I hate to leave for a coffee shop, both because gas prices are high and because I haven't seen much of my husband, so I end up hanging out with him for a few precious moments.


Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Norm

Is it normal to insist that other people let you buy them a new bedroom set, and to insist that the same people should choose the pukey orange shiney blanket, FOR THEIR OWN BEDROOM?

Is it normal to grocery shop, on your last day visiting, and buy tons of food that your hosts have not picked out and have no interest in and to try and insist that they keep the food, even though it is literally so much that your hosts cannot close their frig?

Is it normal to see someone having a contraction (the fifth one in an hour, at 20 quite scary) and to tell that person's two year old, in the Wal-mart parking lot, to go with mommy (who is doubled up on the ground from the strength of the contraction)...and then to let go of said two year old's hand?

Is it normal to nap on the couch ALL DAY, then claim you don't nap and get angry when your son says that you do?

Is it normal to only shower once during a five day visit?

Is it normal to ignore the fruits and veggies on a kid's plate, and insist that they eat the icing off of the cupcake, even after they say they don't want it?

Is it normal to eat a pound or more of food at every single meal, to take an hour or longer to eat, and to claim that you never really eat anything?

Is it normal to constantly warn a two year old of impending - and imagined - danger, but not specify ANY action that the child can actually take to avoid the danger?

Is it normal to respond to "we have plans tomorrow" with, "oh, no problem...I'll just stay at your house alone and wait for you to come home"?

Is it normal to constantly ask to come over and "help" after the birth, and after being told "no, we'd like to do this on our own," to say "why do you think I wouldn't be a help...I'll just stay in my room and not get in your way"? (Okay, this one deserves a commentary. As I explained to MIL, if she stays in the room, she is not helping. And I am too anal about how things are done to let anyone else do them. And it's going to be Ander's new bedroom by then, which would mean that she would be evicting Ander just as the new baby arrives. And, she doesn't actually help. That is, she says she will clean and cook, but she will spend so much time asking us to find the cleaning supplies and cooking supplies and putting them away in the wrong place so we'll spend hours looking for them that it will be worse for us instead of better.

It's not like we (both Alan and I) aren't blunt and clear in our responses. It's our home and we will make the decisions (decorating, child discipline, and who stays here after childbirth) here. It's just that she ignores anything we say and just goes about life doing what she thinks is the right thing. I just couldn't visit someone and try to redecorate their house. Or assume I know better what the people should eat. Or stick around their house when they already have plans. Or answer a comment like, "well, we get off work Friday afternoon" with "well, I'll get there Thursday morning, or at noon."



Friday, May 23, 2008

For My Friends Who Are Geeky Battlestar Galactica Fans

Which, of course, does NOT include me, as I am neither geeky, nor more than a casual watcher (as opposed to a fan) of the show.


Overheard at the OB's Office

"That wagina light just tried to grab my bootie." -My Baby's Daddy


Thursday, May 22, 2008

Feeling Frustrated

I've done more housework lately than I have in years. Part of it is that Alan is always working. Part of it is that I am really working on teaching Ander to clean up after himself. And part of it is that I'm tired of living without knowing where things are.

Through all this, my back hurts and I am pregnant and uncomfortable.

So imagine my anger, surprise, and rage when someone (cough...*my husband*...cough cough) claimed he does "everything" around the house. He works hard. I will not deny that AT ALL. But not everything. Not even close.

I am sorely tempted to stop doing all the stuff I am doing (except for those things critical to Ander's existence, but I could keep a log of those things), and teach him what EVERYTHING really means.



Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Offend Much?

I offended someone on a message board that I post on. It's a pregnancy board. The woman had a complaint about a pain she was having. Someone else rated the post 3 stars out of 5 possible stars. No other posts were rated, and since she got 3 stars, and not a negative rating of 1 star or a positive rating of 5 stars, I figured a person had just accidentally rated the post (easy enough to do on this particular message board). So I made a comment about how it was funny that someone would give any stars at all for a post about pain. Obviously, pain wasn't positive (I'm pregnant, and it sucks). But the accidental post of stars was ironic.

Maybe I didn't communicate what was funny appropriately. Or, maybe, the person was just having a really bad day. Whatever it was, the poster called me "small minded" and said I was mocking her pain.


Of course, it doesn't matter what some stranger on a message board thinks. I don't value this woman's opinion at all, so she can consider me a small minded whatever, and it doesn't bother me a bit.

But what about when you totally don't mean something in an offensive way, but the person is ACTUALLY offended (as opposed to just argumentative). Should you apologize? Or does an apology somehow suggest that you did intend the offense, and therefore make the offended person feel worse? I never know the answer to that question. And, clearly, I talk enough that, on occasion, I offend, even when what I was actually trying to say would not have been offesnive at all.

I'll probably offend my MIL this weekend, when I tell her that she needs to stay with my mom or get a hotel when the baby is born. It shouldn't be offensive. We want her here. We want her to visit and share in the joy and bond with her grandkids. We just don't want the extra stress of a houseguest, after the horrible time I had last time, exhausted and ending up in the hospital. I don't intend to offend, and saying "hey, this one time in this special situation, we need our home to ourselves" shouldn't be offensive. And if she is offended, I clearly cannot apologize, or she'll think that I am thinking what she probably is thinkging, that she is not welcome, which is NOT AT ALL what I am thinking. I am thinking that I need to focus on my children and breastfeeding and recovery and I don't want to be in the hospital again, just because I cannot rest enough. I'm thinking that not having someone (anyone, including my own mom) stay over will help me, because of the way I am. So there will be no apology. Just a statement of what will happen. But there might be tears...hers, not mine. I sincerely hope not.


Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A Little Bit At A Time

I've been working on the mess in my house and my car, just a tiny bit at a time. Mostly, I've been focusing on putting stuff back where it belongs and, when I'm moving from one room to another, bringing one item with me to its home. The house is getting much closer to organized, just by doing these two things.

I've also rearranged my "launchpad." I have an area in my coat closet that has two shelves. The bottom shelf is for stuff leaving the house eventually, like the pictures Brien asked me to transport to Phillip that I haven't taken care of yet. Next time I go to see Phillip, I'll grab the pictures (in theory). The top shelf is for things that go with me the next time I leave the house (like my laptop case and purse). But I added another layer. I'm using a shoe sorter, hanging in the same closet, to have a little storage space for each upcoming day of the week. My watch, rings, and glasses are in the Tuesday space at this moment. On Thursday, I have to do my blood sugars, so my finger prick package (sounds fun, doesn't it?) is in the Thursday spot. On Friday, I have to bring my meds and shots to my doctor, so those things are in the Friday space. It's like a tickler file for physical stuff. My anal side likes it.


Monday, May 19, 2008

My Case Against An Only Child

My husband. (Case closed and I win, right? ;))

My husband really struggles with balancing more than one person at a time. He was an only child and all the focus was on him. He didn't turn out incredibly spoiled or anything (though he was a little spoiled), but he is not always considerate of others. That is not to say that he is inconsiderate. It's just that, once he sees a possible way of doing something, it is stressful for him to ever change course.

He drives to work the same way every single day. If I ever offered a reason to drive another way (run an errand, see a beautiful and rare sight, or a massive wreck on the interstate, he probably would still drive the same way.

Yesterday, he decided he was going to clean my car. Very sweet. Except when I suggested that, instead, he spend actual time with me, he couldn't change course. It was visibly stressful for him. After all, his mom is coming, and she will see the dirty car. And he needed to spend the rest of the day with Ander.

He has no sense of balance when more than one person is involved. I suspect that if he grew up with a sibling (he has a half sibling, but did not grow up with him), he'd have to know how to balance others into the equation.

Anyhow, I'm glad we won't have an only child. It's not that an only child is so horrible, or anything; it's just that Ander will have to learn compromise, consideration, and balance.


Sunday, May 18, 2008

Good Parents

We went to a kid's birthday party this weekend. Yes, there was cake and toys and all that. But that's not what I am writing about. What impressed me, more than anything, were the parents.

Maybe they were just my sort of parents. I expect, though, that they are more attachment parents than I am. Probably, though this is just a guess, I was the strictest parent there by far. So it's not like I'm writing to commend their parenting styles, because their sytles weren't like the style that works for us.

Instead, I am complementing their parenting QUALITY. Seriously, they were all just great with their kids. They demanded turn-taking and fairness, but without hovering and mandating. Somehow, they managed to make me feel both comfortable than their kids would never bully Ander and get away with it...and comfortable that when Ander bullied their kids (sigh...'cause you knew it would eventually happen), and I didn't let him get away with it, that response would be good enough. There would be no futher expection other than that I do the only thing I can, which is to react appropriately. Plus, they were fun to talk to and very nice people in general.

I was having a rough morning. This weekend, my backache has really flaired up. And being out and about, instead of home, resting, with tylenol and hat packs, does nothing for my back. Add my early morning pukefest right before the party, and was officially feeling like crap. These ladies still made me smile. I especially liked the lady who sent hubby away to find wine. ;)


Friday, May 16, 2008

How Do Other People...

...possibly have time to be pregnant? I had court from 9 until 10. Then I had to return books on pregnancy to the library, pick up maternity clothes from the tailor, pick up my urine from my frig (gross, don't eat at my house ;)), return said urine to the lab in Baton Rouge, get my blood drawn (what a fun, and unexpected, experience...meaning I've suffered through six blood draws/shots/finger pricks this week), and go to THREE pharmacies to find one that could give me something even close to the shots I have been prescribed. In between, I had two half hour phone calls to deal with pressing client issues.

I must give props (again...I seemed pleased with these guys time after time) to the Target pharmacy on Seigen for excellent service and some good advice about where I should allow Alan to stick me on my bum (sounds naughty, but it's not :( ) when he gives me shots.

And I take away props from the driver of the huge truck with the bumper sticker that said, "watch for motorcycles." My mom and dad ride a motorbike, so I'm all about motorcycle safety (as are they, with their daytime only, good weather, speed limit obeying, helmet wearing selves). But how about, Mr. Big Truck, you also watch out for pregnant women driving little Hyundais. Huh, Mr. Big Truck, with your sticker that you clearly ignore?


Thursday, May 15, 2008

I Love Being Pregnant

Damn that Angelina Jolie. Who the heck loves being pregnant?

My fasting blood sugar was high this morning, but my after eating blood sugar was fine. What gives? I also get my first progesterone shot (to stop me from having preterm labor) today. Oh, and I get to carry my pee around in a cooler all day. And pay tons of gas money and pollute the earth by driving back and forth to my doctor's office again today, for the aforementioned shot.

I hope Angelina gets sausage ankles.


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Good News for Kristy...Bad News for Alan

The baby looks perfect on the ultrasound. We even got a 3D ultrasound, which Alan apparently thinks looks horrible. :) No markers for Trisomy 18 at all. Basically, the doctor told us that my risk for Trisomy 18, as a normal 33 year old, was about 1/500. Since I tested at the risk of a 35 year old, my risk was actually 1/250 (about). Of babies who have Trisomy 18, at least 80% have hard or soft markers of certain birth defects on ultrasound. We had ZERO markers!!! That means my risk, at this point, is about 1/1,250...basically, very, very low. He wouldn't rule it out, of course, but he said that's because you can never rule it out, in any pregnancy. But our baby has little chance of having the problem.

And, the part that is good for Kristy and bad for Alan - it's a BOY!!! I'm so relieved. I'm such a better parent to a boy than I think I could ever be to a girl. But Alan really wanted a daughter. Poor Alan.


Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Should This Make Me Mad?

I called my OB nurse today with several questions. Most were sort of procedural, such as how to get a referral to a physical therapist and asking about the progress in faxing my medical records. I also needed an update on my labs. TMI Update - there's protein in my urine, of course, so I need to do a 24 hour urine test. It can mean absolutely nothing, can be the first sign of a kidney infection or gestational diabetes, or a precursor to preclampsia. :(

The last question I threw in just because I was calling anyway. What are the odds of Trisomy 18 that I tested for during my Quad Screen? I have researched it, and the odds for a 35 year old to have Down's are all over the 'net, but no odds are listed anywhere for a 35 year old having Trisomy 18.

The answer? The maternal-fetal specialist will discuss this with me, and they'd rather not discuss it over the phone.

Okay, I can live with that. EXCEPT...the nurse was quick to say to see a maternal fetal specialist right away, "in case" I decide "to terminate." If you can casually discuss termination over the phone, you can give an educated person specific information they ask for regarding odds. It really made me mad, because they were so casual about the word "terminate," but unwilling to answer the follow-up questions that are most natural to ask after hearing that termination could even be an issue. Seriously, if you want to talk about information OUT OF FREAKIN' CONTEXT...sigh...termination was MUCH WORSE to say than any odds, even if they are 50%.

Should I complain? Or am I just oversensitive about this? I feel like I should get information when I ask. I should not have to wait to see a specialist, especially if I'm going to get partial and incomplete information over the phone anyway.


Oh Misty, My Fellow Giftie

I know Misty doesn't always read my blog. But this one's for her, on the occasion of her birth.

I remember in high school, when I thought she was nice, and shy, and far more confident than I. She was nice. And she was a bit shy, though probably not nearly as much as I suspected. She was probably less confident than I thought, but still far more confident than I.

Then there was college. She was independant and self-sufficient, in my eyes. She would probably say (based on conversations we've had since) that she was a bit co-dependant and unsure and in need of a good friend.

Post-college, she was artsy, and funny, and sweet. Finally, I got my impression of her right!

Happy birthday, Misty.


My Hubby Points Out...

"You do know that you never blogged about Trisomy 18 until this morning, right? It kind of came out of nowhere if a person hadn't spoken with you in person last week." -Husband

I did mention Trisomy 18 in one of my blogs today, didn't I? I took a Quad Screen, and the results came in Friday. I tested at the risk of a 35 year old (instead of the 33 year old I am) for Trisomy 18, a devastating illness that rarely (if ever) results in a surviving baby. Although my levels were only slightly elevated (well, the nurse said "elevated," but in all actuality, they were actually lower than expected, as that is the indicator of Trisomy 18), the doctor's office suggested that I move my level two ultrasound from late next week to tomorrow, to give the maternal fetal specialist a chance to rule out any "soft markers" for the genetic (although not would be the result of a random gene problem) disorder.

The nurse, on Friday, was INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE. She said I should see the maternal fetal specialist right away, in case I decide to "terminate." Um, my risk is still fairly low. Honestly, it's low enough that if I wasn't already high risk, they probably wouldn't even follow-up on this. Also, I would not terminate. She's usually a good nurse, but I will need to talk to the doctor about this. It's not that I don't think termination of a pregnancy should be mentioned to a woman who is diagnosed with Trisomy 18 (as the baby will not survive anyway and there are serious risks of continuing the pregnancy to the mother), but to tell me that ON THE PHONE WHEN MY RISK IS STILL FAIRLY LOW was a mistake.

Anyway, I was devastated, as you might imagine. Friday was pretty tough for me. I kept myself busy all weekend. I'm trying to work today, but it'll come as no surprise that I've gotten very little done. First the miscarriage, and now this. So I'm freakin' out, a little.

Tomorrow, we find out the gender and check for soft markers. If there are no soft markers, that doesn't rule out Trisomy 18 (nothing but an amnio can rule that out in any pregnancy, even one where the woman tests normal on her Quad Screen), but it would be a really, really good sign. If there is a soft marker, then we would be recommended to do an amnio. I don't think I'll do one (as most stats suggest that the risk of amnio-induced miscarriage of a healthy baby is higher than actual risk of Trisomy 18, and there's nothing that can be done about Trisomy 18 anyway), but I'll need to talk to the specialist before deciding.

So tomorrow has suddenly become a really big day. Not just a boy/girl determination day, but a "will my baby survive" day. If I've been sharp with any of you or distracted, it's not personal. I'm just going through a lot right now. I guess I didn't think about that I hadn't blogged about it. :(


BMI and Boobies

There is this horrible commercial that comes on the radio on a New Orleans station I listen to sometimes. It features husbands, talking about how great it is that their wives got a breast enhancement.

I appreciate the value of a kick butt body. When I was working out, and my BMI moved from obese to overweight (yippee!...and I'll never truly be normal weight, as I wasn't even when I was skinny...I'm just too muscular and curvy to fit on the chart), I loved my body. I felt like I could do anything. Now that I am pregnant, and my BMI has jumped back up to borderline (although it's frozen there...and I should gain more but cannot manage to), I'm scared. Scared of being fat. Scared my boobies will droop even more. (Is that really possible?) Scared of not feeling like I can do anything.

I don't even oppose boob jobs. Personally, I'd love a reduction and lift. I probably would never take the risk of surgery, but given the torturous level of back pain I am currently experiencing, I'll never say never. And if you have no boobies, I can understand the desire to fit clothes properly.

What I oppose, I guess, is the presumption in the commercial that boob jobs are for the husbands. Um, no. When I worked out, I'm sure Alan enjoyed the effects. But the only part of working out that was for him was the part where I live longer for him. The body...that was for me!

Selfish? Heck yah! But husband gets the boobs he gets. And if he ever thought otherwise, even for a second, I'd be raging mad. :)


Tomorrow's The Day

I don't know how I'll make it through the day. Tomorrow is the big ultrasound. I need to call my nurse this morning and make sure she took care of sending my medical records and Quad Screen. Tomorrow, assuming open legs, we find out the gender. Tomorrow, we find out if there are soft markers for Trisomy 18, and, if so, decide whether to have an amnio. I think it's going to come down to stats. If my chance of miscarriage is higher than the chance of Trisomy 18, I will likely decline one. But Alan and I are both people who do better armed with tons of knowledge, so I can't say anything for sure. I'm so nervous that I am afraid I won't sleep all night tonight. Ander is staying with my mom, since our appointment is at the crack of dawn (okay, people, 8 a.m. is the crack of dawn to me) in the morning.

If we find out the gender, and it's clearly correct, we'll share. If there's doubt, we won't. And we don't share the name until birth...not that we have one. Of course, we always welcome name suggestions...especially as we don't have a name yet. Sigh.

Pray, wish, or do whatever it is you do that everything is okay.


Monday, May 12, 2008

Mommy Sacrifices

When you become a mom, you know you are going to have to make sacrifices. You will get a lot less sleep. Baths suddenly take all of 3 minutes, if you are very, very lucky. You change diapers. While Days of Our Lives in on tv, you're watching Clifford, The Big Red Dog.

But no one tells you that your two year old will eat half your beloved boiled crawfish. The boiled crawfish that you peeled. That was a rare treat, since hubby won't bring crawfish into the home. The crawfish that was leftover from your MOTHER'S DAY dinner.

Darn Cajun blood.


Friday, May 9, 2008

Salaries For Moms

Because of Mother's Day weekend, several news stations are reporting a mother's "actual worth." They calculate a yearly salary based on things like time spent as a housekeeper, a psychologist, and a nurse.

I think it's just silly.

Your salary is what a person is willing to pay you. Right now, no one is willing to pay moms, or involved dads, much. I almost think it's insulting to moms to talk about how much you should earn based on what you do for your family. For the same reason, Ander's allowance (intended to teach him how to budget/spend money) will not be connected to his chores (an UNPAID service to his family that is expected and required). I do not work for my family for money. I would not work for my family for money. I only earn money because I have to - you know, to eat and stuff.

I wish news programs would, instead of focusing on money, focus on the advantages to society if laws changed to help families. Give woman and men time off to raise children. Make work hours flexible, so families can come first. Make it easy for mom to breastfeed and work. Make it easy for dad to take off early for the soccer game or the school play. Encourage people to reproduce responsibly, so that we can build our future now.


Thursday, May 8, 2008

My Loyal Readers

It's time I get to know who you are. Your likes. Your dislikes. What makes you sad, angry, happy, high.

So post a comment. You can tell us something fairly anonymous about yourself (like how unsmelly your socks are) or something more informative (3 kids, a dog, and liking long walks in the mall). Whatever. I just need insight.


I Am Feeling Better

I swear that I am! Just ignore the lack of appetite and the occasional (meaning again this morning) vomiting. Or, and the sometimes knife in my back. But my doctor (kindly, and well-meaning, I'm certain) assures me that will resolve itself by the time I deliver. I can get PT, but I frankly don't have time for PT. The pain is severe, but it's about once a day for 20 seconds. PT is twice a week, involving two hours of going to and from the office and having a PT session.

There are these chipper pregnant women I see sometimes who never complain. H-A-T-E T-H-E-M. Hate 'em. Just FYI.


One Word Answers Only

1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Where is your significant other? work
3. Your hair? frizzy
4. Your mother? babysitting
5. Your father? work
6. Your favorite thing? laptop
7. Your dream last night? faith
8. Your dream/goal? time
9. The room you're in? office
10. Your fear? horses
11. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy
12. Where were you last night? home
13. Something you're not? calm
14. Muffins? Yuck
15. One of your wish list items? purse
16. Where you grew up? logs
17. The last thing you did? call
18. What are you wearing? maternity
19. Your TV? off
20. Your pet? none
21. Your computer? sweet
22. Your life? moderate
23. Your mood? impatient
24. Missing someone? Alan
25. Your car/truck? parked
26. Something you're not wearing? pumps
27. Your summer? hot
28. Love someone? Box
29. Your favorite color? red
30. When is the last time you laughed? Ander
31. Last time you cried? recent
32. Who will resend this? readers


A Little Too Perceptive

I walked into the kitchen this morning and turned on the news. I started to turn on my computer, when I heard a quiet little, "Good monring, mommy."

"Oh, hi Ander. Mommy didn't see you. Did daddy get you out of bed already?"

"Out my crib. I not want in my crib. I wake up."

"Well, Mommy has a secret. Soon, not yet but soon, you'll get the sleep in the big boy bed."

"Ander big boy bed?" Pauses (I swear it was for effect.) "Baby in crib?"

Now, how the heck did he know the baby would get the crib? We are carefully planning to move him in early July (as soon as Alan's crazy overtime ends) so he won't relate his new bed to losing the crib to the baby. Darnit.


Wednesday, May 7, 2008

We All Judge

In my lists of shared blogs (on this site in the gutter), I shared a link to an article about parents judging other parents. It's not important that you read the link. (I'm too lazy to ever read links; I just cannot expect from my loyal readers something I don't expect from myself.) But I do agree with the author about judging other parents.

In essence, she says that judging is something all parents do. I do, I do!!! {waves hand in air} I totally judge parents whose kids run wild in public places. I judge parents who defend their kids when they know their kids are doing wrong. I judge parents who think their kids' wants (not needs) are top priority, even to the point of being rude to others. I judge parents who disenfrachise dads. (I try to keep in mind, while judging, that this might be a one-time thing. For example, Office Depot once pissed my sister off by not sendiing a very important package she had paid them to deliver, and after bad customer service, she brought her toddler and preschooler to the store and let them run wild on the desk chairs. Really funny. :) If I didn't know the story, I'd judge. Instead, I appreciate the justice. I also don't share my judgment with that parent. Parents have enough stress, even if they are mucking everything up.)

The author also talks about how there are some things she tries desperately not to judge - like how parents feed their kids or give birth. I agree. Want to schedule a c-section at 37 weeks? You won't see me doing that without a good medical reason (and there are few good medical reasons at 37 weeks), but you won't see me lecturing the mommy about the risks, either. Think breastfeeding is just gross and won't consider it? I think breastfeeding is good for babies. But what you'll hear from me is "you have to do what works for you and your family."

Why the difference?

Frankly, your c-section or breastfeeding or other medically-related decisions are entitled a higher respect for your privacy. It's so important that the right is implicitly in our constitution. It's important to me to respect whatever decisions parents make regarding nurishment (sp?) and hospitals, in part because I expect my decisions respected. You don't like I strict I am with Ander? So what. Shrug. That's an opinion and you really cannot change my behavior. You don't like that I gave him formula? Well, that's a big deal. You might lobby the government to outlaw formula. My child would have died without it. That's just a bigger deal. People's medical decisions are sacrosanct. (sp? again...sigh) You'd better not touch those, or I'll be up in arms, fighting for WHICHEVER side needs it. I don't believe home birth should be chosen, but you can bet your arse that I'd represent (for a reasonable fee, of course...a girl's gotta eat) someone suing for her right to a home birth. My opinion (anti-home birthing) is not a judgment. It doesn't carry the weight and consequences of a judgment. It's an opinion. That is all. I'd still fight for your right to do it.

IMHO, that's the difference.

To go over the rules I *try* to live by:
1. I don't judge medical decisions, even where I have an opinion.
2. I do judge parents raising their kids in a way I don't approve of. I still don't act on those judgments, because it's still not my business.

Are these too vague? Too mushy? Don't quite make sense. Ah, well. Shrug. Probably.

Now tell your kid not to bring that book, sit on my (random stranger) lap at the bookstore, and read the book to me. I don't like touching strange kids. You need to tell your child not to touch strangers. I need to watch me own child, and can't do that with your little hellion (sp? {rolls eyes at self})on my lap. Crazy, weird lady with a crazy, weird child...(Don't worry, loyal readers, the lady I am judging, a real person, is not reading this blog. ;))


Tuesday, May 6, 2008

How Sweet

I was assigned to a pretty tough juvenile case recently. It's not that the kid did anything so terrible, but he was kicked out of school, so there was no place to put him but jail. Sigh. Can I say Louisiana needs to work on it's juvenile justice system? Anyway, I worked out something that I knew the assistant DA, the judge, the kid, and the parents would be happy with. Yesterday, we heard the case. Everything went well and everyone left satisfied, including the kid and the victim (which is, of course, important).

The kid's mom just dropped by my office with flowers for me. :) That was so touching!


This Morning...

The jury trial should go away. If so, I can actually get work done the rest of the week. About time.

I have to see a maternal-fetal specialist. That's where I get my big sonogram. They have limited appointments, and Alan can only go to appointments on Friday mornings, so he likely won't be able to go to the sonogram. He takes off whenever he can, but he's in charge of things going on with the legislature. It sucks, especially for him. (As long as everything goes right, it's okay for me. Not great, but I'll survive.)


Monday, May 5, 2008

Sex Ed

I've vigorously started teaching Ander about his body parts, and mommy's body parts, and the difference between boys and girls. We use the real names, but use of nicknames is acceptable in my home, too. For now, if he says "penis" randomly and in public, I'll just laugh. Eventually, I'll teach him that conversations about private parts are saved for appropriate times and places. (Okay in sex ed class or asking mommy a question, but not okay with your classmate at school.)

Alan seems to be dealing with the names of body parts okay.

But, whoa, he freaks out when mommy tells Ander what the parts do. :) I explained that Ander gets his milk from the frig, but babies get milk from a bottle or mommy's boobies. (I taught breasts, too, but Ander uses the word boobies for whatever reason.) Ander asked if daddy had a baby. No, only girls can have a baby, and only after they are grown-ups. (I know there are exceptions, but he's just not ready to appreciate them, yet.) But daddies don't have babies?

So I answered, honestly. Only mommies can have a baby. But boys have a penis. A penis can be used to pee pee, or, when you are grown up, to help a mommy make a baby.

I don't think he understands that yet, of course. But it's true, and a fair thing to say.

Alan thinks I tell him too much. (He doesn't think it so hard that he argues or stops me. Instead, he just rolls his eyes.)

I always wonder why more parents don't just tell their kids the truth about body parts and what they do. I hope, of course, that it's many, many years before Ander uses his parts for anything other than pee pee. (But if the pee pee gods could please intervene and make him want to pee pee in the toilet, the intervention would be much appreciated. Thanks so much, pee pee gods.) But I don't see how keeping the fact that penises are involved in baby-making helps him. After all, should he hear it for the first time from his fifth-grade classmate? Or not hear it at all, and accidentally make a baby? Or, the worse scenario I can imagine, think that daddies have no role in making their babies? No, that would be wrong.


I Can Hope

I have a jury trial on Wednesday. I hope/think/wish it will settle. I am ready, of course, should I need to go to trial, but I sure could use those two extra days at the office, working.

I focused on organizing the house a bit this weekend. Nothing big, but I picked up here and there. The island is getting clearer, but still has some unstored stuff on it. Same thing on the counters in the living room. My aching back was a bit better on Sunday, but hurt again on Sunday night. So I'm trying to catch up, but I still have to take it easy.


Sunday, May 4, 2008

Calendar Dilemma

I think I'm going to have to break down and sync my Palm with Outlook. :( I love Palm desktop, but all handhelds are moving to Outlook and my pda is dying. I guess I'll just replace it with the cheapest pda I can that syncs with Outlook, but I'm not happy about it.


Saturday, May 3, 2008

Watching Juno

K - "I want to look cute like that."

A - "You did when you were 16." (bold added for emphasis)

Men suck.


Ander Learns To Spell

Despite our best efforts, he has not learned to spell A-n-d-e-r or T-i-g-e-r-s. But he's mastered the proper spelling - and usage - of the word "brat."

Ander's Brat Video


Stupid E-mail

I pay for my e-mail program through Go Daddy. This is important, since I am a professional and need my e-mail to arrive when and where it is supposed to.

You know that junk mail you get from the "Prince of Albania" asking for your assistance and overseas bank account? My e-mail is usually great about getting those e-mails to my spam folder.

Except today, when it didn't.

Why did one e-mail get through, when none of the others did?

Anyway, I've "spam analyzed" it, so hopefully my e-mail learned something. We shall see.


Friday, May 2, 2008

There's Still A Heartbeat

I am one exhausted mommy. The sharp back pains continued throughout the night (and, in fact, are still continuing, although Tylenol at least let me sleep some). The doctor let Ander hear the heartbeat. His eyes got wide...and he said, "that baby in mommy's tummy." He he. My doctor was really nice to him.

The sharp pain is more likely a muscle than a kidney, which is great news for my health and the pregnancy, but sucky news pain-wise, as there's little they can do. I'm to do physical therapy, take it easy, and have Tylenol. He offered harder stuff, but in my line of work, you only take harder stuff if you need to. ;) I do have a few other little problems, so I am off (after Ander let me sleep for 1 1/2 hours..."don't worry, Mommy, I watch Superwhy") to fill my script.

My sister had her first appointment, at 11 weeks, and brought home pictures from the sonogram. We met up for lunch (because her husband had to go back to school after the appointment) and then went to my BIL's hospital room with food for him and my sister, because he had surgery on his neck this morning. He's feeling fine.


Thursday, May 1, 2008

Stac Carp's Scattergories Meme

TV SHOW: Kangaroo, Captain
CITY: Kansas City
FOOD: Kaiser Rolls
SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: Ketchup (hey, I have a 2 year old)


Spent The Day NOT At Work

I felt great when I woke up. I actually didn't puke. Today's the day I check my blood sugar, so I couldn't eat until I found my blood sugar machine. I couldn't find it anywhere. Eventually, I did, but in the rush to find it so I could eat, I must have set my cell phone down. I ended up at the office without it. Also, I ended up not eating.

That was fine. I missed 8 calls during the day (and have avoided checking voicemail ever since).

But I still hadn't eaten. And I couldn't. I started to have tightness that felt like contractions, only without the uncontracting part. Then, at 10 a.m., I spontaneously threw up. Now, I've been tossing cookies almost daily...but not like this. This was sudden and without the green of pregnancy.

By 2 p.m., the pain in my back had become a stabbing pain. Like a knife in my lower back. Plus, other symptoms started, like peeing and burning. Fun.

I really would have went to the hospital, but I see my doctor at 10 a.m. And the last time I thought I had a bladder or kidney infection (I'm afraid it's probably kidney-related), the doc said, "no, you're just pregnant."

So I sat at my mom's, almost crying and grabbing my back. I feel like crap. Tomorrow, I'd better get drugs for this. ;)