Little Things

It seems like the little things (and the big things, like hospital stays, when you really think about it) are always slowing me down.

Take this morning as an example.

I slept in until 8:30ish (except for waking twice to nurse the baby). Sounds lovely, right? Then I reflect on the fact that I couldn't sleep last night, despite exhaustion, because Loki was coughing and fussy and Alan was so tired and I was nervous and watching Loki until almost 1 a.m., despite not sleeping all of Monday and Tuesday night because of the hospital and all of Wednesday and Thursday night because of the sick baby.

Ander joined us in bed and cuddled. Then we woke for the day. I got dressed and ready to leave to work at a coffee shop. But Alan wants to that a bath and cut his hair before I go. If that happens, I won't have just nursed Loki (which means having to pump). The boys will be ready for a nap when Alan gets home. And I won't get home early enough to make a chili. But Alan really needs a haircut. It sucks all around.

I leave for said coffee shop. I stop to get desperately needed gas. The pumps say pay inside. I go toward inside. The door stops me. It's locked. The gas station is out of power (despite lights being on) and is closed. Of course, it's on the wrong side of the interstate.

Despite leaving the house at 9 a.m., I arrive at the coffee shop (the closest one to my house with tables to work at is at Perkins and Bluebonnet...many, many minutes away) at 10 a.m. Blah!

It's traffic jams and spilled drinks and potty incidents and closed gas stations and a thousand other little, unpredictable things that slow me down.

It suckith mightily.

Etcetera.

Scariest Moment EVER

Yesterday afternoon, Loki was sleeping peacefully after a fitful day. I was sitting next to him, chatting on the phone with a friend. Suddenly, he went pale and limp. He wasn't breathing.

You cannot imagine the level at which I freaked out.

We are in the hospital today and still on lots of oxygen, but Loki really does seem fine. He is maintaining his oxygen at 100% (yippee!!!), nursing fine, and flirting with the nurses. They will start to wean him from oxygen today (in fact, they just turned it down) and then, once he goes 12 to 24 hours with no supplemental oxygen, he can go home.

At this point, they think he has a virus (not RSV, though). He has a bit of cloudy spots on his lungs, probably a bit of pneumonia. In addition, they did test for whooping cough and we won't have results for 72 hours from the test (which means no kiddo visitors). Apparently, despite vaccines, Louisiana has seen a big increase in whooping cough.

It's such a relief that Loki is pulling on all his tubes and laughing and playing (and fussing at us for putting him in his cage). He seems fine.

Thanks for all the positive thoughts and prayers.

Etcetera.

Loki Goes To The Doctor

Loki's been having a little cough since Friday, but has been fine and happy. Honestly, I thought it was almost gone.

Last night, I heard him cough quite a bit. This morning, when I went to nurse him, I noticed he was gasping every now and then. He was struggling to get air. Then, after he nursed, he vomited it all. That happened again (and everytime since), so at 8 a.m., I called the doctor.

He has a spot on his lungs (but no fluid, so not diagnosed with pneumonia, yet) and a low oxygen level (around 94) that was fixed with a breathing treatment. The doctor will recheck on Wednesday to make sure he doesn't have to go to the hospital. Of course, if it gets worse and better better, we go in before then.

Since we left the doctor, he is coughing and still struggling to breath, but happier now that we are home. I've never seen any of my kids this sick. It was/is really scary.

He can't eat without vomiting. The peditrician said to try to nurse inside of weaning to bottles this week (even though that will up production again - sigh) so he can get small amounts and not overeat and vomit. Still, he eats for only a couple of minutes and then upchucks. At least we still have wet (barely) diapers.

Also, no daycare allowed this week. Fabulous, really. I have a ton of work, have to nurse every two to three hours, give breathing treatments every four to six hours, watch a three year old, and work from home. Gre-ate. But it's better than the hospital.

Etcetera.

Saturday Afternoons Suck

Alan and the boys can sleep for up to four hours on a lazy Saturday afternoon. They crashed around 2 p.m. and sleep until almost 6 p.m. I don't mind a quick nap, but then I am up.

I can't really clean up, because the noise will wake the baby. And with Alan sleeping, I'd then be watching a cranky baby.

I can't watch tv, because Saturday tv sucks.

I get bored and lonely. Sometimes we go out on Saturday night, but that's pretty rare. Sometimes I sleep, but I'm not by nature a napper, so that doesn't last long. And then they are wide awake, and I'm cranky from my half-nap sleep. Plus, Alan wants to do all the chores on Sunday, because he sleeps Saturday away.

That makes Sunday suck, too.

So much for the weekend.

Etcetera.

To Wean Or Not To Wean

Loki will be 7 months old on the 19th. He has two teeth, and more certainly on the way, but no biting so far. He is communciating a little. He does the milk sign sporadically. He shakes his head "no" when you tell him "no no." He definitely knows how to get what he wants.

I was planning to be WAY DONE nursing by now. I don't enjoy it. I have a freezer full of milk. If I had kept pumping like I was, and weaned today, I'd have enough milk to last through one year old.

However...

I was a slacker about pumping for the last month and a half. I literally only pump if I miss three bottles in a day, which only happens if Loki spends the night away. Which happened, oh, maybe once. So now I have plenty of milk to supplement two bottles a day until one year, but that's about it.

I have weaned out about two feedings a day on weekdays. He gets frozen milk in a bottle. On the weekends, I mostly nurse the whole time. My dilemma is whether to wean another feeding. (I have to wean slowly, because I get infections very easily.) If I do, I won't have enough milk to last until one year. And if I pump, there's no point in weaning (for my body). But if I don't, how do I wean slowly without going past a year old, which I am really not wanting to do? Honestly, I am wishing I was already weaned. I planned to be, but my body is struggling so much and not cooperating. I still have overproduction, even just nursing morning, after work, and evening.

Do I pump? Do I not?

Ugh. This is not supposed to be so complicated.

Etcetera.

You'd Think I Could Leave The Stinkin' House...

...without forgeting essential items. I seriously need a checklist. Purse. Cell. Keys. (Okay, I usually remember keys. Well, when I drive, I remember keys. Sigh.) Diaper bag. Actual diapers, wipes, baby food, change of clothes - sometimes. Pump and/or defrosted milk. Ice packs for milk. My lunch. My work bag.

I have a set place for everything. But I forget things that are in the frig, or the freezer, or not put to go out. Sigh. One day, I'll forget the kids. It will be very embarrassing.

I'm only 34. Memory lost? Dementia? Exhaustion?

Hmmm.

Stay tuned for a blog about gentle weaning, coming soon. (Brien, that warning was for you.)

Etcetera.