Yesterday afternoon, Loki was sleeping peacefully after a fitful day. I was sitting next to him, chatting on the phone with a friend. Suddenly, he went pale and limp. He wasn't breathing.
You cannot imagine the level at which I freaked out.
We are in the hospital today and still on lots of oxygen, but Loki really does seem fine. He is maintaining his oxygen at 100% (yippee!!!), nursing fine, and flirting with the nurses. They will start to wean him from oxygen today (in fact, they just turned it down) and then, once he goes 12 to 24 hours with no supplemental oxygen, he can go home.
At this point, they think he has a virus (not RSV, though). He has a bit of cloudy spots on his lungs, probably a bit of pneumonia. In addition, they did test for whooping cough and we won't have results for 72 hours from the test (which means no kiddo visitors). Apparently, despite vaccines, Louisiana has seen a big increase in whooping cough.
It's such a relief that Loki is pulling on all his tubes and laughing and playing (and fussing at us for putting him in his cage). He seems fine.
Thanks for all the positive thoughts and prayers.
Etcetera.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Loki Goes To The Doctor
Loki's been having a little cough since Friday, but has been fine and happy. Honestly, I thought it was almost gone.
Last night, I heard him cough quite a bit. This morning, when I went to nurse him, I noticed he was gasping every now and then. He was struggling to get air. Then, after he nursed, he vomited it all. That happened again (and everytime since), so at 8 a.m., I called the doctor.
He has a spot on his lungs (but no fluid, so not diagnosed with pneumonia, yet) and a low oxygen level (around 94) that was fixed with a breathing treatment. The doctor will recheck on Wednesday to make sure he doesn't have to go to the hospital. Of course, if it gets worse and better better, we go in before then.
Since we left the doctor, he is coughing and still struggling to breath, but happier now that we are home. I've never seen any of my kids this sick. It was/is really scary.
He can't eat without vomiting. The peditrician said to try to nurse inside of weaning to bottles this week (even though that will up production again - sigh) so he can get small amounts and not overeat and vomit. Still, he eats for only a couple of minutes and then upchucks. At least we still have wet (barely) diapers.
Also, no daycare allowed this week. Fabulous, really. I have a ton of work, have to nurse every two to three hours, give breathing treatments every four to six hours, watch a three year old, and work from home. Gre-ate. But it's better than the hospital.
Etcetera.
Last night, I heard him cough quite a bit. This morning, when I went to nurse him, I noticed he was gasping every now and then. He was struggling to get air. Then, after he nursed, he vomited it all. That happened again (and everytime since), so at 8 a.m., I called the doctor.
He has a spot on his lungs (but no fluid, so not diagnosed with pneumonia, yet) and a low oxygen level (around 94) that was fixed with a breathing treatment. The doctor will recheck on Wednesday to make sure he doesn't have to go to the hospital. Of course, if it gets worse and better better, we go in before then.
Since we left the doctor, he is coughing and still struggling to breath, but happier now that we are home. I've never seen any of my kids this sick. It was/is really scary.
He can't eat without vomiting. The peditrician said to try to nurse inside of weaning to bottles this week (even though that will up production again - sigh) so he can get small amounts and not overeat and vomit. Still, he eats for only a couple of minutes and then upchucks. At least we still have wet (barely) diapers.
Also, no daycare allowed this week. Fabulous, really. I have a ton of work, have to nurse every two to three hours, give breathing treatments every four to six hours, watch a three year old, and work from home. Gre-ate. But it's better than the hospital.
Etcetera.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Saturday Afternoons Suck
Alan and the boys can sleep for up to four hours on a lazy Saturday afternoon. They crashed around 2 p.m. and sleep until almost 6 p.m. I don't mind a quick nap, but then I am up.
I can't really clean up, because the noise will wake the baby. And with Alan sleeping, I'd then be watching a cranky baby.
I can't watch tv, because Saturday tv sucks.
I get bored and lonely. Sometimes we go out on Saturday night, but that's pretty rare. Sometimes I sleep, but I'm not by nature a napper, so that doesn't last long. And then they are wide awake, and I'm cranky from my half-nap sleep. Plus, Alan wants to do all the chores on Sunday, because he sleeps Saturday away.
That makes Sunday suck, too.
So much for the weekend.
Etcetera.
I can't really clean up, because the noise will wake the baby. And with Alan sleeping, I'd then be watching a cranky baby.
I can't watch tv, because Saturday tv sucks.
I get bored and lonely. Sometimes we go out on Saturday night, but that's pretty rare. Sometimes I sleep, but I'm not by nature a napper, so that doesn't last long. And then they are wide awake, and I'm cranky from my half-nap sleep. Plus, Alan wants to do all the chores on Sunday, because he sleeps Saturday away.
That makes Sunday suck, too.
So much for the weekend.
Etcetera.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
To Wean Or Not To Wean
Loki will be 7 months old on the 19th. He has two teeth, and more certainly on the way, but no biting so far. He is communciating a little. He does the milk sign sporadically. He shakes his head "no" when you tell him "no no." He definitely knows how to get what he wants.
I was planning to be WAY DONE nursing by now. I don't enjoy it. I have a freezer full of milk. If I had kept pumping like I was, and weaned today, I'd have enough milk to last through one year old.
However...
I was a slacker about pumping for the last month and a half. I literally only pump if I miss three bottles in a day, which only happens if Loki spends the night away. Which happened, oh, maybe once. So now I have plenty of milk to supplement two bottles a day until one year, but that's about it.
I have weaned out about two feedings a day on weekdays. He gets frozen milk in a bottle. On the weekends, I mostly nurse the whole time. My dilemma is whether to wean another feeding. (I have to wean slowly, because I get infections very easily.) If I do, I won't have enough milk to last until one year. And if I pump, there's no point in weaning (for my body). But if I don't, how do I wean slowly without going past a year old, which I am really not wanting to do? Honestly, I am wishing I was already weaned. I planned to be, but my body is struggling so much and not cooperating. I still have overproduction, even just nursing morning, after work, and evening.
Do I pump? Do I not?
Ugh. This is not supposed to be so complicated.
Etcetera.
I was planning to be WAY DONE nursing by now. I don't enjoy it. I have a freezer full of milk. If I had kept pumping like I was, and weaned today, I'd have enough milk to last through one year old.
However...
I was a slacker about pumping for the last month and a half. I literally only pump if I miss three bottles in a day, which only happens if Loki spends the night away. Which happened, oh, maybe once. So now I have plenty of milk to supplement two bottles a day until one year, but that's about it.
I have weaned out about two feedings a day on weekdays. He gets frozen milk in a bottle. On the weekends, I mostly nurse the whole time. My dilemma is whether to wean another feeding. (I have to wean slowly, because I get infections very easily.) If I do, I won't have enough milk to last until one year. And if I pump, there's no point in weaning (for my body). But if I don't, how do I wean slowly without going past a year old, which I am really not wanting to do? Honestly, I am wishing I was already weaned. I planned to be, but my body is struggling so much and not cooperating. I still have overproduction, even just nursing morning, after work, and evening.
Do I pump? Do I not?
Ugh. This is not supposed to be so complicated.
Etcetera.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
You'd Think I Could Leave The Stinkin' House...
...without forgeting essential items. I seriously need a checklist. Purse. Cell. Keys. (Okay, I usually remember keys. Well, when I drive, I remember keys. Sigh.) Diaper bag. Actual diapers, wipes, baby food, change of clothes - sometimes. Pump and/or defrosted milk. Ice packs for milk. My lunch. My work bag.
I have a set place for everything. But I forget things that are in the frig, or the freezer, or not put to go out. Sigh. One day, I'll forget the kids. It will be very embarrassing.
I'm only 34. Memory lost? Dementia? Exhaustion?
Hmmm.
Stay tuned for a blog about gentle weaning, coming soon. (Brien, that warning was for you.)
Etcetera.
I have a set place for everything. But I forget things that are in the frig, or the freezer, or not put to go out. Sigh. One day, I'll forget the kids. It will be very embarrassing.
I'm only 34. Memory lost? Dementia? Exhaustion?
Hmmm.
Stay tuned for a blog about gentle weaning, coming soon. (Brien, that warning was for you.)
Etcetera.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
If My Child Was Gay...
I've been thinking about a scenario where one of my boys grows up to discover he is gay. I've been thinking about it for a couple of reasons. One is that a relative made a racist remark about my son potentially marrying a minority, and my natural comeback was that Ander can marry who he wants to marry, regardless of race or gender. Admittedly, I was aiming for a bit of shock factor to make my relative think. The other reason is that Iowa, not exactly a liberal area, just had a court allow gay marriage.
I don't suspect most parents hope their child is gay. I imagine that if I had to deal with the struggles most committed gay couples have to deal with, I would not wish those struggles on my own child, even if I were gay myself. The closest (although not perfect) analogy I can think of is what it must have been like having daughters in the late 70s and 80s - daughters of my generation. Women were making strides towards equality, but boys had an easier road than girls to high paying employment and powerful jobs. It's not that parents didn't want daughters, but they must have worried for their daugthers. That's sort of how I feel about if one of my sons is gay. I would worry for him, but strive to give him the tools and the strength to deal with the challenges society creates.
That said, if one of my boys "comes out of the closet" (and I hope it would not be such a big deal as that, really, because my boys will know that they will have parental support and guidance), I want him to be able to have a family and a committed relationship. I want him to have the joys - and, maybe even more importantly, the RESPONSIBILITIES - of raising children, nuturing a lifelong adult relationship, and participating in the community.
If my child turns out to be gay, I want him to be able to assume NOT ONLY the fun parts of marriage - sex, companionship, shared resources - but the responsibilties as well, including financial commitments, living his promises, and being there for someone other than himself.
Why would society not want that? For me, gay marriage isn't about a privilege. It's not about the Constitution (although there is a strong legal argument for it being a Constitutional right). For me, gay marriage, like all marriage, is about responsibility. Committed relationships are good for families, good for societies, and good for individuals. I'm going to support the opportunity for adult individuals to make that commitment, because I never know if my own kids will need the gift of marriage available to them.
Etcetera.
I don't suspect most parents hope their child is gay. I imagine that if I had to deal with the struggles most committed gay couples have to deal with, I would not wish those struggles on my own child, even if I were gay myself. The closest (although not perfect) analogy I can think of is what it must have been like having daughters in the late 70s and 80s - daughters of my generation. Women were making strides towards equality, but boys had an easier road than girls to high paying employment and powerful jobs. It's not that parents didn't want daughters, but they must have worried for their daugthers. That's sort of how I feel about if one of my sons is gay. I would worry for him, but strive to give him the tools and the strength to deal with the challenges society creates.
That said, if one of my boys "comes out of the closet" (and I hope it would not be such a big deal as that, really, because my boys will know that they will have parental support and guidance), I want him to be able to have a family and a committed relationship. I want him to have the joys - and, maybe even more importantly, the RESPONSIBILITIES - of raising children, nuturing a lifelong adult relationship, and participating in the community.
If my child turns out to be gay, I want him to be able to assume NOT ONLY the fun parts of marriage - sex, companionship, shared resources - but the responsibilties as well, including financial commitments, living his promises, and being there for someone other than himself.
Why would society not want that? For me, gay marriage isn't about a privilege. It's not about the Constitution (although there is a strong legal argument for it being a Constitutional right). For me, gay marriage, like all marriage, is about responsibility. Committed relationships are good for families, good for societies, and good for individuals. I'm going to support the opportunity for adult individuals to make that commitment, because I never know if my own kids will need the gift of marriage available to them.
Etcetera.