The Submissive Wife | Giftie Etcetera: The Submissive Wife

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Submissive Wife

Title got your attention? Ha.

I'm not the submissive sort. (Oh, you hadn't noticed?) I was reading tabloid junk about Jon and Kate Plus 8 (yes, that's the sort I am...sad, isn't it) and the author of the tabloid article joked that Kate would announce that she was becoming a submissive wife, as explained in a book by the title The Submissive Wife. I clicked the wikipedia link and got sucked in.

I'm also reading a book called Eve (copyright 2009, about the first woman), so the topic is popping up in my life lately. (Good book, so far. Worth reading.)

I never quite understand a relationship where the wife (or either spouse) is submissive. The freedom in not having to make decisions or have the primary responsibility? I get that. I MAYBE could understand that.

The part I can't understand, frankly, is wanting a submissive wife in your life. What Alan and I have, the sharing of responsibility, is so important. I couldn't possibly take it all on myself. Neither could he. We are better people because we act as a team. Sure, there are areas where I make most or all of the decisions. And there are areas where he does. But those divisions are because of our strengths, weaknesses, and interests - not our genders.

I know I have friends where the husband is clearly head of the household. I have friends in such relationships where it doesn't work (because husband is a power-hungry dictator) and friends where it does work (because husband respects his wife and treats her kindly). But I just can't imagine the draw to such a relationship. I can't envision why one would be a part of such a relationship. I can't imagine that it's a stronger relationship than equality.

Etcetera.

2 comments:

EBeth said...

I don't like Jon and Kate plus 8 for this exact reason. What they show on TV doesn't look like a marriage of equals to me.

Mommy to Ander and Loki said...

I think you and P are an excellent example of a marriage of equals!