Like A Bug To A Light | Giftie Etcetera: Like A Bug To A Light

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Like A Bug To A Light

...but without the satisfying pop-squish.

I have such bad luck in public places with annoying people approaching me. This morning, a 50ish gentleman was behind me in line at the coffee shop.

Man - How old is your little boy?

What I Should Have Said - 1 year. Excuse me, Mr. Coffeeshop owner, may I have more cream?

What I Said - 17 months.

Apparently, what I said was an invitation.

Man - What's his name?

What I Should Have Said - Ander. I'm sorry, but I have to get back to my work now.

What I Said - Andersen.

Man - Oh, but what did you just call him? Ander? Well, isn't that odd? Like Anderson Cooper? People call him Andy? No? Well, they will, whether you like it or not. You just watch. Andy, hey little fella. Hey Andy.

Man - So what's he going to be when he grows up, a doctor?

What I Should Have Said - I don't know. Sorry, I really have to get back to work.

What I Said - I don't know.

Man - As long as he doesn't become a lawyer.


It went on and on. Apparently, all women politicians are crap. LSU is crap and Tulane is great. If you get in trouble in high school for cheating, you should just stop going to class. In your divorce, you should tell the other lawyer off just for existing. My child was clearly being obnoxious, because he said "please" and "thank you" and that is, just so you know, him "playing" me. Oh, and I shouldn't give him that empty lead pencil and piece of paper so he can be like mommy, because he might poke his eye out and want to become a lawyer. And did I really just feed him cinnamon roll for breakfast? What about fruit? Didn't I think he needed juice in his sippy cup? Wow, am I really going to make him say thank you or not give him more of the cinnamon roll (his second breakfast, BTW)?

I kept turning away and trying to work, and the creepy guy just kept talking to me. There were tons of people in the coffee shop, all working, and they were clearly annoyed by him, too.

Why do I attract crazy people? And why do they think that they are entitled to comment on my parenting? Sigh, sigh, sigh.

I really need to work on the pop-squish.



Mamaebeth said...

i have no idea why people approach you so often. i don't get comments as often as you do.
i don't know if you look approachable or i look unapproachable...

Frog said...

I think some people just look approachable! I haven't experienced it with Tad, but people have always come up to me and talked to me about crazy things!! I'll never forget the time a grown truck driver that delivered to me at work, told me he was getting circumsized. Crazy!!