My husband and I are working on a vacation itinerary. He created one on an Excel spreadsheet (because that's his thing) and gave it to me to review/veto/give input. I put it in Google Calendar, because I need to see the hours spread out on a schedule.
We talked about spending two nights in Denver instead of some other smaller town since the rest of the trip is with family in a smaller town or in the mountains. Also, Denver puts us one hour closer to our final destination, and, on the day we drive to our final destination, we have an early appointment.
He agreed that Denver sounded best (with no debate or anything - it just made sense), so I made the change on Google Calendar and emailed him.
He updated the itinerary. Rather, he SAID he did. He did not change the two days to Denver, because he "couldn't figure out why I did that."
Seriously, y'all, even though he is COMPLETELY on board with Denver, he keeps FORGETTING the discussion.
He is not senile. He has ALWAYS been like this.
Once he sees a path or plan, he cannot deviate from the plan at all.
For example, he takes the same route to work everyday. He knows all the other routes, but if there is an accident or he needs to run an errand, he NEVER deviates from the route. He sits in stopped traffic or he runs the errand and returns to the route, even though it's faster to just drive from the errand to home!
Or he will plan dinner of meatloaf and roasted veggies. If he finds out that I found ribeyes on sale, he still wants to eat the meatloaf and veggies. He cannot deviate from the plan.
Show up at a restaurant with a 45 minute wait? He can't leave the restaurant.
That's weird, right?
I think a real part of his problem is a lack of a day planner.
Paper planners force you to train your brain to remember details and make decisions.
TIP: Write things down, even if it seems like you will remember.
When I decided on Denver with him, I wrote it down. That act sealed the idea of Denver in my mind. Later, when I saw the note, it triggered my memory of the discussion.
He only passively listened. My arguments made sense, so without any angst or memory-creating tension, he agreed.
When I entered Denver, I also made a note to check hotel locations and leisure activities.
He didn't take that step.
Once again, the memory was strengthened in my brain, and in writing, and not in his.
I also am used to deciding between several options. My planner only has so much space. I have to be aware of what I am planning to do, but willing to change the plans if things don't fit. I practice that skill.
TIP: Don't be afraid to change course if something isn't working.
Finally, I make decisions quickly. I have to, in order to put them in my planner. If circumstances change, I change my mind.
He takes his time deciding stuff, but by the time he is done deciding, he is pretty stuck to that point of view.
TIP: Go ahead and make a decision. You aren't stuck with it forever!
All my planning makes it easier for me to handle a change of plans.
Now, if I could just get my husband on board.
Chic on a Shoestring