I was chatting informally with a couple of my 4th grade child's teachers the other day.
They work really hard posting all assignments and grades on a website for parents, but I found myself confessing that I barely even look at their hard work.
After all, I commented, I'm not in charge of my kid's homework and studying. He is in charge of his school work.
I felt a little guilty, but the teachers instantly nodded knowingly.
One of them commented, "you've got to let them fail, or they will never learn."
Now, not every fourth grader is ready for this. I have two very different children, and the other child needs more hand holding and likely will until fifth or sixth grade. But the idea is the same.
At some point, we need to let our children forget their homework, fail a big test, or get a demerit for forgetting school supplies.
Otherwise, they won't learn consequences and responsibility. (And there will be consequences. Don't doubt that!) They won't learn the difference between what happens when you work hard and what happens when you don't put in in the effort.
Remember when your baby was learning to crawl and she tried for a couple of weeks, with scouting and stretching and rolling, and failed every time?
Eventually, she learned that if she moves a certain way, she can grab your cell phone!
Let your kid fail at something. Then, seize that opportunity to teach. I suspect you will make much more of an impression on your child that way.