Is it age that makes me suddenly need a morning cup of coffee? I still drink decaf much of the time, so it's not a caffeine addiction. At least, I don't get headaches if I don't have coffee or anything like that. But I do feel like I must have a cup of coffee, decaf or otherwise, to stay calm and get through my day.
I've always liked coffee, but I never made it at home. And I used to only drink it in the afternoon. I had a coffee pot for when people visited ('cause I live in the South and it's just manners to offer a cup of coffee), but I never used it.
Now, I have my morning cup of coffee. I either get it from the McDonald's drive-through ($1.05)or I make it in my very tiny coffee maker. I like two creams (at McDs) or three teaspoons of creamer (at home) and five Splendas. But I would drink it with just cream or just Splenda. Heck, in a pinch, I would drink it black.
Ander is starting to like it, too. How bad mommy is that? LOL.
Etcetera.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
What Is Wrong With Me
I'm cleaning the house today. (Okay, I've fielded two client calls and pumped once and nursed twice and bottle fed once and changed three diapers and refilled a sippy cup twice and a cereal bowl once and changed the DVD movie twice and made Ander pick up each toy before taking another one out and explain how pliers work and read instructions for putting a truck together and had breakfast and sent an e-mail to my cousins saying that I adore when they offer to keep my kids for the night but I am EXTREMELY SAD TO DECLINE AS WE ALREADY HAVE PLANS AND COULD THEY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ASK AGAIN IN THE NEAR FUTURE...but I'm a mom and that's what mornings are like.)
So, anyway, I'm cleaning the house. I mostly cleaned the stove top. (I had burnt roast gravy onto it, and it will need a second scrubbing, but it's not totally horrible like it was before.) I picked up everything that was out of place in the living room and most of what was out of place in the kitchen and put everything in its proper home.
And then I got inexplicably distracted. I HAD TO clean the little creases in the wooden cabinet doors. I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT RESIST using the hand vac to clean under the edge of the counters and near the fireplace. I was IRRESISTABLY COMPELLED to go through the spoons and pick out any ones with the tiniest of spots and rewash them.
It's lunchtime. I've been cleaning for two hours. And the house isn't much cleaner.
But, damn, the crud is off the cabinet doors. Sigh.
Can you say OCD?
Etcetera.
So, anyway, I'm cleaning the house. I mostly cleaned the stove top. (I had burnt roast gravy onto it, and it will need a second scrubbing, but it's not totally horrible like it was before.) I picked up everything that was out of place in the living room and most of what was out of place in the kitchen and put everything in its proper home.
And then I got inexplicably distracted. I HAD TO clean the little creases in the wooden cabinet doors. I ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT RESIST using the hand vac to clean under the edge of the counters and near the fireplace. I was IRRESISTABLY COMPELLED to go through the spoons and pick out any ones with the tiniest of spots and rewash them.
It's lunchtime. I've been cleaning for two hours. And the house isn't much cleaner.
But, damn, the crud is off the cabinet doors. Sigh.
Can you say OCD?
Etcetera.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Posting From Smartphone
I'm mostly checking to see if I can blog from my phone. Observant readers will notice that it is the middle of the night. It's Loki's first night in his crib, and as such, Mommy is not sleeping one wink.
Etcetera.
Etcetera.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Does Everyone Else Worry All The Time?
It's not like I think I need meds or have anxiety disorcer of some sort. I imagine, in my mind, that everyone worries as much as I do. I used to mostly worry about money. I sort of stopped worrying about money. I made some better choices - cooking at home, carrying a cash allowance, and working on billable work first - and am getting better about money stuff. I still worry a bit, but I don't obsess.
I do obsess about the piles of crap in my house. I have Christmas boxes in the trash, still, because only one broken down box fits in the trash per week. But they drive me crazy. I never put my shoes away. I just throw them in a basket. But the basket drives me crazy. I worry about whether my tires are aired up on my car. I worry about whether I'm spending too much time with my kids (and therefore smothering them with discipline and structure) or too little (and therefore letting them run wild and be lonely). I worry, worry, worry. When I leave work, I think about it. Constantly. I worry about my clients. I worry about the economy. I worry about my husband (who, realistically, seems fine, BTW).
I see others, and I suspect other people aren't like this. I suspect that when they aren't working, they rarely think about work. I suspect that they don't obsess over raising their kids. I suspect that other people relax and enjoy themselves when 5 p.m. comes around.
Instead, I just keep thinking of my alarm clock.
I need a cruise. On a ship. Yep, no meds, no doctors. Just an easy cure of people taking care of everything and no need to go anywhere to get food.
Please, please, please let me win the Powerball.
Etcetera.
I do obsess about the piles of crap in my house. I have Christmas boxes in the trash, still, because only one broken down box fits in the trash per week. But they drive me crazy. I never put my shoes away. I just throw them in a basket. But the basket drives me crazy. I worry about whether my tires are aired up on my car. I worry about whether I'm spending too much time with my kids (and therefore smothering them with discipline and structure) or too little (and therefore letting them run wild and be lonely). I worry, worry, worry. When I leave work, I think about it. Constantly. I worry about my clients. I worry about the economy. I worry about my husband (who, realistically, seems fine, BTW).
I see others, and I suspect other people aren't like this. I suspect that when they aren't working, they rarely think about work. I suspect that they don't obsess over raising their kids. I suspect that other people relax and enjoy themselves when 5 p.m. comes around.
Instead, I just keep thinking of my alarm clock.
I need a cruise. On a ship. Yep, no meds, no doctors. Just an easy cure of people taking care of everything and no need to go anywhere to get food.
Please, please, please let me win the Powerball.
Etcetera.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I'm Not Going To Lie
I am shocked that no body shot at the President. I was so scared for him that I held my breath as I watched the oath. I know there is still hatred out there. I'm thrilled, though, that my children will never learn that hate. They will know about it, of course, as a cautionary tale. Let's not ever have a country again where a citizen cannot be elected because of gender or skin color.
I spent a lot of time on Facebook today. In part, I've been going through a backlog of work. It's mostly e-mails and to do list issues, so I have been able to check Facebook while e-mails load up. Also, I feel the need to connect.
Alan and I had a fight over the need to connect with others. I get noticably sad if I don't connect to lots of people. I miss people when I don't see them for a while. Last week, home with the flu, I felt very alone. I got tons of well wishes, so to Alan, who is okay by himself for weeks at a time, it's noncomprehensible. He pointed out that we went out to dinner. I pointed out that I need connections every single day. He seemed clueless.
Is it just me? Others seem fine with alone time. I need alone time - to read or sleep. But otherwise, I'd prefer to be with people. That's why I work in coffee shops. That's why I want to go out with friends all the time. My perfect weekend? Coffee with hubby on Friday night. Lunch with friends on Saturday. Mall walking Sunday afternoon with a sibling. I need connections, not quiet, for my sanity.
After a week out sick, I'm feeling insane.
But thankful that our President did okay.
Etcetera.
I spent a lot of time on Facebook today. In part, I've been going through a backlog of work. It's mostly e-mails and to do list issues, so I have been able to check Facebook while e-mails load up. Also, I feel the need to connect.
Alan and I had a fight over the need to connect with others. I get noticably sad if I don't connect to lots of people. I miss people when I don't see them for a while. Last week, home with the flu, I felt very alone. I got tons of well wishes, so to Alan, who is okay by himself for weeks at a time, it's noncomprehensible. He pointed out that we went out to dinner. I pointed out that I need connections every single day. He seemed clueless.
Is it just me? Others seem fine with alone time. I need alone time - to read or sleep. But otherwise, I'd prefer to be with people. That's why I work in coffee shops. That's why I want to go out with friends all the time. My perfect weekend? Coffee with hubby on Friday night. Lunch with friends on Saturday. Mall walking Sunday afternoon with a sibling. I need connections, not quiet, for my sanity.
After a week out sick, I'm feeling insane.
But thankful that our President did okay.
Etcetera.
Friday, January 16, 2009
The Revised Plan
1. Work out at least 20 minutes per day. I can skip a day, but ONLY if I've already banked the time. (For example, if I work out 40 minutes Saturday and 30 minutes Sunday and 20 minutes Monday, I can skip Tuesday and only work out 10 minutes on Wednesday.) Banking does not carry over after 7 days.
2. Do pushups and crunches EVERYDAY. For now, my goal is 30 fake ones and one real one
3. Erase the evidence of whatever I do - cooking, getting dressed, coming home from work.
4. Do one extra thing each time I do a task. For example, while cooking lunch (roast beef sandwich) and grabbing a plate from the dishwasher for the sandwich, I went ahead and unloaded all the clean plates from the dishwasher. Unloading the whole dishwasher would have taken too long, but unloading that one extra thing took no time at all.
5. 15 minute QC (quickclean) everyday - either cleaning the area that needs it most, doing the task that needs it most, or decluttering. Again, I can bank the time, just like above, but not for longer than 7 days.
6. Make myself accountable for 365 days (starting on my birthday tomorrow) by charting it in my pda. I won't chart the erasing the evidence or doing one thing extra, but I will chart the workouts, pushups/crunches, and the QC in my pda.
Hold me accountable.
Etcetera.
2. Do pushups and crunches EVERYDAY. For now, my goal is 30 fake ones and one real one
3. Erase the evidence of whatever I do - cooking, getting dressed, coming home from work.
4. Do one extra thing each time I do a task. For example, while cooking lunch (roast beef sandwich) and grabbing a plate from the dishwasher for the sandwich, I went ahead and unloaded all the clean plates from the dishwasher. Unloading the whole dishwasher would have taken too long, but unloading that one extra thing took no time at all.
5. 15 minute QC (quickclean) everyday - either cleaning the area that needs it most, doing the task that needs it most, or decluttering. Again, I can bank the time, just like above, but not for longer than 7 days.
6. Make myself accountable for 365 days (starting on my birthday tomorrow) by charting it in my pda. I won't chart the erasing the evidence or doing one thing extra, but I will chart the workouts, pushups/crunches, and the QC in my pda.
Hold me accountable.
Etcetera.