When Kids Are Exceptional, But Adults Can't Tell

I studied child development as an undergrad. I've been a preschool teacher, high school teacher, and middle school teacher. In addition, I spent most of my legal practice as an attorney focusing on juveniles, most of whom had special challenges of one sort or another.

So when I say that I have failed children over and over, it is quite a confession.

But I have failed children - and their parents - by often not recognizing special needs when they were not visually obvious.

As the mother of a kid with some exceptional needs, I figured I'd come clean and help the rest of you avoid making judgmental, self-centered idiots of yourself.

Learn from my mistakes!

Don't assume that a kid is "okay" based on appearances.

When The Loki is tired after a night of seizures, outgrowing his epilepsy meds, or trying a new attention medicine, he can appear to be a seven year old of normal intelligence and physical ability. And, in fact, he is. He doesn't need a wheelchair or a sign language translator.

Except, and this is the tricky part, he might get lost. Or he might have trouble remembering or following simple instructions.

He isn't okay without some extra help. He isn't safe or able to perform to full ability without some adjustments.

So, side eye to the lady who was glaring at me when I made my seven year old hold hands on our walk across campus. Yes, he knows not to cross streets without looking. But without a buddy, he'll sometimes wander across the street anyway.

Do assume parents are the EXPERTS on their kids.

I know a lot about child development in general. But there are only two kids that I can tell you everything about - their medical and educational histories, their motivations, their emotions. My kids. That's it.

So, if I am put in charge of your kid or I am bringing him somewhere, I no longer hesitate to ask, "is there anything I should know?"

Tell me that he gets scared in the dark, won't go to the bathroom without a crack in the doorway, or is allergic to sesame seeds. Let me know that she needs structure or more time or someone to hold her hand.

Parents, don't be scared to share those things with others. If they don't know, they can't help.

Adults, don't be afraid to ask. If you truly mean well, you might just make someone's day!

Remember that we ALL have strengths and weaknesses.

Grace means that we accept that about others and ourselves.

I am great in social situations. So I look around, find others who struggle, and give them a way "in" to the group. But I am aware that they might not want that, so I leave the decision up to them.

On the other hand, I cannot navigate or drive well. I let others drive whenever possible. So if I bum a ride, be kind! I'll cook you dinner or watch your kids.

Kids are the same way. Some are so sweet. Others are funny. Each has their own set of strengths and weaknesses, regardless of disabilities and abilities.

Sometimes, challenging kids make it hard to remember that. Sometimes, we don't see the exceptionalities.

We are too busy not looking or judging.

It's time to change that and start making the world a better, more accepting place, especially for children facing special struggles.

Etcetera.

If you enjoy what you read at Giftie Etcetera, please share on social media. Click here to join the Giftie Etcetera Facebook group.

Partied at: Hip Homeschool Hop, Roses of Inspiration, Country Fair Blog Party, Worthwhile Wednesdays, Wednesday Showcase, Link It To Me, A Little R and R, Wednesday's Wisdom, Way Back Wednesday, Thoughtful Thursdays, No Rules Weekend, Awesome Life Friday, Friday Features, Your Turn to Shine, Momma Told Me, Get Your Shine On, Weekend Blog Hop, Pretty Pintastic, Funtastic Friday, Reasons to Skip the Housework, Saturday Sharefest, My Favorite Things, Small Victories Sunday, Sundays Down Under, Happiness Is Homemade, Motivation Monday, Mommy Monday, Making Your Home Sing, Inspiration Monday, Simply Sundays, Mommy Moments, Marvelous Monday, Anything Goes, Good Morning Mondays, Something to Talk About, Meetup Monday, Monday Musings, Art of Homemaking, Mommy Meetup Monday, Hip Homeschool Hop, Sharing Saturday, Share It One More Time, Wake Up Wednesday, Wonderful Wednesday, Coffee and Conversation, Wise Woman Wednesday. Waiting On Wednesday, Happy Home Life, Traffic Jam Weekend, Fridays Five Features, Sharing Saturday

How to Schedule Your Errands ... Backwards

***This post may contain affiliate links. See my "Disclaimer" link for additional details.***

Last week, I ran out of gas. As I rolled up to the gas pump, running on fumes and a prayer, I stared at the little EMPTY sign on my gas tank.

The computer in my car does this neat little thing where it tells you estimated miles of driving that you have left.

Mine said (smugly, I swear), "0 miles."

I was relieved as I finally and miraculously cruised on fumes up to the gas tank, especially since my baby nephew was snoozing in the back seat, blissfully unaware that we had almost gotten stranded on the side of a busy road.

Of course that particular gas tank was having problems with its credit card reader, because that was exactly how my week had gone.

It was my own fault. I had driven to the bank, then back across town to the YMCA, then back to the bank, then to the store (where I forgot to get the most important thing on my list). I ran out of time to get gas, so went to carpool and took my chances that I could make it to the gas station in time.

Take Care of the Insides of Your Planner

Most people take care of the outsides of their planners - wiping them down, protecting them in bags, or treating leather.

But the insides of a planner are the important part!

What are you doing to care for those parts?

Check out this Classic Giftie post to find out how I care for the insides of my planner.

As always when I look back on a classic post, I update with things that I am currently doing. So, this morning, I read the old post and did the following:

*pulled out some projects that are complete and filed them away,

*filed away my September calendar pages, and

*created a task to redo my ABC Notes tabs, as they are worn out (and I don't have time to do it immediately).

Let me know in the comments what you did to care for the insides of your planner this week.

Etcetera.

If you enjoy what you read at Giftie Etcetera, please share on social media. Click here to join the Giftie Etcetera Facebook group.

Partied at: Happiness is Homemade, Simply Sundays, Inspiration Monday, Sundays Down Under, Mommy Monday, Manic Mondays, Monday Musings. Marvelous Monday, Something to Talk About, Anything Goes, Good Morning Mondays, Create Link Inspire, Roses of Inspiration, Country Fair Blog Party, Worthwhile Wednesdays, Wednesday Showcase, Link It To Me, A Little R and R, Wednesday's Wisdom, Way Back Wednesday, No Rules Weekend, Awesome Life Friday, Friday Features, Your Turn to Shine, Momma Told Me, Get Your Shine On, Weekend Blog Hop, Pretty Pintastic, Funtastic Friday, Reasons to Skip the Housework, Saturday Sharefest, My Favorite Things, Share the Wealth, Small Victories Sunday

How to Write More Interesting Facebook Posts for Bloggers and Nonbloggers

Facebook gives people a chance to peek at the quality of your writing.

If you are a blogger, you write for a living. Sure, a blog isn't a novel, but if you want people to read your blog, you've got to be interesting and give them quality content.

If you aren't a blogger (most of you, I'm guessing), you still want to write cool, interesting stuff on Facebook!

I've got some tricks that will help your posts be more compelling for your friends and readers.

Write from the heart.

It's so important to be reveal your true self, even if you don't reveal everything. If you write it, make sure you believe it and would stand behind it.

You don't have to tell everyone everything, though. Facebook is way too public, even with privacy settings, to be used recklessly. But reveal enough of yourself that people recognize you.

Use good grammar and spelling.

Facebook is casual. Typos happen.

But it is a sign of respect for your friends that you write something that is easy to read.

Attention Grammar Nazis: This does NOT mean you should correct someone for poor grammar or spelling. Perhaps they have a learning disorder or a lack of education. Maybe they have coordination problems when posting from a smart phone. Use your manners!

Show the good and the bad.

Nobody needs to  know about the details of your medical procedure. (Seriously, we don't. And we DO NOT want pictures of that toe nail. Ever.)

But don't limit yourself to only good stuff or only bad stuff. Be real. It's only fair to your friends. Plus, it saves you from being labeled a complainer or a braggart.

Use Facebook hacks.

Facebook has lots of little things that can make posts more interesting.

***Tag someone in a post by simply typing their name while posting, and selecting the tag when it pops up.

(Caution - their friends will be able to see your posts if you tag them. If you prefer, tag them in the first comment, instead, and they will get a notification but their friends won't see your post unless they are also your friends.)

***Add photo to your posts by clicking on the camera icon in the lower left corner of the status box.

***Tag people at the end of the post (rather than in the middle of the status) using the person plus icon.

***Add your feelings using the smiley icon.

This tip helps your readers know what you are feeling and clarifies the post.

***Check-in, done with the teardrop icon, tells where you are.

(Caution - consider only checking-in after the fact, for security purposes.)

***Customize your audience. 

Sometimes, only some people need to read what you are writing. Maybe you want to exclude your boss or a friend who is dealing with heavy stuff from a particular post.

Find out how here.

Here's a sample of me customizing privacy so my husband can't read about his upcoming surprise party:

(Aside for husband - Don't worry, dear husband, I'm only kidding. You'd hate a surprise party!)

Here's what my final status looks like, using the photo, feeling, and check-in icons.

Most of all, enjoy Facebook. It's a conversation, not a performance. Remember that and you'll be fine!

If you enjoyed this post, please share on Facebook.

Etcetera.

If you enjoy what you read at Giftie Etcetera, please share on social media. Click here to join the Giftie Etcetera Facebook group.

Partied at: Reasons to Skip the Housework, Happiness is Homemade, Simply Sundays

The Rhythm of the Weekly Plan

Do you find that you plan less or more poorly later in the week?

For example, on Monday, you have a detailed task list and a specific, hourly schedule.

By Friday? You are barely even using your planner!

If this sounds familiar to you, consider changing things up a bit.

*Plan to do really important stuff on Monday or Tuesday.

*Make your Friday schedule in advance, on Wednesday or Thursday.

*Dedicate to always writing it down, even on Fridays.

*Bring your planner everywhere with you.

Finally...

*Remember that you can always start over on Monday.

You don't need to be a perfect person to make your planner work for you.

If it only works Monday through Wednesday, but you get lots done during that first half of the week, then your planner is working.

If this speaks to you, please consider sharing with someone who needs the encouragement to use their planner, even if they use it imperfectly.

Etcetera.

If you enjoy what you read at Giftie Etcetera, please share on social media. Click here to join the Giftie Etcetera Facebook group.

Partied at: Friday Favorites, Weekend Blog Hop, Home Matters, Pretty Pintastic, Homemaking Mondays, Monday Musings, Something to Talk About

My New Handwriting Obsession

***This post may contain affiliate links. See my "Disclaimer" link for additional details.***

Most people who plan love to explore handwriting.

Smaller handwriting means that a lighter planner works. Larger handwriting can be beautiful and easy to read.