How to Allow Chaos to Rule: A Giftie Comedy of Errors | Giftie Etcetera: How to Allow Chaos to Rule: A Giftie Comedy of Errors

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

How to Allow Chaos to Rule: A Giftie Comedy of Errors

Mistake #1: Not replacing a light bulb.

A week ago, our kitchen light bulb went out. It flickered for a long time first, but it's one of those long light bulbs that is difficult to change. Since my husband is working crazy overtime hours, I just switched it off and used sunlight from the windows to work at my desk.

This morning, I woke to a vicious rain storm, complete with full coverage clouds. My house was like a dungeon. It was clear to me that to get anything accomplished, I'd need to go to a coffee shop or the library.

Mistake #2: Taking a selfie.

off topic, humor, planner, planning

The rain and a PTO meeting meant a solid opportunity to wear my new blue shoes. They feel like ballet slippers, but have a short wedge heel. And they are water-resistant.

I took a selfie.

I never take a selfie. (In fact, since I have an old Android phone, I'm not sure the mirror shot is technically a selfie.)

I spent just long enough admiring myself in the mirror to forget to check my prep list for the day.

(The first anonymous person to comment that there is nothing to admire is going down! D.O.W.N. To the rest you, thanks. I do, indeed, look pretty cute for a woman in her 40s.)

Mistake #3: Not checking planner.

planner, errands, prep list

Without my prep checklist, I forgot the library books and CDs that are due today. The CDs carry hefty fines. The bag was sitting right there, in my launch pad. (Okay, okay...NEAR my launchpad. Happy?)

Mistake #4: Not following my own rules.

I have a Rule of Five for my handbags. I did not follow it, and forgot my wallet.

Mistake #5: Being too nice to the neighborhood cat.

I am very allergic to cats. But I am also kind to animals. So during bad weather, we allow the fat, black neighborhood cat to sit in our carport. We don't feed him (though he keeps trying to feed us mice and birds).

It was pouring and there was lightning, and the darn cat would not move away from my car. I can't touch her or go near her, so I sat on the horn for a long time.

Y'all, my neighbors are going to egg my house later. Oops.

Mistake #6: Driving in the rain.

I'm the girl who once took out my great aunt's air conditioner unit with my car. My very elderly great aunt (may she rest in peace) was sitting in her house in front of the unit when it happened.

Edited to clarify: My great aunt is resting in peace because her time finally ran out and not because of my driving. She even asked me to read at her funeral, so hard feelings!

Driving in the rain takes a skill set that I do not possess. Where are the headlights? The windshield wipers? The brakes? Can I make it through that water on the roadway?

Mistake #7: Losing my umbrellas.

I have literally no idea where I put them. They are not on my planner list of "Locations" like my coats and swim gear happen to be.

No problem. I stopped at the store and bought a new one.

Um, no wallet, remember? I remembered at the checkout.

Mistake #8: Thinking Baton Rouge traffic doesn't exist.

It does, FYI.

Mistake #9: Not making coffee to go.

After all, who makes coffee to go when one is working at a coffee shop?

Oh, right. One who leaves her house around 7:30 a.m. and manages not to arrive to the coffee shop until 10:30 a.m.

I know you like round numbers, but I only made 9 mistakes so far! You know what that means, don't you? Mistake #10 is coming soon.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.


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Misty said...

awesome post.

Unknown said...

You are very cute! I love your shoes, and you are rocking that sassy 40's look (says a 52yr old still in her pj's at 9:00am)!

I want to know what #10 was. It did happen, didn't it! lol

Mathochist said...

Except for the cell phone, I would swear there was no way you took that photo this decade! You look awesome! I hope your day gets less chaotic!

camg said...

A warning to us all! Thanks!!!

The Fabulous Planner said...

HAHA! I love it! Great post too. :)

Heather said...

Love your sassy attitude. It makes the blog posts so much fun to read. You look great by the way :)