The Truth About Mothering a Child with Exceptional Needs

I've drafted the first line of this post over ten times. It started as a celebration of mothers who raise kids with exceptional needs.

But that wasn't enough.

It morphed into a cutesy illustration of what moms of "normal" children can expect - footprint art, tissue paper flowers, or breakfast made from cereal and spilled milk - versus what moms of kiddos with special needs can expect.

But if a child can't remove his corrective foot braces, has inadequate fine motor skills, or had seizures pretty much every day this week, moms already know they won't be getting that traditional stuff. They don't need me to tell them (or you) that.

I owe it to the mom who stood by me in the special park (the one with a wheelchair swing and an adult-sized harness swing) - watching our two "probably have autism but doctors are nervous to label them" kids to make sure they were at least not physically mean to each other - to tell the truth.

Pomodoro Time Management for Lazy Planners

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The Pomodoro Technique is a time management technique in which people basically use a timer to get themselves to get things done in brief and successive periods of time.

What Do People Think I Do

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Every morning, I get out of bed when my husband leaves for work. Doesn't that sound lazy and decadent?

When Your Exceptional Kid Needs a Schedule

As most of my Loyal Readers know, my kid has some exceptional needs. 

What's Not on My Planner Page

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I spend a lot of time at Giftie Etcetera talking about what is on my weekly and daily plan.

But what about what is NOT on my planner spread for the day?

Two Schedules in One Planner

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Is keeping two schedules in a single planner overkill?

Maybe not.

Why I'm Homeschooling (Even Though I Don't Want To)

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I'm going into homeschooling kicking and screaming, dragged along by forces beyond my control.

So why homeschool?

Homeschool Lesson Planning on Two-Page-per-Day Planner Refills

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My family has made the very serious and emotional decision to homeschool our 7-year-old epilepsy kid.

This should be easy for me, a former certified teacher.

Free Planner Printable - Graph and Lined Paper

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Once again, I'm teaming up with Becky at Planner Fun to share many ways to use her free printables in a planner.

Keep reading to find out how to get a free printable!

Parenting, Planners, and Public Speaking

Once a week, I focus on technology. But I don't limit the technology talk to my blog.

I also teach my kids how to use technology in a positive way.

Currently, that means learning how to write, produce, and star in their own YouTube videos for kids.

Planner people, especially those with children or grandchildren, keep reading. I've got a special tutorial for you to watch (with or without your kid) about using planners!

How to Trick Your Teen or Preteen Into Getting Organized With a Planner

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Teenagers and preteens don't get enough credit.

How to Write Assignments in a Planner

If you are a student or, like me, the parent of a student, homework assignments create a dilemma.

Usually there are too many to merit a DUE DATE entry without making big deadlines fade away in the clutter of the planner page, but the due date needs to be written down. 

I solve this problem by writing my 2nd grader's assignments on a sticky note on the Today page marker.

I can't miss it in my weekly spread, but it's out of the way until we are ready to do homework.

TIP: If you are a student, schedule a regular daily time to tackle homework and reading.

TIP: This tricks works well for ongoing projects or weekly tasks, too! Just put the projects in your project section and list them in your weekly spread just like the homework is listed. That way, projects stay on your radar.

Etcetera.

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Why I Hate Summer Reading Programs

It's probably not a surprise to my Loyal Readers that someone with a paper planner loves the written word. 

In my household, we take reading very seriously.

For example, I read almost every night. I earned a perfect score in reading on the ACT during high school. I've drafted two novels and am mid-way through a third.

My 4th grader reads way above level and reads for fun all the time! He brings a book everywhere. He almost wept in pleasure when the newest Percy Jackson arrived at the local library. He spends his pocket money on books for his Kindle.

My mantle is even a shrine to Harry Potter. 

But every summer, the library does a reading program, Scholastic does a reading program, or the bookstore does a reading program. 

Then the local schools "challenge" the kids to log their reading as part of the contest. Sometimes, schools even require participation in the contest.

I hate it!

If a kid WANTS to compete in a "who can read more" reading contest, that's cool. I get why libraries and book stores might create these summer reading contests and they are fine with me as an optional program. A self-motivated kid is going to be an enthusiastic reader.

If a kid is a reluctant reader, he NEEDS to be forced to read. For my going-to-2nd-grader, mandatory reading is a wonderful thing. Still, logging is excessive. I say make life simpler and just say read for 20 minutes before bed.

But for the high achieving reader who reads for pleasure all summer long, logging makes reading a chore! Logging causes resentment.

Planners understand the feeling. We log stuff all the time. We might log while we are trying to learn a new routine (say, logging exercise all month) or reach a goal (say, logging cups of water).

Eventually, we burn out on logging.

But for a kid who picks up a book for fun, checking the start and end time of reading and walking over to the fridge to find the log and writing down the time and falling asleep book in hand so not knowing the time and getting stressed about losing the competition and being required to read...well, you can hear the overwhelm in his thoughts, right?

Schools are so overworked and have to make choices for the majority of kids. I get that.

In this case, however, they are demotivating reading in natural readers. They are ruining a great attitude and tradition. 

They are stealing away the pleasure of a good book and a glass of cold lemonade on the front porch. 

I say parents speak up to change that trend. Share with your friends on Facebook and let them know that reading logs should never be mandatory.

Lemonade and good books all around!

Etcetera.

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Partied with: Twinkly Tuesday, Mummy and Us, Lou Lou Girls, Tips and Tricks Tuesday, Dream Create Inspire, Party in Your PJs, Link It To Me, Worthwhile Wednesdays, Laugh and Learn, Tell It To Me Tuesday, Wined Down Wednesday, Wake Up Wednesday, A Little R&R, Wednesday Showcase, Think and Make, Pintastic Pinteresting, Momma Told Me, Weekend Retreat, Weekend Blog Hop, Feature Fridays, Fridays Five Features, Weekend Wind Down, End of the Week Confessions, DIY Inspired, Link Party Palooza, Funtastic Friday, Create and Share, Awesome Life Friday, TGI Saturdays, Skip the Housework, Saturday Sparks, Small Victories Sunday, Simply Sunday

3 Reasons Why I Schedule Summer Days

In my day (way back in the 1980s), there was a class called Home Economics. All the girls - and a handful of boys...grrrr - learned how to sew, cook, and do other assorted domestic chores.

Home Ec was virtually useless. I failed the sewing part, which put me out of the running for junior high Valedictorian. I already knew how to cook. Also, I resented the boys, who got to slack off in musical instruments class.

I want my kids to learn how to cook, sew on a button, peel potatoes, clean a room, organize art supplies, and balance a checkbook.

Even if they take the modern version of Home Ec (called Family and Consumer Sciences), they just won't learn all the living skills that they need at school.

So, this summer, instead of doing math practice in the formal workbook the school suggests that we use, they will be helping calculate the family budget, adding and subtracting hours and minutes of earned electronics time, and doing real-life PE - walking, running, and biking with mom. They will be reading novels that they enjoy and working as a family to serve each other.

This summer, we are on a schedule.

There are 3 main reasons why I schedule summer days.

1. Fewer Freak Outs

Honestly, our schedule is very loose and subject to change, but it's a good skeleton outline of our day.

My kids complain about the schedule, but the reality is that, when they know what is coming, they are calmer and less stressed out.

For example, my kids are always hungry. Knowing that lunch is "in ten minutes" keeps them from screaming about how they are "STARVING" and how I "NEVER" feed them. (I feed them five times a day. Last night, two minutes after eating half a ribeye steak, oven fries, a salad, and dessert, my 9 year old skinny child announced that he was faint from hunger.)

It's also nice knowing that, if chores are done quickly, you have tons of free time.

Notice that the schedule has a lot of free time. It's summer, after all!

2. Teaching Opportunities

By scheduling the day, I can make sure that I have time to teach my kids life skills.

Today, I taught them to clean one corner of the room each day.

"Oh, that's easy," The Loki, age 6, announced proudly. If he had the clean the whole room, he would get overwhelmed, freak out, and throw a tantrum. Instead, he now knows how to divide a big job into small, attainable pieces.

3. Sanity for Mom Means Sanity for All

Mostly, the schedule means I am not hit with "I'm bored" or fighting several times a day.

I do work during their free time (which they love) and during "Reading Hour" (because 6 year olds no longer take naps, or so The Loki claims right before he falls asleep every day).

I do chores when they do chores.

It feels more than fair to them, since Mommy does "even more work than us!"

By 3 p.m., I am done except for supper (which is already planned, defrosted, and prepped).

Summer is still lazy, but the kids are learning lessons that will make life easier. I love that.

Come talk about how you are handling your summer schedules by clicking on Etcetera (below) and joining our Facebook group!

Etcetera.

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Summer Schedules for School-Age Kids (and Homeschoolers)

I know a lot of homeschoolers read my blog, and I must confess: you astound me.

I could NEVER do what you do. (Okay, I could. But it is not my dream. I love my kids' school - and I am so thankful for that - because even with a Master of Education degree, I am terrified of those two months during the summer when I am in charge of my own children!)

But for you - and for my nonhomeschooling readers with kids home for the summer - I'm sharing how I set up a summer schedule that makes sense to my kids and to me.

How to set up a summer schedule:

1. Click here for a link to the blank form that I used (in Word). It's in half hour increments.

2. Adjust times to reflect your kids normal waking hours.

3. Input somewhat set times.

In my house, meals and snacks are pretty routine.

4. Input your wishes.

I like to take a bath before breakfast. I like the kids to do chores early in the day. I limit electronic time, but I am flexible about when the kids use it. These things get scheduled around set times.

For homeschoolers, this is where you put in schoolwork.

5. Input the rest.

Fill in all the spaces.

Everything we do each day gets entered somewhere. Baths, chores, cleaning bedrooms, reading, errands, family clean-up. (See the pic below for ideas!)

For those not scheduled, just note that they are "free." (There is a reason for this. I promise.)

6. Color code the kids' column.

Green = free time
Yellow = free time after activity or chore is done
Red = not free

This visual is so necessary for the kids. They don't really care what is next (except for food...my kids really care about when they next eat). They care about when they have to check with you and when they can just play. 

TIP: Stress to your little ones that yellow times are an opportunity to get things done quickly to have even more free time!

7. Identify E-time and outside time.

If my kids do chores, they earn electronics' time (e-time). Also, I only want them outside when I can peek out the window. I went through the schedule and marked times when they can use electronics (if they have any in the bank) and times when they can and cannot go outside.

8. Color-code your schedule.

I use colors OFF the red light spectrum so the kids don't get confused.

Also, for my schedule, I only color-code non-free time.

Pink = self-care
Purple = homemaking
Orange = work (for my part-time job)

9. Post the schedule.

Put it where the kids can read it. When they ask about dinner for the 3,264th time, point them to the schedule.

10. Stick to it.

It really is important to stick to the routine as much as possible.

Some of the advantages include encouraging reading (because twice a day, the only other option is sleep), encouraging outside play, showing the kids that everyone has responsibilities, and making the day more predictable for kids who thrive on routine.

Loyal Readers know that I am not a huge fan of scheduling, but in the case of summer, I would not proceed without one!

Etcetera.

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