Thursday, January 31, 2008


They changed the flavor of Flintstone's vitamins. Why would anyone do that?


Hey...What's With That?

I posted yesterday, but the post is not here today. Hmmm...fishy.

I have my last Strollerfit class today. My last one! It's been one of the best things I've ever done. I've lost weight. I've gotten toned. I've made friends.

Tomorrow, I get to start at the Y. It was time anyway, I guess. But I will miss Strollerfit.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Language Leap

Ander just talks like a grownup now. Today it was, "mommy, I have boogers." (Lifts nose toward me.) "Ander, you want mommy to blow your nose?" "O-Kay."

The conversations are groundbreaking.


Monday, January 28, 2008

After Threatening To Sue (Warning: TMI Post)

It's amazing how, after you get fed up with your doctor and tell the nurse that if the doctor doesn't call you back with a diagnosis tonight (as opposed to, say, a couple of weeks from now), you'll be calling back not as a patient, but as an attorney, the doctor finds time to call you at 6 p.m. :)

So, anyway, I HAVE A DIAGNOSIS. 4 months of diarrhea, every day, 5-15 times a day, without fail, and I have a diagnosis! I have lymphocytic colitis. Oh, and apparently a pretty serious case of acid reflux. I guess that makes the nausea make sense, but I haven't had heart burn, so I didn't expect that.

I see my internal medicine doctor for a treatment plan in two days, but in the meantime, I can take Imodium long-term, instead of the two days written on the package. Yippee! (Okay, weird thing to get excited about. But huge for me.)


I Try To Be An Active Poster

I really do. I figure active posting fosters loyal readers. Yet many of my friends (not the ones reading this entry, of course) forget to regularly check my blog. They find out about the miscarriage a couple of months later. Or they assume I'll be in town on days when I've clearly said I'll not be, to all the stalkers' delights. So, infrequent readers, put a daily note on your calendar to read my blog. Or set up an RSS feed. Or do what I do, and use Google Reader everyday. You'll be a better - or at least a better informed about me - person for it.

I had an appointment scheduled with my G/I doctor tomorrow afternoon. Today, at lunchtime, with barely 24 hours notice, she cancelled. Is she sick? Does she have emergency surgery? Did someone die?

Um, no, she'll be out of town.

Huh? Didn't she know last week, when she gave me absolutely no info at all about my procedure, that she would be out of town?!?

Of course, my follow-up with my internist is two days later, so now my internist has to call the G/I doc for results. Sigh. I am not happy with this G/I doc at all.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

Four Things

Four jobs I have had in my life:

1. Proofreading scientific journal entries
2. Selling my class notes to Note Depot
3. McDonald's (two days, then I quit)
4. Taught preschool

Four movies I've watched more than once:
1. Titanic
2. Say Anything
3. Harry Potter
4. Pretty in Pink

Four Places I've Lived
1. Baton Rouge
2. Paulina
3. Natchitoches
4. Gonzales

Four T.V. Shows that I watch:
1. Jon and Kate Plus Eight
2. Gray’s Anatomy
3. ER
4. Iron Chef America

Four favorite pastime activities:
1. Drinking coffee
2. Playing board games
3. Walking outdoors with a friend
4. Reading a great book

Four places I have been:
1. The Myrtles Plantation
2. Hymel's Restaurant in Convent
3. Puerto Rico
4. Brien's bedroom

People who e-mail me regularly:
1. Alan
2. Rachel (both of them)
3. Stac Colem.... (Cole doesn't work since I know some Coles, but I don't want to put her full name here)
4. A housing association in Colorado (who knows how I got on that list?)

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Ninfa's Red Sauce
2. Outback French Fries
3. Dark chocolate
4. Honey Smack

Four places I would like to visit:
1. Paris
2. England
3. Australia
4. Italy

Four Friends I think will respond:
1. Alan (he's better)
2. E
3. Rach S.
4. Michelle (Maybe? It is tax season, after all.)

Things I am looking forward to in the coming year:
1. Maybe having a baby
2. Meeting my billable goals
3. Reading mroe books
4. Ander potty training (I'm very, very hopeful. Uselessly, as he doesn't want to potty.)

Things I am not looking forward to in the coming year:
1. Getting/being pregnant
2. Working out
3. Meeting my billable goal (the work part; I like the money part)
4. Cleaning my house


Friday, January 25, 2008

Even Better

I now have chills and fever. I got my flu shot, so we shall see.



I Am Not Pregnant

I mean, seriously, I'm not. I had to schedule my procedure pre-ovulation, so I cannot be pregnant.

So why do I keep dry heaving? I've been in the bathroom like 20 times today. And my other problems (*cough* TMI *cough*) have continued through the morning, so I'm pretty sick right now. I just put Ander to bed, and seeing as I feel like I've been hit by a mac truck, I may be there soon myself. And since I'm not pregnant, that means I am actually ill. Which sucks.


Is It The Weekend Yet?

Things are somehow not going good. I'm on top of most things, but things are still slipping through the cracks. I'm tired and overwhelmed. Know what would be nice? An entire week without a doctor's appointment or trip to the pharmacy. That would be nice.


Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Mornings

My mornings are about to change. Right now, I get to do a few chores and get ready slowly 2-3 days a week because of Strollerfit. But once I start the Y in February, I will have to leave the house at 8:30 a.m. Which means that I lose a half hour of time that I generally spend on chores. I'm really worried that my house will get really messy.

I just don't understand people whose houses stay clean all the time. *cough* Michelle *cough*. How do they do it?


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A Day In The Life

ENTRY #1 - 8:25 a.m.
Ander woke up around 5 a.m., crying for his daddy. Alan got up to get Ander some milk and bring him to our bed (on his side, because I think Ander needs to learn to stay in his crib until at least 6 a.m.). I went to the bathroom, and went back to sleep.
Alan left for work around 7 a.m. I don't remember, because Ander was unusually cooperative and slept next to me until about 7:20 a.m. Then he asked for tv. I turned on the Disney channel, and slept next to a tv-watching toddler until 7:40 a.m.
I got ready for work. First, I set out my makeup, hair comb, conditioning spray, and towel with robe on the counter. I took a quick, warm bath, where I washed my hair. I got out, did my hair, got dressed in chocolate brown pants, a long-sleeve chocolate and aqua patterned shirt, and a tan jacket. Ander asked to brush his teeth, so I let him while I brushed mine.
Then I put together everything for the day. I have to return library books. The only one that is missing? The one on organizing. :) I think, no I hope, it's in my car. I made coffee.
Now I'm going to load up my car, change Ander, and pack breakfast and lunch. (Breakfast for me will be a croissant and coffee in the car.) I hope to stop by the library to drop off my books on the way to the office. So, now I'm going to turn off the laptop and get going.
ENTRY #2 - 10:12 a.m.
I just read over my first entry, and I made it sound like I did so little. I really worked hard. I had to remember to take my meds (several pills), change a fighting toddler's stinky diaper, realize the diaper pail was not available because it was airing out from garbage day, find a place to put said stinky diaper, get Ander dressed - including the great hunt for shoes on the table, and pack 6 bags. My purse needed my cell phone put in it from the charger. My laptop bag needed the laptop (shut down first, of course) and the plug and mouse. My tote bag held my lunch, library books, a new computer stand that Brien gave me for my birthday (using it right now and it works fab, BTW), and my backup drive for my work computer. I have a new bag for court from hubby for my birthday, and I have court tomorrow, so that is going to work with me. And Ander needed a sippy cup for his backpack. The one he was using cracked.
On the way to work, I called my hubby. I fed myself a croissant and coffee. I feed Ander a croissant. I stopped at the library to return 10 books (yes, I found the organizing one in my embarrassing). I left Ander in the car while I returned the books. I'm certain that is not legal, but I never actually went inside the library and I determined he was safer strapped in, parked right next to where I was, than in the library parking lot while I was loaded down with books.
I called my mom to tell her I'd be running late to work by about 15 minutes, and then I talked to Ander until we arrived at mom's house. I unloaded his snack and lunch and my lunch into the frig and grabbed some documents my mom needed me to put in the mail. Then it was off to work, where I unloaded the remaining five bags into my office.
I gossiped with my office manager (Rachel) for five minutes or so, and then did work.
I emptied my work from home into the appropriate outgoing boxes: office manager, student worker, and filing. I checked my e-mail (one potential client and several blog comments). I called a cousin and wished her happy birthday. I reviewed the new procedure for client contacts with my office manager.
A client showed up for a meeting. I had her sign an affidavit so I could finalize her divorce. And now I'm typing this.
ENTRY #3 - 1154 p.m.
Let's see...since I last made an entry, I spoke to a client on the phone regarding closing her case, I went through my in-box and processed the mail, and I spoke to a counselor and a parent regarding a client's sentencing tomorrow. I helped Rachel with taxes and started to prepare for court tomorrow.
Now I am off to lunch. It's leftovers from several restaurants over the weekend.
ENTRY #4 - 12:32 p.m.
Ate lunch. Turns out my mom had cooked (which rarely happens), so I had some mac 'n cheese and some potatoes au gratin. I also had one Peppermint Patty. I am about to go over tomorrow's trial docket to prepare my arguments for juvenile court.
ENTRY #5 - 2:19 p.m.
I had a phone conference with a potential client and a meeting with a potential client. In both cases, I recommended that if things did not get worse, they did not need an attorney. I prepared a letter to opposing counsel in a criminal case, trying to work out a plea deal. I instructed my student worker in how to close certain files and where to out the trash. I have another client coming in at 3:30 p.m., but before that, I need to do the three tasks in my in-box (begin the process of withdrawning from a closed file, prepare a note of evidence and motion and order for payment, and review a judgment and send a copy to a client). I also hope to get all tasks listed in my e-mail done and cleared out. Oh, and I ate two small dark chocolate candies.
ENTRY #6 - 2:37 p.m.
Okay, okay, so I got side-tracked reading Stac (my cousin)'s blog. I am back on track.
ENTRY #7 - 3:14 p.m.
I did all three projects in my in-box, or assigned them out if they weren't billable. I helped the office manager with the tax documents (ugh, math!!!) and helped the student worker with the outgoing certified mail. Now I'm eating a Peppermint Patty and checking my websites while waiting on a potential client, who should arrive any minute.
ENTRY #8 - 4:27 p.m.
I met with the potential clients, who became clients. I am revising a will for one of them. Then I helped Rachel (poorly, I might add) with some math. I am clearing off my desk, packing up stuff for court tomorrow, and leaving the office.
ENTRY #9 - 5:54 p.m.
I hugged my son, who was unusually enthusiastic about my arrival to pick him up. I ate my leftovers that I had brought, but not eaten, for lunch. I gave Ander some of my bottled water in his sippy cup. He smiled and said, "I excited." Where the heck did he learn the word *excited*? I visited with my sister, Wendy, and then told Ander to say bye bye. He refused, and then slapped me. Since I had just warned him to be respectful and talk nice to mommy, he went to timeout for a minute and a half. Then he told everyone bye bye. We dropped off his *Monkey*, my mom's teenage neighbor, at her house, and then drove home. Ander fell asleep. I talked to alan briefly on my cell, and then talked to my youngest sister. I got home, unpacked my work stuff, plugged in my computer, and chatted with my hubby. And now I'm writing this, and I am about to get on-line while my hubby played x-box live.
ENTRY #10 - 6:06 p.m.
Still on-line, but took a break to take an ovulation test. Along with my other problems, I suspect I am not ovulating this month. Fabulous. I'm just sure my doctor will like that, and follow it up with millions of expensive and time-consuming tests, only to find nothing is wrong.
ENTRY #11 - 6:59 p.m.
Finished playing on-line. Sat with Ander a bit. Offered Ander a choice of chicken and rice or a burrito. He decided on a churito (???) with cheese. Um, okay. Alan is cooking it right now. Ander is whiney, probably because he got up from his nap at 6:30ish.
For the rest of the night, I plan to watch Wife Swap and Supernanny with Alan, tuck Ander in at 8:30 p.m., and maybe read a book between 9 and 10 p.m.
Night night.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Major Parenting Mistake

We let Ander spend a night at the grandparents. Complete with some time getting spoiled by the aunt and uncle.

And then, once he got home, we took him out, to a restaurant, to supper.

Sigh. I should have known it would go bad when my mom proudly announced how a) she didn't let Ander sleep downstairs in the spare room where he usually naps because he would have been too cold and all alone and b) at 3 a.m., it was so cute that he woke up and said "I scared, Paw Paw" that Paw Paw let him climb in bed with him for the rest of the night.

Yet, we bravely took him to supper, well, because it's Alan's birthday, darn it.

He got two time outs. He screamed and yelled. He was rude and disrespectful (hence, the timeouts).

Then he came home, and cried when we tucked him in. That's a pretty rare event.

Clearly, he came home spoiled.


Challenge For Loyal Reader


I'd love to hear about a day in the life of my loyal readers. How about Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday blog and comment below linking your blog (or just a comment below, if you don't have your own blog) about a day in your life?

I'll try to write mine down as the day passes tomorrow, and then write an entry on Thursday.


Outlook versus Palm Desktop

I use Palm Desktop for all my organizing needs. My pda also syncs with Outlook, though, so I synced it today with that program. Outlook can do things easily, like export my addresses, that Palm just cannot.

However, I find Outlook very complex and difficult to read and use, so I will still likely continue to use Palm Desktop to organize and just use Outlook to back up the info.

Did this mean I am too old to grow into new technologies?


Monday, January 21, 2008


Alan and I just watched Sicko, the film by Michael Moore. Now, I'm not going to argue that the man is not a propogana machine - of course he is. But his propoganda happens to agree with my politics, especially regarding universal medical care. So so be it.

It's ironic that we had to stop the movie for a moment when the hospital called to assure me that, besides a $100 co-pay, my procedure would be covered 100%. Well, sort of. You see, Humana does not cover full anesthesia for my procedure, so my doctor (not an anesthesiologist) will have to adminster a twilight sleep instead. And if she finds a problem? Then I guess they go ahead and call anesthesia, and make the whole thing more expensive and more risky. Brilliant, Humana. Bloody brilliant.

I need to start living my politics more. I need to write to my representatives. I need to let them know that the word *socialist*, at least in regards to healthcare coverage, is not scary to me, but comforting.


I'm Home

I had to take a couple of sick days because of a minor procedure I'm having tomorrow morning. Just trust me when I say you don't want details. LOL. Well, I'm home, with my hubby, but I cannot eat. I'm only allowed to have Coke, non-red Jello, Sierra Mist, coffee (no cream), and chicken stock. Yum. And I'm supposed to try and consume as many calories as I usually consume. It's only 10 a.m., and usually by now, I wouldn't have eaten anything yet, or only had a bite of breakfast. Yet I am starving, because isn't that how it works when you are not allowed to eat?


Saturday, January 19, 2008

Friday, January 18, 2008

Weird Day

One of my "virtual" friends has a little boy Ander's age who had a stroke last night. He is in the PICU and not showing any signs of movement in one eye, and only a little in the other. As of now, they are suspecting major brain damage. That makes you want to just stay home and play with your kid 24/7.

Also, I went to court until lunch time today. As I was riding back to the office, listening to NPR, they advertised Talk of the Nation: Science Friday. I like Science Friday, so I listened to see what would be on today. Um, let's ex-boyfriend (who happens to be a giftie) because his new film about Biodiesel is in the Sundance Film Festival this year. Weird. Cool, though. But still - what are the chances I would hear the name of someone I know on NPR? (I guess pretty good, if they went to LSMSA, actually. ;))


Great Birthday

It was one of those birthdays when I had no complaints. Tons of people remembered. At one point, between 3 and 4 p.m., 6 or 7 people were calling work and cell phones all at once with birthday wishes. Plus, Alan and I had a great night out while Ander visited Aunt Sunny. I thi nk Sunny even had a nice time watching Ander. Well, except for the five minutes when he cried for us. But he's much easier to watch now that he can just say whatever he wants.

My house is looking better. I'm not caught up. My Christmas tree is still up. But it's better and there's hope for getting it clean.

At work, I'm doing a decent job of bringing more money into the office than I did last year. That's particularly important, as we need to replace Alan's car soon (as in, before it dies) and as, if I get pregnant again, I'll need a maternity leave next year or early the year after.

Could I talk about any more boring things? ;)


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Cleaning As I Go

I'm really trying to get things done as I go. I bring things to their homes as I move from room to room getting dressed for the day. I put dishes in the sink as soon as I'm done with them. I wipe down the tub after I get out of it. I'm trying. It's just that the backlog of cleaning is so huge...I'll never catch up.



I'm about to turn 33. 33 seems old. Older than 30. I think it's the waiting until after my 20s to have kids that makes me feel so ancient. (Try knowing that if you do get pregnant, you might be considered advanced maternal age.) My hair is turning gray and getting thinner. I need coffee to wake up in the morning. I need more sleep. I have more health issues. I have, gasp, wrinkly hands.

So where's all the good stuff? Where's the respect that comes with age? The gracefulness? The calm? The sitting on the porch in a rocking chair...okay, that's probably a while away.

But still, I feel old.

My apologies to my loyal readers over 33. This is a self-reflection, and not a commentary on the state of your body. I'm sure you look and feel rockin'. ;)


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Busy Busy Busy

On the plus side, my island in my kitchen is cleared off, apart from the stuff that leaves the house with me today. I even have a couple of hours to work this morning before Strollerfit. But after that, it gets busy. I have to get some bloodwork at the doctor's office, then shower, and I have a client coming in this afternoon. I'm spoiled by these four day work weeks. Once they end (soon, too soon), it's going to suck.

Ander cannot figure out the spill-resistant bowl I put his cereal and raisans in this morning. I showed him, but he refuses to believe that it works the way mommy says it does. Sigh.


Monday, January 14, 2008

My Black Binder

Have I told my loyal readers (I suspect I have about three truly loyal readers...but whatever) about my balck binder? It's fascinating stuff, truly. Sit back and enjoy.

You see, everyone understands a planner/pda. Whether you have one or not, you know what goes in one. Events go in the calendar. To do lists carry around the lists of tasks you need to do. If you are hyperorganized like me, memos list things like ideas for dinners, master packing lists, and last year's Christmas list.

And file cabinets are easy, right? Warrantees, your birth certificate, and tax records go there.

But what about everything else? What about coupons, receipts that need to go to work to file, cards that need to be signed and mailed, bills to be paid, and directions to your cousin's wedding? Those can't go in a pda (since it has no space) and a file isn't appropriate (as it is more permanent). Most people keep that stuff in a pile on the counter.

Not me. It all goes in my trusty black binder. I keep the BB, as I call it, in my laptop case. In the pocket on the inside cover, I keep in-box items (anything not yet processed, like the card when I first buy it or the invitation before I enter it on my calendar). The 8 plastic drop in folders are labeled TODAY, TASKS (already entered in pda), MEMOS/DOCS/PENDING (things I'm holding onto for some reason - like a background research document for something I am working on), OUT - WORKBOUND, OUT - HOMEBOUND, and 3 special topics folders, for things like planning Ander's birthday party. The BB also had a pen, post-its, business cards, and a yellow legal pad.

Too much info? :)


Through the Roof

My blood pressure is very high again. The last time it was this high, I had just delivered Ander the week before and I was in the hospital for my heart. I'm supposed to avoid stress. Because, yah, that's easy. Right.


Sunday, January 13, 2008

I Hate Upsizing

Everytime I buy coffee, I order a tall. And then the barista asks, "would you like a grande instead?"

Um, no. You see, I am not stupid. I can read. The sign gives me options, and I considered it, and decided I wanted a tall. If I wanted a grande, I would have asked for a grande. Plus a grande gets cold before I'm done drinking, and cold coffee is gross. Honestly, I want a coffee cup size serving with hot refills, but since that is not an option...

What I've actually decided to say is, "no, I would like a tall. And please let the manager know that I would appreciate it if this store considers not asking customers to upsize their drinks."

I say that all the time now, and usually I get knowing grins from the barista, and a comment that they have to ask. I always respond, "I know, it's not your fault. Just tell the manager that some pain in the butt customer complains everytime you ask the question." And I smile. And since they don't really want to ask in the first place, and since I make it clear that I am not complaining about them, it's no big deal. Sometimes, they even think it's funny.

But tonight, the Barnes and Noble employee responded with, "I am the manager, and it's my job to ask."

I responded with, "then please tell corporate."

And she responded with, "would you like to change that hot chocolate to a Godiva hot chocolate?"

For 10 cents more, I might add. Wow. How about a "I'll share your concerns with corporate?" Sigh.

The poor guy checking me out after the manager took my order said, oh so tentatively, "would at boss fearfully)...your Barnes and Noble card...I'msosorryIhavetosaythis (looks fearfully as boss again)." I said, "I know, and no I wouldn't." And smiled reassuredly, because I don't ever think the person does wrong by saying it; I think the company does wrong by asking them to. And what a horrible boss, that the employee looked at her and at me, and decided to do the very thing I had just complained about, because he was more scared of her than me, the customer who dared complain.

I will continue to dare complain, though, because dammit, if I want a grande/pastry with that/credit card, I'm a big girl and can let them know. The question, "can I get you anything else?" doesn't bother me, but beyond that, I am there to enjoy my coffee, not a sales pitch, and I'm tired of letting companies sales pitch to me because I am too polite to call them on it. So I'll be calling them on it. Politely, of course. (Unless they are impolite in response, in which case they get to hear my "I'm not stupid and I can read the sign" speech. Lucky them.

Maybe you'll be the lucky person behind me in line. Because while the manager might not always chuckle, the other customers do without fail. :)


My House

My house is a wreck! I've been having some health issues (nothing serious, we think) that make me feel exhausted and mean a doctor's appointment or two every week. Between the extra time spent at the doctor's office, giving blood, and filling prescriptions, and the time spent just exhausted from being sick, I have no energy left to clean the house. The Christmas tree is still up! How embarrassing is that?

I really need to get on it, because the condition of my house is gross, but I am so tired and busy.


Friday, January 11, 2008


This was a comment on my blog, but since many of you don't read the comments:

"Check out the new Alumni section of the NEW and IMPROVED" -Anonymous

And I have, and I really like the new site!


Answering A Comment

A poster asked an interesting question in the comments to this post:

You might want to refresh by reading the original post and the comments in order to understand the response I am about to give.

Her final question was in response to something I said. I said, "I didn't say that I think it's okay for people to murder their children, nor do I think it's OK for people to choose to murder their own children."

She responded, "Then why do you consider yourself pro-choice? (I am genuinely confused...)"

First, let me say that my originally post was not in anyway intended to be a political one, or a debate sort of post about either pro-life versus pro-choice, or a questioning of my choice to have a D&C. It was a reflection on how the D&C made me feel, and places where it affirmed my moral beliefs, and places where it shaped and changed them in my mind.

But I'll readily admit I used a hot button word, "pro-choice," and I guess that gets people's attention. I didn't intend that...I simply intended to explore my feelings.

However, I will explain what I mean, because I try to respond to comments and keep a back and forth going on my blog. :)

I think is that it is extremely hard to tell sometimes if a baby is still alive or not, and that decision (whether the baby is alive...not whether there should be an abortion) is better made by medical professionals and patients rather than legislators. My fear of anti-abortion laws is that the government, if it tells us when to not terminate a pregnancy (and I did terminate the pregnancy, which was not terminating on its own and causing me major medical complications that I am still dealing with today, even though the baby had long since died), a woman may be faced with life-threatening complications EVEN THOUGH THERE IS NOT A LIVING BABY TO PROTECT. I don't think it's the government's job to tell us how to handle our medical care. I think, in fact, that is DANGEROUS to let the government tell us how to handle our pregnancies (as well as end of life decisions).

I'm not pro-choice because I ever believe a person should ever have an abortion. I am pro-choice because I believe the government needs to stay out of our doctor's offices, and instead, doctors and individuals have to take reasoned, moral stands to protect life.

I imagine in horror a world where the government comes in and says that a woman must deliver via c-section, because some study says that c-section babies have better outcomes, and the woman gets forcibly cut open, even though she believes that she should have a natural childbirth. (I'm not saying the study exists, or not. I am saying that I'm scared of the government's response if it does exist.) Heck, I'm even more scared that the government will stop all epidurals, because some politician decides it's better not to have pain meds. I should decide that, with my doctor, my husband, my Church...not my President or my Senator.

I imagine a world where the government forces me to use, or not to use, birth control. Either way is unacceptable. I will not use hormonal birth control again, and if you let the government get involved in pregnancies, they could force me to do so.

I imagine a world where the government forces breastfeeding, or formula-feeding, or public-schooling, or home-schooling.

I imagine a world where the government decides what Ander should and shouldn't learn.

That world is not hard to imagine. It already exists, in many ways.

So while I consider myself 100% pro-life (life begins at conception, the end of life should be God-induced and not human-induced, my personal morals forbid me from getting or assisting a person in getting an abortion, I oppose the death penalty, and I feel a moral and ethical obligation to support adoption options - which I actively do through my career), I am pro-choice (for want of a better description) because I don't want the government to decide when a D&C (or other procedure terminating a pregnancy, even if it does not terminate a life) is warranted and appropriate, morally or otherwise. Pro-choice is the political buzzword that is used to describe people who don't want the termination of pregnancy decision to be the government's decision, but I would prefer pro-life, but anti-government interference in beginning and end of life issues, as those are moral and family issues where minimal interference and much prayer is most appropriate.

The other aspect of this is that, as a Catholic Christian, it is difficult for me to call a person who does have or support abortion (not that I am or will ever be one of those people) a murderer. How can something be murder, if your conscience and your church (small "c" - whatever your church is) does not teach it is so? Under Catholic doctrine, to be morally reprehensible, a person must be aware of the immorality of their act. I don't think Jesus Christ would go around calling people murderers because they had abortions. I think he would educate them on the sanctity of life. And if you start with the word murder, they often stop listening, and at that point, there is no educating.

There is another entire aspect to this. I know there are women with missed miscarriages who cannot tell if the baby has stopped living for many weeks, and sometimes months. I cannot imagine their pain. I also know that there are women who would truly rather miscarry at home. Just as I think it's not the government's business to decide when the baby's soul is gone to God, I don't think it's their business to tell these women they must have a D&C, even if these women hold off the D&C to the point of risking their lives. The women are entitled to wait for a miracle, at any costs.

There was no miracle available in my case. I prayed about it. More than I've ever prayed before. I was already having major problems, and am currently seeing a doctor for serious problems arising out of the miscarriage. Going longer before the D&C was not an option for me. I know that God gave me an answer.

Did you know that the Church does not teach that my baby's soul goes to Heaven? I researched it extensively. I think the Church is wrong. I named the baby Grace Pax (Grace and Peace) because I think God can give grace and receive the baby into Heaven. It's not the only thing I think the Church is wrong about, BTW. It's just the latest one. Voting pro-life is another one (because I truly believe that being and acting and living a pro-life life is important, and leaving Caesar to deal with his business and God and the disciplines of God on Earth to deal with God's business is the way to honor God).

This is probably more of an explanation than any of my loyal readers expected. Frankly, it's probably more revealing of my religion beliefs than I've ever revealed before. But I think it's important stuff to say, both for other women suffering miscarriage who might stumble upon my site, and for my loyal readers, some of whom only get to really know me through this weird, long-distance relationship of the internet.

I didn't proof this, BTW, so forgive any typos. ;)


Thursday, January 10, 2008

I Don't Think I Won The Powerball

If I did, Alan failed to tell me about it.

Alan is changing his work hours. He is now working from 7:30 a.m. until 4 p.m. Since he's an early bird whether he has work or not, and since traffic in Baton Rouge is significantly better at 7 a.m. and 4 p.m. than it is at 7:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m., it should be a very good thing. The new Governor will probably call a couple of special sessions, though, and that will mean extra overtime for Alan. Great moneywise, but horrible timewise.


Wednesday, January 9, 2008

On Of Those Mornings

...when everything goes right. I am so going to win the Powerball tonight. I can just feel it.

Ander was so well behaved. He sat on the couch and watched tv while I showered and, gasp, put on make-up. He got dressed without any fight. He was just really, really good. Also, I got plenty of sleep last night (about time that happens) and I have a new outfit to wear today. (All my clothes are too big and falling off, so I was forced to shop. I bought 2 outfits so far. Three more and I'll actually have something to wear to work everyday.)

My coffee (from McDonald's) was hot and tasty.

And I've caught up on meeting my billable goal, after a couple of days that left me slightly off track, so if I just stay on track today, I'll meet my goal for this week, and maybe even get ahead.

Well, back to work.


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I'm Swamped At Work

No big surprise, right? But I'm really trying to bill a certain amount each month, and since I'm one of those rare lawyers who only bills for work I actually do, it takes a lot of effort. Even more when I have two doctor's appointments this week and one week after next, and that's just normal stuff. What happens when I get pregnant again? Oh, and I really should see a dentist soon.

How do people on this CW show I'm watching (that I have no idea what it is but really like) have such good hair? (Oh, it's apparently One Tree Hill.)

I want good hair.


Monday, January 7, 2008

Sunday, January 6, 2008


Or maybe at least a vegetarian? Alan and I went to Cabelo's last night. I know, I know. We asked for it. But the fudge was delicious and the fish were great.

The problem started, though, in the parking lot. Our car is too little and gets lost and lonely among those gas guzzling big trucks. Now, I'm from the South. I thought I was used to big trucks. I thought I could get past the harm to the environment, by contemplating how all these people probably use those trucks to build there own homes and tow stranded people off the side of the road. Nope. All I could think is, "wow, we are killing the earth."

Then there was the gun check. Yep, please check your guns here. And no one actually manning the desk or actually stopping to check their guns. Scare-ree. I've read and studied the Second Amendment. I support the Second Amendment. I do not share the NRA's view that the Second Amendment means everyone should be entitled to own any gun, but I do think the Constitution makes it clear that we should be entitled to bear arms. I don't, however, think we should be absolutely entitled to use them, until and unless necessity arises, including the necessity to rise up against a tyrannical government. Oh, and I'll will concede that the Bush administration has done a great job of approaching the level of tyrannical, but even they have failed to reach that level. But, hey, I knew what I was walking into, know thou enemy and all that, so I pushed forward.

I found myself in front of the Dead Animal Exhibit (okay, so to be fair, that's not what the store calls the exhibit). My 1-year-old is oohing and aahing the cool animals. I am explaining that the Polar Bear is an endangered species, almost crying, and contemplating vegetarianism. And I don't even like animals.


So you should do everything once, right?


Saturday, January 5, 2008

Now That's Just Embarrassing

Tom: "What are you watching, Kristy?"

Kristy: Silence, stares carefully in the other direction.

Tom: "Is that a beauty contest?"

Kristy: Silence continues.

Alan: "It's a reality show about a beauty contest." Triumphant grin.

Kristy: Blushes in shame and ducks head down.


Friday, January 4, 2008

Translator Needed

"I tee tee."

"What's wrong with your tv, baby?"

Little hands in air. "I tee tee."

"You want me to change the channel?"

Little hands wave frantically in the air. "I tee tee."

"Put the tv louder? Turn it off?"

Little eyes roll. Little hands wave wildly. "Noooooo, I sti-ick-eeee!"

Oh, of course. May I wash your little hands, which clearly suddenly became sticky from, um, I guess from eating that bite of cereal off of my spoon that didn't touch your hands at all.

Little mouth smiles in glee. Little hands rub against dampened paper towel. Little feet run back to living room and resume ignoring mommy and watching tee tee.


Sallie Mae

I know I complain alot about things that drive me crazy. But that's what my blog is for, right? Throwing stones?

Today's stones are headed for Sallie Mae.

Ms. Mae made an agreement with us that we would receive a rate reduction upon timely payment of our loan for 48 months. This is month 49, with every payment timely, and no rate reduction was applied to our account. Alan wrote to the company.

After Hurricane Katrina, we, the residents of Baton Rouge who didn't need it, were automatically granted a 6 month forebearance. We had no choice in the matter. Interest was still collected during the forebearance period. In addition, we continued to pay our bill in a timely manner. That's right - we skipped no payments, even though we could.

Ms. Mae will not count those payments during the mandatory, not-agreed-to-by-us forebearance period towards the discount. Oh, and the time it takes to fight this stupid policy of not counting our payments towards the discount because of something Ms. Mae did on her own and without our request or consent...worth more than the value of the rate reduction. So we lose money if we fight the policy.

Ms. Mae is a very bad lady.


Presidential Candidates

I kind of hate how other states choose the candidates for President long before Louisiana's primary generally would have any effect. Not that I generally think they do a bad job. It's just that my favorite candidate usually doesn't get picked.

This year, I have no idea who my favorites are anyway, so I guess for now, it doesn't matter. But I like to be heard.


Thursday, January 3, 2008

Starbucks Is Unacceptable

I mean, why can't they just be better, if they are going to charge so much and be on every freakin' corner. I walked out without buying anything today.

I go to Starbucks ocassionally. They always have an empty table, even when CC's is packed, so they are my back-up plan. They make a mean eggnog latte, though CC's does now, too. And some of my friends like to go there. One friend in particular wants to go there all the time, and I always have a good time with her. If you are not studying or working, it's a quiet place to hang out. I can't stand the straight coffee there, but the (more fatty and therefore usually avoided) fancy drinks are pretty good. And E and the husbands and kids went there with me last week, and it was great (except for the lack of a changing table).

But today, Starbucks proved unacceptable again. First, they have no microwaves. Have you tasted a cold, unwarmed croissant? Second, and more important, they have no wi-fi at the Starbucks in Gonzales. How crazy is that? After asking both questions and getting two no answers, I smiled politely, and walked out.


Wednesday, January 2, 2008

I Never Cook

But I just got up, added salt, red pepper flakes, black pepper (from a grinder...fancy, aye?), and minced garlic (from a jar, of course) to a rump roast, and tossed the roast into a crockpot with about a cup of water. I turned the crockpot on low. Ander poured in the water, actually, because he likes to *cook*. It all took about two minutes. Literally two minutes, and that includes the 40 seconds it took to wash my hands before and after handling the food.

My aunt, who made this Garlic Pull-Apart Roast on Christmas Eve, swears I cannot mess it up. (Though her and another aunt both laughed pretty hard during my SECOND phone call about how to do this. :)) When I get home from work, I'll pull it apart, add the gravy mix (watered down for pouring), and let it cook for another 20-30 minutes to combine the gravy mix with the juices and to thicken the juices. That should take another 10 minutes of work. The only part that should take real time is putting away some of this roast in the freezer for other suppers. Assuming, obviously, that the roast is edible.


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

If Someone Didn't Like You...

...would you rather live in ignorance or know about it?

I'd much rather live in ignorance. After all, unless I was being intentionally mean to the person in some way, their like or dislike is about their taste and isn't personal, and certainly isn't something I can change.

I remember someone once told me (it's one of my loyal readers, so I hope she'll forgive me for posting this...she'll know who she is...but it makes it easier to explain my perspective on something unrelated to her that happened recently) that she didn't like me the first time she met me, but she likes me now. (And it is clear that she likes me now.) And when she told me this, I was actually quite hurt. Not because she didn't like me initially ('cause liking or not liking a person is akin to liking or not liking's not something you choose) problem was that she they thought it was okay to give me that info. In retrospect, my loyal reader was complementing me. Despite a bad first impression, she grew to like me, and that's a wonderful thing. But that didn't make the fact that she told me sting any less. I just thought, if you like me, then why rub in that you didn't at one time? In that instant, I couldn't see the bigger picture or the compliment.

So this week, when a friend revealed that one of his friends (who I only know through him, never see independently, and barely know) doesn't like me, it wasn't that the barely-known person doesn't like me that was the problem. (After all, 1) the barely-known person barely knows me, 2) she and I really do have little in common, as far as I can tell, which is why I haven't sought out her company, and 3) chemistry is what it is...many a nice guy has asked me out, and I said no just based on chemistry.) It's that my friend didn't see the need to protect me from negative information that was useless and that I couldn't change. I mean, surely if I was inadvertantly saying something offensive (ie. mocking a religion that the person held), a friend would clue me in. I could change that. If I was wearing inappropriate clothing (ie. I put on black tie and my friend realizes I must not know the wedding is on the beach), a friend lets you know.

But if you cannot change something, then there is no need to share negative information. Now I'll always hope it is just a chemistry issue, but always wonder if I hurt the barely-known individual in some way. I would never want to or intentionally hurt her, of course, but it's also not appropriate to address it in any way, as I shouldn't, by all measures, even know that she dislikes me. And I have no desire for a relationship with her (and never have, if I am to be honest). So calling to apologize or smoothe things over would be weird.

Instead, I'll now be uncomfortable when I bump into her in public, whereas before, we could just be polite to each other. In fact, that is precisely what we used to do.

I definitely am a strong personality, and I get that some people love that and some people hate that. I'd prefer to be loved or hated over being unremarkable and not considered at all.

But if you or someone you know doesn't like me, well, keep it to yourself. There's no need for me to know.

I will grant each of you the same courtesy. Where I happen to know that two people are incompatiable with each other, I will not bring it up, rub it in, or make a deal of it. I will expect everyone to be polite to everyone else, but otherwise, you don't need to know if someone likes you or not. After all, what would you change? Chemistry? I don't think so.


My Favorite Mug

I have this one coffee mug. It's cream colored with a tiny blue line around the rim - nothing special. But it's thin at the rim and thicker otherwise, and the handle is slighty larger than most coffee cups, and it holds about an ounce more coffee than most coffee cups. I only have one of these cups, as a student gave it to me when I was teaching with some packets of cocoa in it.

I like this cup so much that I rarely drink coffee at home unless this cup is clean.

Is that weird?


Daddy Is Funny

Ander is being a brat and trying to cling to Daddy.

Daddy says sarcastically, "you're trying to stick your face up my butt."

Ander considers carefully for a moment, says "okay, " and tries to take off Daddy's pants.

Funny stuff.



2008 is not even 12 hours old, and I've already done at least one thing I've never done before. I've also woke up in the worse mood. I have a bit of a cold. I didn't get enough sleep last night - who did? A "friend" was not very nice to me. Alan is in a work, work, work mode. Sigh. I'm tired and cranky. I prefer to spread work out and do a little each day. But Alan cannot/will not work that way, and if I cram in everything we have to do today and don't get over this funk and exhaustion, I will never do well at work tomorrow. Tomorrow is the first day of my new business plan, so it's important that I do well.

I need another week off.