My Case Against An Only Child | Giftie Etcetera: My Case Against An Only Child

Monday, May 19, 2008

My Case Against An Only Child

My husband. (Case closed and I win, right? ;))

My husband really struggles with balancing more than one person at a time. He was an only child and all the focus was on him. He didn't turn out incredibly spoiled or anything (though he was a little spoiled), but he is not always considerate of others. That is not to say that he is inconsiderate. It's just that, once he sees a possible way of doing something, it is stressful for him to ever change course.

He drives to work the same way every single day. If I ever offered a reason to drive another way (run an errand, see a beautiful and rare sight, or a massive wreck on the interstate, he probably would still drive the same way.

Yesterday, he decided he was going to clean my car. Very sweet. Except when I suggested that, instead, he spend actual time with me, he couldn't change course. It was visibly stressful for him. After all, his mom is coming, and she will see the dirty car. And he needed to spend the rest of the day with Ander.

He has no sense of balance when more than one person is involved. I suspect that if he grew up with a sibling (he has a half sibling, but did not grow up with him), he'd have to know how to balance others into the equation.

Anyhow, I'm glad we won't have an only child. It's not that an only child is so horrible, or anything; it's just that Ander will have to learn compromise, consideration, and balance.



fairyhedgehog said...

My husband is an only child and while he has his faults, they are different from your husband's fault.

Although that doubles your sample size, I'm not sure that it is entirely compelling evidence either way.

But being an only is lonely, my husband says. And my boys like having each other, even now when they're grown up. They know they've got someone to turn to of their own age.

Anonymous said...

although I wasn't sure I'd like having two boys, I think it's been great for both of them. For the older one, he's had to learn what it means to share and be patient. (it's still a process!!) and the younger one got to experience fun "boy" things/toys before we knew he'd be ready. J loves following his big brother around the house and Z loves making him laugh. It's cute. Having a second child was the best thing for Z's language development as well. He's forced to speak up!