Discipline | Giftie Etcetera: Discipline

Sunday, April 29, 2007


So we are really working on several things. One is putting Tigger "night night." I give Tigger a "spot" (pillow, as Ander's learns in Grandma's daycare) in the crib, kiss him, tuck him in, and say "night night." Then Ander and I leave quietly so Tigger can night night. Since Ander only goes to sleep after a bath on the floor in the living room, I'm really working on making him want the crib. I'm starting with tucking Tigger in, and we'll work up to tucking Ander in. Hopefully. Someday.

We are still saying "no no" and redirecting for things like hitting, biting, and pulling on blinds (thank you Rach for adding that one), and if Ander then immediately disobeys, he gets a short (10 second or so) time out in the corner. It really is working well, and we almost never have to actually use time out, since he listens very well. (Oh, he forgets 20 seconds later, but that's not the same thing, yet, as disobeying right when mommy says no no.) It helps that we are really, really consistent about putting him in timeout when he chooses to ignore a no no. He's learning really fast, which is shocking me because everything I read says that babies his age don't learn from timeout, and really Alan and I were using it more for our practice (so we learn to be consistent) and to remove him from the area than for his immediate benefit at this point. But at least as to Ander, the books and experts are wrong. He is responding, and continuing to be a happy, adventurous kid!

I'm also teaching him to hold his sippy with his hands (and opposed to just his teeth). He is getting really good about "use your hands, Ander." If he doesn't, we take the sippy away for a few seconds (maybe 30-40) and then try again. He always does it the second time.

Perhaps my two biggest challenges right now are respecting Ander's no (that is, I plan to not do something, at least immediately, when he says no until he figures out what it means) and not responding to tantrums. I tend to know when he doesn't actually mean no and try to do what he actually wants. But I am going to stop doing that. If I ask if he wants a cracker, he can either say "yes" or nothing or "crack crack" (which is the CUTEST thing, BTW) and get a cracker. But if he says no, he will have to wait a little and then I'll ask again.

Not responding to tantrums is hard. Sometimes, I have to physically turn my back because I am laughing so hard. And it's difficult not to just give in and comfort him, especially when he really is upset. But I do not want to encourage the behavior. So I wait it out. Once he is calm, I offer him a distraction and kiss and cuddle and praise my happy, nice baby. So far, we are at about one tantrum (sometimes little itty bitty) a day. We shall see.


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