Being More Than A Mom | Giftie Etcetera: Being More Than A Mom

Monday, April 30, 2007

Being More Than A Mom

I really am determined to keep my own personality now that I'm a mom. I try to have interests that don't involve Ander and to have adult conversations about things other than kids.

It's important, but so darn hard.

So I'll take suggestions for adult things to talk about.

There must be such things, right?



Mathochist said...

I cannot help you with this one, because I don't agree that it's important. I find that if there's something out there that the old me would have loved to do, but it's not kid friendly, it just doesn't have the same appeal any more. Also, after 9 years of infertilty, it's nice to be able to have conversations about kids without the all-consuming ache in my heart that used to come along with them.

Nevertheless I'll give it a shot. Oh - I heard LSMSA is taking apps for a 10th grade class for next year. (Oh, wait, that involves kids too... Guess I really CAN'T think of anything!)

Mamaebeth said...

i don't think becoming a mom changes your personality... your interests, yes, but not your personality.

when i was going through my old blog i was dissapointed to see that i didn't talk about JD as much as i thought i did. there was all this other junk that a year or two later, i just don't care about.

hmmm, what to talk about??? your inlaws... cause, i had a stressful week-end and it's nice to have someone to vent to.

Giftie Etcetera said...

I actually think it changed my personality a lot. I think I'm much more laid back. 'Course, that others seem not to think so might be a bad sign. :/ :)

But, oh yah, it's so important to me. I still love doing things without Ander occassionally. On days when I don't get any free time in, I am very cranky!

Janelle smells said...

There is a such thing as free time?? It seems like I have had kids since I was 12 HAHAHA. What do you do during this mysterious "free time" OH... by the way. Where is my link girl? :D

Giftie Etcetera said...

You're crazy cat lady, aren't you? Oh, wair, or not. I'm confused. But I think you are linked.

Frog said...

I LOVE being a mom more than anything, but I do think there are things that are important without your children. I think that you and your husband have to have time alone too! I have 9 hours of me time every day. That involves working, but Tad isn't there. When I'm home after that, I spend it with him. I bring him walking, etc. I do try and get him to bed between 8-9 and that gives me time after that for me. I've only had one free weekend since tax season just ended, but it also involves him. We do things without him too. This weekend we went to a party and we had a babysitter. It was nice to have adult conversation and enjoy time out. Maybe since I got pregnant pretty fast I have a different outlook on it.

Let's see what you can talk about! Reading, gardening... can't think of anything else right now

Rachel said...

Hmm, we can talk about the weather... Or politics, or interior decoration. If I tell you about the cake I just baked, but I only baked it because my son wanted to, does that count as none-child centered?
But I understand where you're coming from. Now that I'm staying home, it often feels like all I think or talk about is my child, my pets, and my household. All interesting, but I don't want to shrink to where that's all I care about.

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a great topic. Your blog really got me thinking about the "me" time that I get. While I love nothing more than being at the ballpark and following the kids around with their activities, I do realize the importance of having "my time" and Keith having "his time" and us having "our time." Me, I work bingo and I get paid to be around other people and generally have a good time. I also do pokeno once a month...yes, it's an old lady thing to do, but I enjoy it. Keith goes on fishing weekends and does football stuff all year long. He's not a sit at home and read type of person, but rather a go out and do kind of person. Our time is spent at least once a month when we go out alone, without the kids, and everynight before we go to bed.
Anyway, in order to have adult conversations, you have to put yourself in the right atmosphere. I rarely ever talk about my kids at's more about work, and growing up, and how much of a jerk our boss is ;) Also, I take guilty pleasure in going to chat rooms and talking about sports and political stuff with other people.
It's hard to find the time, but it can be done...even with 3 kids and a full schedule.

Mathochist said...

"On days when I don't get any free time in, I am very cranky!"

Oh, me too. I just don't equate "free time" with "outside interests," I guess. (And I what I meant to say was that outside interests weren't important to me, not that they shouldn't be important to you. But re-reading my original comment I realize I may not have come across that way.) My "free time" activities include things like long baths where I actually get to shave my legs, curling up on the couch with a book, checking out peoples' blogs or catching up on email, playing a computer game, calling a friend on the phone, prayer, even cleaning the kitchen without interruptions (which is kind of amusing since I used to invent interruptions so I could avoid that!)...

"What do you do during this mysterious 'free time'"
Ditto - I'm really curious. ;)

"I think that you and your husband have to have time alone too!"

I couldn't agree more!!! I truly believe a good, healthy, stable, loving parental relationship is one of the best gifts you can give to your child(ren).

"It was nice to have adult conversation and enjoy time out. Maybe since I got pregnant pretty fast I have a different outlook on it."

Maybe. Or maybe it's in part the differences in the kids' personalities. When Sammy was a baby I had to work, and to me there was nothing more appealing outside of work than spending every minute I could with him. He hated being left at daycare, and still does not like being separated from Mama. So going out without him is not enjoyable for me, it's actually rather stressful. He is just now getting to where he will willingly leave the house with his Daddy but without me. Katie OTOH was not the same way; unless she's sick or teething she's OK if I'm gone for a while.

Giftie Etcetera said...

"long baths where I actually get to shave my legs" -Stac C.

Other moms actually have time to do that? WTF?!? :)