"My sister doesn't date gifties." -me
"Way to beat a girl, Mr. Uncle Tom." -me
"Could we call that safe due to douch baggedness?" -EBeth
"I can't go to Sammy's. My cat needs his gonads out by Friday." -Dave
I apologize that these are approximations. I was so excited by the game that I can't remember the exact quotes. These are good approximations, though.
Etcetera.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Know Your Enemy
I recently commented on a friend's blog a suggestion that she read a story by Orson Scott Card as a starting point for a discussion with her pre-teen child. One of her readers commented back that Card is a homophobe.
Maybe. I don't know and the recommendation to just "google it" doesn't, for me, constitute sufficient proof. Card is Mormon and the Church of Latter Day Saints teaches against homosexual behavior, so an anti-homosexual rights position would not shock me. Actual fear of homosexuality? That would be difficult for me to believe of someone who rights such open-minded stories, but I'm not saying it is impossible. I'm just saying that I do not know.
Still, I stand by my recommendation that my blog friend read the book.
I've read books by Klan members and racists. I've read many a book by a sexist pig. I have certainly read books by people with different political or social positions than mine.
You do not have to agree with someone, or even respect them or their positions, to learn from them. If I only read books by authors that held the same world view and sense of right and wrong as I do, I'd never read anything. I am saddened when people close their minds because of a perception of someone else, substantiated or not. Obviously, if you don't respect someone, you look at their body of work differently and more critically. That makes perfect sense to me.
But to not look at their work at all. To not know and explore the opinions of people with whom you agree and people with whom you disagree. That's closing lots of intellectual doors that are better left open.
Etcetera.
Maybe. I don't know and the recommendation to just "google it" doesn't, for me, constitute sufficient proof. Card is Mormon and the Church of Latter Day Saints teaches against homosexual behavior, so an anti-homosexual rights position would not shock me. Actual fear of homosexuality? That would be difficult for me to believe of someone who rights such open-minded stories, but I'm not saying it is impossible. I'm just saying that I do not know.
Still, I stand by my recommendation that my blog friend read the book.
I've read books by Klan members and racists. I've read many a book by a sexist pig. I have certainly read books by people with different political or social positions than mine.
You do not have to agree with someone, or even respect them or their positions, to learn from them. If I only read books by authors that held the same world view and sense of right and wrong as I do, I'd never read anything. I am saddened when people close their minds because of a perception of someone else, substantiated or not. Obviously, if you don't respect someone, you look at their body of work differently and more critically. That makes perfect sense to me.
But to not look at their work at all. To not know and explore the opinions of people with whom you agree and people with whom you disagree. That's closing lots of intellectual doors that are better left open.
Etcetera.
E-Communication
One of my friends barely uses the interweb to communicate. She was willing to read my blog for pregnancy updates, but that was as a favor to me so I didn't have to call her with updates. Another friend doesn't read blogs. His wife does, so sometimes he gets updated on goings on. But sometimes, he doesn't stay up-to-date. One client much prefers to call me with information than to e-mail me. That's fine during office hours, but he works during the day and calls as I am leaving the office. I've encouraged e-mail. He uses it, but he forgets to use it sometimes.
All of these people answer their phones. They are willing to visit and make plans and chat. They just aren't e-connected.
Drives me crazy! I really don't realize just how much I e-communicate until I try to make plans with one of them. I can't just e-mail. Want to get coffee on Tuesday? I HAVE to call them. Need a document before I can file the court papers? I have to pick up the phone. I am so connected on-line that I barely want to pick up a phone these days. I am aware the world does not revolve around me (despite the impression my loyal readers might have from reading my blog ;)), but I can still hope the people in my life start relying on e-mail, right?
Etcetera.
All of these people answer their phones. They are willing to visit and make plans and chat. They just aren't e-connected.
Drives me crazy! I really don't realize just how much I e-communicate until I try to make plans with one of them. I can't just e-mail. Want to get coffee on Tuesday? I HAVE to call them. Need a document before I can file the court papers? I have to pick up the phone. I am so connected on-line that I barely want to pick up a phone these days. I am aware the world does not revolve around me (despite the impression my loyal readers might have from reading my blog ;)), but I can still hope the people in my life start relying on e-mail, right?
Etcetera.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Bodily Fluids
It's 1:30 p.m. So far, I've spilled breast milk all over my shirt and pants - twice. I've been pooped ALL OVER once. And I've been bled on twice. Awe...some.
:(
So much for catching up with the laundry this weekend, eh?
Loki went to the doctor again to be weighed, since he wasn't gaining weight before. He is finally above his birth weight, three weeks later. Yippee. No more weight checks, though his next office visit is next week because it's his one month check-up. Sigh. It was one day too early for today to count as his one month. Fab-u-lous.
Loki has, you guessed it, breastmilk jaundice. You would know that I would choose to breastfeed and the little sucker would get one of the really rare complications of breastmilk, right? Basically, something like 2% of breastfed babies suffer for this (nonthreatening) jaundice. The only real problem is that it can mask real jaundice, which he did have, so they had to vampire his heel again today. Fortunately, my doctor is not concerned. She just said to keep feeding on demand during the day and up to every four hours at night. She said with the weight gain and with the whites of his eyes still white, we are okay if he looks a little like a pumpkin.
Oh, and Loki refused to nurse, three hours after last eating, in the quiet little corner of the doctor waiting area where I had total privacy and Ander had a sucker to keep him occupied. No, no, no. Because life cannot be simple.
An hour later, Loki DEMANDED FOOD NOW. At Highland Coffees. Packed for midterms. In front of my old history professor and some uncomfortable looking (but polite) freshman studying for midtems. Right as Ander announced, really loudly, "I made poo poo." (Might I add there was no need for an announcement. Really, you just had to say, breathe, and you could tell. Unless you were Doris (sans a sense of smell), anyway.) Have I mentioned that I carry an emergency bottle? No? That would be because I forgot to carry one. Ow.
Etcetera.
:(
So much for catching up with the laundry this weekend, eh?
Loki went to the doctor again to be weighed, since he wasn't gaining weight before. He is finally above his birth weight, three weeks later. Yippee. No more weight checks, though his next office visit is next week because it's his one month check-up. Sigh. It was one day too early for today to count as his one month. Fab-u-lous.
Loki has, you guessed it, breastmilk jaundice. You would know that I would choose to breastfeed and the little sucker would get one of the really rare complications of breastmilk, right? Basically, something like 2% of breastfed babies suffer for this (nonthreatening) jaundice. The only real problem is that it can mask real jaundice, which he did have, so they had to vampire his heel again today. Fortunately, my doctor is not concerned. She just said to keep feeding on demand during the day and up to every four hours at night. She said with the weight gain and with the whites of his eyes still white, we are okay if he looks a little like a pumpkin.
Oh, and Loki refused to nurse, three hours after last eating, in the quiet little corner of the doctor waiting area where I had total privacy and Ander had a sucker to keep him occupied. No, no, no. Because life cannot be simple.
An hour later, Loki DEMANDED FOOD NOW. At Highland Coffees. Packed for midterms. In front of my old history professor and some uncomfortable looking (but polite) freshman studying for midtems. Right as Ander announced, really loudly, "I made poo poo." (Might I add there was no need for an announcement. Really, you just had to say, breathe, and you could tell. Unless you were Doris (sans a sense of smell), anyway.) Have I mentioned that I carry an emergency bottle? No? That would be because I forgot to carry one. Ow.
Etcetera.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Loving My Husband
It's not an anniversary or special date, despite the props that I am about to give out.
I've spent the day with my husband, but really, we were rarely in the same room and had zero time to talk. He let me sleep until 9 a.m. (bless him!). He fed Loki his 3 a.m. feeding, Ander his breakfast, and did laundry. He cleaned tree parts out of our front lawn. He helped spray down Ander after the ant incident (poor boy got eaten up). He changed sheets, picked out Halloween costumes, and unloaded groceries. He took a nap, but barely complained at all when I ruined it by letting the baby cry in the room. Yet, I look across the house at him, buzzing in and out of the bedroom, saving laundry and getting things ready for work tomorrow...and I realize how much he means to me.
It's not the stuff he does, though thank God for the stuff he does.
It's not his cute smile or sense of humor or gentle, strong hug when I'm stressed.
It's not that he goes to work everyday, when all he really wants to do is lay on the couch and play with the kids.
It's just him. He grabs my hand and I know things will be okay. He smiles and I know that our kids are blessed. He is somewhere in the house, the state, the other end of my e-mail account, and I know I am never alone.
Just in case I haven't said it enough, I have the best husband in the world. (He's a pretty fine daddy, too.)
Etcetera.
I've spent the day with my husband, but really, we were rarely in the same room and had zero time to talk. He let me sleep until 9 a.m. (bless him!). He fed Loki his 3 a.m. feeding, Ander his breakfast, and did laundry. He cleaned tree parts out of our front lawn. He helped spray down Ander after the ant incident (poor boy got eaten up). He changed sheets, picked out Halloween costumes, and unloaded groceries. He took a nap, but barely complained at all when I ruined it by letting the baby cry in the room. Yet, I look across the house at him, buzzing in and out of the bedroom, saving laundry and getting things ready for work tomorrow...and I realize how much he means to me.
It's not the stuff he does, though thank God for the stuff he does.
It's not his cute smile or sense of humor or gentle, strong hug when I'm stressed.
It's not that he goes to work everyday, when all he really wants to do is lay on the couch and play with the kids.
It's just him. He grabs my hand and I know things will be okay. He smiles and I know that our kids are blessed. He is somewhere in the house, the state, the other end of my e-mail account, and I know I am never alone.
Just in case I haven't said it enough, I have the best husband in the world. (He's a pretty fine daddy, too.)
Etcetera.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Failure to Share Useful Information
I would say, at this point, I am exclusively breastfeeding. Who would have thought, me, breastfeeding? Five years ago, it would not have occurred to me to breastfeed. I still think formula is pretty okay. I would NEVER try to talk a friend into breastfeeding. It's sort of like preaching about Jesus. I never did buy that you get someone to believe in Jesus by TELLING THEM TO BELIEVE. People who really believe, and live a peaceful, loving life, were always the people that made me believe. Preaching never worked. Showing did. Evne my atheist friends, when they live a positive, loving life, remind me of why I believe Jesus exists. Who but God could make someone without a belief in God still know how to be a good person? That is a miracle!
So how do I show people that breastfeeding is good? I blog ('cause you don't have to read a blog unless you choose to) and I feed and I support. I am honest about the pros AND the cons. (No one ever said being a Christian is easy. To have to follow the rules all the time - it sucks! To be attached at the booby all the time -it sucks, too...no pun intended.) If someone is going to choose to breastfeed and put in all the required hard work, I want them to know what they are getting into, so they can succeed.
Unfortunately, I'm feeling like I am in the minority. You see, I am finding that when I seek out advice, I get a guilt-trip. I do NOT feel guilty about the way I am exclusively breastfeeding. I do NOT feel guilty about using a nipple shield or pumping a nighttime bottle or minimizing public nursing or covering-up or trying to create a schedule instead of purely feeding on demand. My way might not work. I get that. It's risky. But my baby, other than 24 hours at home for jaundice (while I continued to pump every 3 hours) and a tiny bit of formula in the hospital over three days (always mixed with breastmilk) in an attempt to allow my baby to NOT be strapped, down to bili lights, has only had breastmilk. I definitely would call that exclusively breastfed. But some psychos out there will not answer my questions, because I am not constantly baby-wearing (I use my sling mostly only for public nursing), because I am using a nipple shield (apparently, S-I-N-F-U-L...who know? LMAO), and because daddy is bottle-feeding. Oh, yah, and because I am not baring my breasts, which are "not sexual objects"...didn't I know? [Of course they are sexual. Are you joking? Can't breastfeeding be natural and my boobs be sexual? Why can't they be both?]
Let me take a second to say my real-life friends have been INCREDIBLY SUPPORTIVE! Ebeth, Stac and Stac, Leah, my LSMSA peeps, Rach, Paca, and even my "nonbreastfeeding leaning peeps" like Michelle and Brien (though Brien's nonleaning comes more from his lack of breasts, I suspect ;))...you've all offered great advice and no judgment, even when I KNOW you have a different philosophy than I do about some aspect of nursing, like extended feeding or public nursing. Thanks.
But on-line and with strangers, even of the support breastfeeding persuasion, people are judgmental. Do NOT use a nipple shield (with no explanation...thanks, Bethany of LSMSA, for actually taking the time to give me the information and an explanation so I can decide for myself). No need to cover up. (Of course there is. If mom is going to be uncomfortable uncovered, then covering up only helps the nursing relationship. It's common sense. D'uh. Being a mom doesn't make me a different person. And I'm not saying you have to cover up. I am saying that I have to cover up.) The LLL website doesn't do a good job, at all, of supporting combo feeding. I'm a working mom! I have an involved daddy who wants to feed the baby. I have health issues that require sleep (a bit, at least) if I am to survive. Combo feeding (and come on, people, it's with BREASTMILK...though formula would be okay with me) is my solution to the inability and inadequancy of my character that keeps me from being a 24/7 stay-at-home mommy. (Yes, I said inadequacy of character. I am an honest woman. LOL.)
Some of the judgment sort are really smart. They know tons about breastfeeding. They just can't get over themselves enough to share the knowledge. It's like it's 100% or 0%. Either you sit all day, nursing on your couch on demand and with your top off, or you are a failure. Well, they are the failures. Their extreme position and narrow thinking means that they are putting women in the position of remaining uneducated about breastfeeding OPTIONS. Yes, I said it. There are OPTIONS. And more babies would get more breastmilk if women were encouraged to exercise the options.
I know all this breastfeeding blogging is getting old. Goodness, Kristy, talk about something otherthan your boobs! :) But, somewhere out there, some woman is reading this. She wants to do the best thing she can for her baby, but she is realistic and doesn't want to burn out. And she stumbles upon this blog. And she realizes she is not alone and that others who preach and make different choices do not get to make her feel guilty. They don't have the power. They SHOULD either share their useful information, without judgment, or feel guilty themselves for discourging breastmilk - however it arrives and however much gets to baby.
So here's my chance to guilt-trip the crazies! Take that, crazies!
For the rest of the world, the saga will continue. Stay tuned.
Etcetera.
So how do I show people that breastfeeding is good? I blog ('cause you don't have to read a blog unless you choose to) and I feed and I support. I am honest about the pros AND the cons. (No one ever said being a Christian is easy. To have to follow the rules all the time - it sucks! To be attached at the booby all the time -it sucks, too...no pun intended.) If someone is going to choose to breastfeed and put in all the required hard work, I want them to know what they are getting into, so they can succeed.
Unfortunately, I'm feeling like I am in the minority. You see, I am finding that when I seek out advice, I get a guilt-trip. I do NOT feel guilty about the way I am exclusively breastfeeding. I do NOT feel guilty about using a nipple shield or pumping a nighttime bottle or minimizing public nursing or covering-up or trying to create a schedule instead of purely feeding on demand. My way might not work. I get that. It's risky. But my baby, other than 24 hours at home for jaundice (while I continued to pump every 3 hours) and a tiny bit of formula in the hospital over three days (always mixed with breastmilk) in an attempt to allow my baby to NOT be strapped, down to bili lights, has only had breastmilk. I definitely would call that exclusively breastfed. But some psychos out there will not answer my questions, because I am not constantly baby-wearing (I use my sling mostly only for public nursing), because I am using a nipple shield (apparently, S-I-N-F-U-L...who know? LMAO), and because daddy is bottle-feeding. Oh, yah, and because I am not baring my breasts, which are "not sexual objects"...didn't I know? [Of course they are sexual. Are you joking? Can't breastfeeding be natural and my boobs be sexual? Why can't they be both?]
Let me take a second to say my real-life friends have been INCREDIBLY SUPPORTIVE! Ebeth, Stac and Stac, Leah, my LSMSA peeps, Rach, Paca, and even my "nonbreastfeeding leaning peeps" like Michelle and Brien (though Brien's nonleaning comes more from his lack of breasts, I suspect ;))...you've all offered great advice and no judgment, even when I KNOW you have a different philosophy than I do about some aspect of nursing, like extended feeding or public nursing. Thanks.
But on-line and with strangers, even of the support breastfeeding persuasion, people are judgmental. Do NOT use a nipple shield (with no explanation...thanks, Bethany of LSMSA, for actually taking the time to give me the information and an explanation so I can decide for myself). No need to cover up. (Of course there is. If mom is going to be uncomfortable uncovered, then covering up only helps the nursing relationship. It's common sense. D'uh. Being a mom doesn't make me a different person. And I'm not saying you have to cover up. I am saying that I have to cover up.) The LLL website doesn't do a good job, at all, of supporting combo feeding. I'm a working mom! I have an involved daddy who wants to feed the baby. I have health issues that require sleep (a bit, at least) if I am to survive. Combo feeding (and come on, people, it's with BREASTMILK...though formula would be okay with me) is my solution to the inability and inadequancy of my character that keeps me from being a 24/7 stay-at-home mommy. (Yes, I said inadequacy of character. I am an honest woman. LOL.)
Some of the judgment sort are really smart. They know tons about breastfeeding. They just can't get over themselves enough to share the knowledge. It's like it's 100% or 0%. Either you sit all day, nursing on your couch on demand and with your top off, or you are a failure. Well, they are the failures. Their extreme position and narrow thinking means that they are putting women in the position of remaining uneducated about breastfeeding OPTIONS. Yes, I said it. There are OPTIONS. And more babies would get more breastmilk if women were encouraged to exercise the options.
I know all this breastfeeding blogging is getting old. Goodness, Kristy, talk about something otherthan your boobs! :) But, somewhere out there, some woman is reading this. She wants to do the best thing she can for her baby, but she is realistic and doesn't want to burn out. And she stumbles upon this blog. And she realizes she is not alone and that others who preach and make different choices do not get to make her feel guilty. They don't have the power. They SHOULD either share their useful information, without judgment, or feel guilty themselves for discourging breastmilk - however it arrives and however much gets to baby.
So here's my chance to guilt-trip the crazies! Take that, crazies!
For the rest of the world, the saga will continue. Stay tuned.
Etcetera.