This could be a snapshot of most days in my marriage, but it actually comes from a conversation that happened this morning.
"See you at 9:40 for the parent-teacher conference."
"9:45."
"9:40."
"9:45"
"9:40"
"9:45"
"I can get out my planner. The meeting is at 9:40."
"Oh. See you at 9:35."
(No husbands were harmed in the making of this blog.)
(Okay, no husbands were permanently harmed in the making of this blog.)
It's frustrating when you write down times so that you can show up without making others wait on you, and those around you don't take that step. You can, of course, try to convert them to the Way of the Planner, but the truth is that some people aren't plannerds at heart. So what can you do?
*Send meeting times or reminders via e-mail or text message.
That way, when your beloved argues about a time, you have evidence that will not just prove you correct, but also save the relationship from the strain of an argument. No need to be snotty about it. Just be matter-of-fact. Show them the message.
*Give them sticky note only access to your planner.
Sticky note only access simply means that they can look at your planner to remember dates, and add them to your planner, but only with a sticky note. You write the time in your own planner, and keep the sticky note to prove their communication later. This lets you keep your own planner organized, but also teaches them how great of a tool a planner can be.
Obviously, only do this with people that you trust. But my eight year old does it all the time and it works.
*Make a note in your planner when you convey appointment or task information.
In the note section of my weekly spread, I write down the date and time that I asked my husband to change the windshield wipers. That way, when I bring my car to the shop and pay someone way too much to change them for me months later, he cannot complain about the cost. He slacked, and I have proof.
I still prefer e-mail proof, but sometimes a jotted note has to do.
*Keep a list of what you are waiting on in your planner.
TIP: Keep a "waiting on" sticky note at all times, with a list of things that you are waiting on from others.
I label mine @, which is my code for pending. I move it from week to week, at the bottom of my weekly spread. Right now, it lists some paperwork that I am waiting on, some small amounts of money owed to me (by my sisters, who always pay, but are a bit unplanned and appreciate that I keep track for them), and a movie that I lent to a friend. That @ spot is another great place to post WHEN you assigned something out.
TIP: If you are constantly waiting on things from people - your spouse, your employee, your boss - then consider a Project called "Waiting On" and make a separate list for each person.
@Spouse @Employee @Boss @Others
*Remember that you have your own quirks, and try to accept theirs as nothing personal.
This last tip is the hardest. It does feel personal when I take the time to plan, communicate, and be on time, and someone else does not show me that courtesy.
But, honestly, my husband of almost 20 years is not likely to change anytime soon. So I have to accept it and work around it, just as he accepts my coffee habit, my moodiness, and my need to socialize in big groups.
Today's planning spread looks completely normal for me.
But look closer.
Today is Sunday the 19th, and the planner really hasn't been updated since Friday. It's messy and crazy and scattered.
But it has not been neglected.
I had a long weekend, bringing my kids to a sitter, traveling all day Saturday to a meeting, and going to church this morning. I certainly used my calendar and my task list, but I didn't have time to stop and think or make a daily list. I made notes at the meeting and follow up lists for Monday morning. I kept track of my calories. I added to my grocery list (especially after The Great Coffee Panic of 2014...no worries, the coffee was in the freezer). I did the must dos.
My planner may look disordered and abandoned this weekend, but it's not. That is what a work horse planner looks like!
Some fun aspects of this week's planner spread:
*Things that still need to be taken care of (done, deleted, delegated, or delayed) are unhighlighted and therefore easy to see.
Unhighlighted stuff starts on Friday's daily page (to the left) and on Saturday and Sunday's weekly squares.
*Undone chores are noted for making a Sunday cleaning plan (on the green sticky on the left).
Lots of chores were undone this week, just because we were out of town yesterday.
TIP: A friend at the Giftie Etcetera Facebook Group suggested putting my chore sticker on a sticky note so I can move it from daily page to daily page. Brilliant!
*Things borrowed are listed on the weekly spread (on the green sticky to the right).
That means that when my sister paid me back for a gift that I bought on her behalf, I could just scratch through it.
*Because Saturday was left blank on purpose, due to an all day meeting, I used that space to jot last minute notes.
I am not advocating a messy planner like I have right at this moment. But, I am suggesting that you forgive yourself and accept your planner, however messy or disordered or crazy it happens to be, because it is a living, ever-changing tool, and that's okay.
Now, time to complete these Sunday tasks and get my life ready for Monday.
I use a pretty small planner (a little bigger than 4 x 6) with moderately sized rings (about an inch). So, despite everything I pack in my planner, there is little room to waste.
I basically have two rules for what I carry: 1) if I use it more than once a month, I carry it and 2) unless it takes up too much space.
The only supplies that I have, other than a pen and a highlighter, fit in a small zipper pouch.
I keep a few paperclips, some small magnetic page markers, and a reader arrow bookmark. Honestly, I rarely use these things in my planner. Instead, I use them when I am substitute teaching or processing receipts, to mark the lesson plan or divide up receipts into categories.
I have weekly chore stickers, though I am about to get rid of those in favor of weekly, custom-made post-it notes (which are easier to move around).
I have post-it tabs, perfect for labeling projects or notes.
There are also sticky notes. I use these occasionally in my planner.
Finally, I have stamps.
In the very back, serving as a decoration, a spiritual uplift, and an as needed bookmark, a custom bookmark made by my award-winning quilter friend.
That's all I bring with me. I have lots of other stuff at home, but it would be silly to carry it all around.
I didn't type that to make you feel better about your messes. I typed that because it is true. It is so messy, in fact, that I lost an entire banana in it this morning.
An ENTIRE banana.
The guilty party, pictured in his or her complete shame...
You thought I would admit to guilt, right? No way! That banana was the criminal!
You'll notice that I insisted on search and rescue for the banana. Now, I am not some kind of crazy banana fan. But I am a fan of not vomiting, and a rotten banana plus the confines of a car...well, you see why I dug in and cleaned the front seat area of the car.
I didn't clean the entire car, though. Once I found the banana (and my prescription glasses, two hair bands, an umbrella, and my Garth Brooks CDs) and threw out two bags of trash, I vacuumed the front of the car and wiped down surfaces. The whole process took about a half hour. I still need to do the back seats, the trunk, and the outside of the car. (Fat chance of that happening, unless a kid drops an apple.)
Still, there is an organizing/cleaning lesson to be learned here. Finish the task so that the evidence of the task is all put away.
I finished the task of cleaning the front of the car. How? Well, I brought the vacuum cleaner back into the house, put it where it belongs, and wrapped up the cord and hose. I put the dirty rags in the hamper. I refilled the spray bottle with vinegar, water, and soap. I tossed the trash, relined the car trash can, and refilled the supply of trash bags in the car. I put the banana aside for lunch tomorrow.
If you start a task, finish it, even if that means doing less overall than you wanted to originally. You'll never regret putting away the dirty rags. If you just try to clean the whole car, or leave out the stuff so you can "do it later," you'll probably regret it.
I've had some amazing bosses. So when I say that I have had some terrible bosses, please realize that the majority of my professional life has been filled with supportive and inspirational leaders. Now, to the juicy part...
One boss, who made me very uncomfortable (imagine, if you will, calling when he KNEW I would be having a mammogram because he figured I was "free to chat about a client" or sitting too close in his truck on a long drive to a deposition), later got arrested for solicitation of a prostitute. Another got fired and had a mental breakdown, complete with hospitalization, a few months after I quit (in excellent standing, I might add). The f-word was a normal part of her screaming rants at support staff. A third also got fired, after lying about everyone else in the office for two years and giving contracts to men that she would later date. Classy folks, these bosses of mine.
But even from these horrible people, I learned stuff. I practiced being a cut-throat attorney, when necessary. I got prepared to deal with craziness. I learned to document everything (in the case of the lying boss), work on relationships with the sane people who were Mrs. F-bomb's victims (most people, truly, are sane and likable), and answer interview questions with class. (Yes, an interviewer once saw the name of the accused felon/former boss on my resume - before I knew about his arrest - and asked what it was like to work with him, giving his current criminal charges. Yikes.)
The most valuable lesson, though, was an organizing one. The accused felon had an amazing system for storing on-line files. The other two bosses did not, and they lost stuff in the dark world of Microsoft Word all the time.
So, here's a peek at my refined and improved approach to organizing my on-line files (mostly Word and Excel documents).
*Use folders, much like you do in your real life files.
The bonus with on-line filing is that the computer makes an alphabetized index for you.
*Within each folder, use subfolders.
In the above example, I divide up the folder for my kids school into the roles that I play there. I am chairperson of the cafeteria volunteers, a room mom, and a substitute teacher. (I actually have other roles, but they have not created on-line documents. For example, notes from the PTA are in my planner.) I also sometimes buy lunch or pay tuition on-line, and I simply "print" receipts to a PDF and store it in receipts.
In the next example (above), I divide work into human resources documents, research projects (later subdivided by name of the project), and templates (for internal memos, letters, and any reports that are routine). *Name actual documents in a consistent format, starting with sender/receiver.
If I am the sender or receiver of a filed document, I use the other person's name, the date, and the name of the document.
In this example, I filed an offer of employment. The HR person sent it to me, so her last name goes first, followed by the date, and then the title or descriptor of the document.
In my jobs folder, I list cover letters and resumes by the name of the receiver of the document (by the more broad name of the entity, like 4-H), date, and the description of the document.
I don't know why I used the word master for the template, as I usually use template. I'll probably fix that.
For something like a job search, you might want to use subfolders. For example, I am qualified to teach, I am an attorney, and I could also do other administrative jobs. It would make sense, if I were in the middle of a massive job search, to use three separate subfolders for those items, since the resumes and cover letters would be different for each category.
*Where there is no relevant sender/receiver (other than yourself), name actual documents in a consistent format, starting with type of document.
For example, in my law folder, I note the recipient of one document, the FedEasternDis (Federal Eastern District Court in my state), but for bar dues, simply paid on-line instead of "to" someone, I write bar dues. I did the same thing with the trust account confirmation.
Note there is a subfolder in the above image (with the name of the file redacted). I mentored a fellow attorney, so anything I send to her gets copied into the subfolder. (I say mentored, because she is a kick butt attorney and no longer is a mentee. She is a dear friend, instead.)
TIP: Put a recurring task in your planner to back up your files every three months, or more often if you are working on something big or very active.
Now, go and organize your computer files. And if you have a scanner, scan in EVERYTHING and use this system to free yourself from filing ever again. (I do not have a scanner that is quick enough.)
After many requests at the Giftie Etcetera Facebook group, I went ahead and made a video about A Daily Plan. It's nothing new, but listening to it (CLICK HERE) will give you a chance to think about all the things that I have suggested lately about do a daily page and show you exactly how I use my daily page.
