Before I had kids, I thought I'd never want a night away from them, unless it was with just my husband.
Well, I still want a night with just my husband.
But a night with other moms is an experience you can't pay for. And when the moms have kids of similiar ages and are two of your favorite friends, it recharges you like nothing else.
Honestly, the food at the Japanese place we went to was just okay. But the company was wonderful. I desperately needed a break and now I feel recharged. I missed my kids - just enough to really appreciate them. :)
Etcetera.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Feels Like Law School
I'm sitting in a coffee shop, with a legal pad doubling as a mouse pad. I've got a hot medium roast with two creams and five Splendas. My glasses are on, but since I only need them for distances, they are propped atop my forehead, holding my hair out of my eyes. I have a stack of work beside me and the plan is to get through it all.
It's almost dead week at most colleges, so people all around me are working. One 25ish lady has little forms spread out around her. I overheard enough of a conversation to assume she is almost done student-teaching and is finishing a project related to that. Another lady, closer to thirty, is writing a paper. It looks, well, PAINFUL. Glad I'm not her. The other person is just straight up studying for a test. Reading notes, highlighting, and writing mneumonics down every now and then.
Other people in the coffee shop include a 30-40ish male reading the paper, wearing jeans and a t-shirt bought in Tahiti. He doesn't look rich, so I wonder how he finds time to sit around and read the paper.
A businessman is one the phone, sipping coffee, talking to his office, and clearly waiting to meet with someone.
Other people pop in every three or four minutes, grab coffee, and run back to the nearby offices.
I feel like it was when I used to study in law school, except that Ander and Loki are at my mom's, I can't skip lunch because I'm a nursing mom (though I'll settle for a bagel with cream cheese and honey), and I have to leave on time to pick up the kids.
I wonder if these other people have kids. And, if so, what are their kids up to right now.
Etcetera.
It's almost dead week at most colleges, so people all around me are working. One 25ish lady has little forms spread out around her. I overheard enough of a conversation to assume she is almost done student-teaching and is finishing a project related to that. Another lady, closer to thirty, is writing a paper. It looks, well, PAINFUL. Glad I'm not her. The other person is just straight up studying for a test. Reading notes, highlighting, and writing mneumonics down every now and then.
Other people in the coffee shop include a 30-40ish male reading the paper, wearing jeans and a t-shirt bought in Tahiti. He doesn't look rich, so I wonder how he finds time to sit around and read the paper.
A businessman is one the phone, sipping coffee, talking to his office, and clearly waiting to meet with someone.
Other people pop in every three or four minutes, grab coffee, and run back to the nearby offices.
I feel like it was when I used to study in law school, except that Ander and Loki are at my mom's, I can't skip lunch because I'm a nursing mom (though I'll settle for a bagel with cream cheese and honey), and I have to leave on time to pick up the kids.
I wonder if these other people have kids. And, if so, what are their kids up to right now.
Etcetera.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
I Can Only Do So Much
I have a ton of work to do, after taking a whole week and a day(and now yesterday afternoon)off to take care of Loki. But I feel like I have the flu. I don't have fever, so no swine flu here, but my poor baby if he felt this way last week. Alan's working crazy and unpredictable overtime, meaning I am stuck trying to get the basics done.
I never, or rarely, hear anyone else complaining about being this far behind. Hello? Aren't the rest of you overwhelmed, too?
More coffee.
Etcetera.
I never, or rarely, hear anyone else complaining about being this far behind. Hello? Aren't the rest of you overwhelmed, too?
More coffee.
Etcetera.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Interesting Breastfeeding/Family Leave Discussion
While sitting home with Loki a couple of days ago, I happened to turn on the public broadcasting network. There was a fascinating discussion of breastfeeding and it's affect on income. Apparently, a study recently came out that said, over a woman's lifetime, she makes less if she breastfeeds. As a working and nursing mom, I'm not shocked.
Sure, maybe in the end I'll spend less on medical bills (doesn't feel like it this week, though, with our doctor and hospital visits :/) and less sick time off. But, right now, breastfeeding cuts into my pay, probably more than formula would cost. I took longer off of work to nurse Loki. I go in later, take a longer lunch, and leave earlier, all to nurse my baby.
I'm okay with all of that. My choice to breastfeed was not based on money, but what was best for my family. I do think some moms HAVE to work and end up using formula because of it, but I could afford a little bit of a flexible schedule, at lower pay, to breastfeed, so that wasn't a real factor for my family. (I'm not okay with my infections, overproduction, lack of breaks, lack of sleep...but that's a different story. :)-)
Back to the discussion, though. There were liberal women there discussing how paid family leave would be fair, so moms could breastfeed. They pointed out that giving mandatory breaks for pumping and supplying private areas would go a long way to helping moms breastfeed. I agree.
And then the more conservative women spoke up. And they talked about how a family works together to pay the bills. Sometimes, that means mom takes a year off and a cut in pay (over time) to nurse each baby. I agree.
I found myself wanting paid leaves for moms. (As a small business owner, this would be tough for me to provide. But if all small business owners had to do it, prices would go up to cover it, and it's something I could budget for.) But I also find myself thinking that families do need to rearrange things, not necessarily to breastfeed, but to give the baby extra attention in the first year. Maybe part of that is breastfeeding. Maybe it's not. But babies take a lot of work in year one and families need to be available for it.
I rarely agree with a conservative viewpoint. And, clearly, I was MORE in agreement with the liberal speakers. But I understood the conservative viewpoint, too, which was sort of disconcerting for me.
Etcetera.
Sure, maybe in the end I'll spend less on medical bills (doesn't feel like it this week, though, with our doctor and hospital visits :/) and less sick time off. But, right now, breastfeeding cuts into my pay, probably more than formula would cost. I took longer off of work to nurse Loki. I go in later, take a longer lunch, and leave earlier, all to nurse my baby.
I'm okay with all of that. My choice to breastfeed was not based on money, but what was best for my family. I do think some moms HAVE to work and end up using formula because of it, but I could afford a little bit of a flexible schedule, at lower pay, to breastfeed, so that wasn't a real factor for my family. (I'm not okay with my infections, overproduction, lack of breaks, lack of sleep...but that's a different story. :)-)
Back to the discussion, though. There were liberal women there discussing how paid family leave would be fair, so moms could breastfeed. They pointed out that giving mandatory breaks for pumping and supplying private areas would go a long way to helping moms breastfeed. I agree.
And then the more conservative women spoke up. And they talked about how a family works together to pay the bills. Sometimes, that means mom takes a year off and a cut in pay (over time) to nurse each baby. I agree.
I found myself wanting paid leaves for moms. (As a small business owner, this would be tough for me to provide. But if all small business owners had to do it, prices would go up to cover it, and it's something I could budget for.) But I also find myself thinking that families do need to rearrange things, not necessarily to breastfeed, but to give the baby extra attention in the first year. Maybe part of that is breastfeeding. Maybe it's not. But babies take a lot of work in year one and families need to be available for it.
I rarely agree with a conservative viewpoint. And, clearly, I was MORE in agreement with the liberal speakers. But I understood the conservative viewpoint, too, which was sort of disconcerting for me.
Etcetera.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Chore Chart
The chore chart we made for Ander is working great. It has 8 or 9 things on it each day. They are sort of divided into morning (brush teeth, brush hair, get dressed without a fight), daytime/afternoon (help with household chore on Sat & Sun, clean room on Sun, Wed, & Fri, pick up toys left in the living room on days when he doesn't clean room), goals (potty dry all day and poopy in the potty), and nighttime (brush teeth and floss). Although someday it will have consequences attached to it, right now it's just a motivational tool. He loves putting checks when he does the stuff on the chart. If we are out of the house, obviously he won't get all the checks. But so far, he is doing great getting some every single day, like brushing his teeth. On an average day, he gets 5 or 6 checks.
I'd like to incorporate a bigger reward. We are thinking about giving him "book bucks" for each check. Right now, I'm thinking he gets a nickel credit for each check mark. At 5 check marks a day, that's about a quarter a day or a dollar and a half a week. In three weeks, he could pick out an inexpensive book (and, more importantly, make a trip to the bookstore to play with the trains ). More often, and we won't have time to take him to the bookstore. Plus, it wouldn't be as big a treat. But I'm nervous that it's not often enough. He gets excited by the checks, though, and I figure he will probably be excited by the "book bucks," so the trip is just extra, right? Also, I don't want to pay him for chores (because they are just expected), so this way, he gets books instead. Once he gets an allowance, it will be tied to chores, as in if you don't do them, you don't go anywhere and don't get your allowance until they are done, but not a dollar per chore or anything like that. So, in a way, I suspect I might be setting a bad precedent. That said, i really am trying to motivate him and I think books are a great reward and something we like to get once a month or so anyway.
I probably ought to do a chore chart for me and Alan. That would motivate him! But what happens if we don't get our chores done?
Etcetera.
I'd like to incorporate a bigger reward. We are thinking about giving him "book bucks" for each check. Right now, I'm thinking he gets a nickel credit for each check mark. At 5 check marks a day, that's about a quarter a day or a dollar and a half a week. In three weeks, he could pick out an inexpensive book (and, more importantly, make a trip to the bookstore to play with the trains ). More often, and we won't have time to take him to the bookstore. Plus, it wouldn't be as big a treat. But I'm nervous that it's not often enough. He gets excited by the checks, though, and I figure he will probably be excited by the "book bucks," so the trip is just extra, right? Also, I don't want to pay him for chores (because they are just expected), so this way, he gets books instead. Once he gets an allowance, it will be tied to chores, as in if you don't do them, you don't go anywhere and don't get your allowance until they are done, but not a dollar per chore or anything like that. So, in a way, I suspect I might be setting a bad precedent. That said, i really am trying to motivate him and I think books are a great reward and something we like to get once a month or so anyway.
I probably ought to do a chore chart for me and Alan. That would motivate him! But what happens if we don't get our chores done?
Etcetera.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Little Things
It seems like the little things (and the big things, like hospital stays, when you really think about it) are always slowing me down.
Take this morning as an example.
I slept in until 8:30ish (except for waking twice to nurse the baby). Sounds lovely, right? Then I reflect on the fact that I couldn't sleep last night, despite exhaustion, because Loki was coughing and fussy and Alan was so tired and I was nervous and watching Loki until almost 1 a.m., despite not sleeping all of Monday and Tuesday night because of the hospital and all of Wednesday and Thursday night because of the sick baby.
Ander joined us in bed and cuddled. Then we woke for the day. I got dressed and ready to leave to work at a coffee shop. But Alan wants to that a bath and cut his hair before I go. If that happens, I won't have just nursed Loki (which means having to pump). The boys will be ready for a nap when Alan gets home. And I won't get home early enough to make a chili. But Alan really needs a haircut. It sucks all around.
I leave for said coffee shop. I stop to get desperately needed gas. The pumps say pay inside. I go toward inside. The door stops me. It's locked. The gas station is out of power (despite lights being on) and is closed. Of course, it's on the wrong side of the interstate.
Despite leaving the house at 9 a.m., I arrive at the coffee shop (the closest one to my house with tables to work at is at Perkins and Bluebonnet...many, many minutes away) at 10 a.m. Blah!
It's traffic jams and spilled drinks and potty incidents and closed gas stations and a thousand other little, unpredictable things that slow me down.
It suckith mightily.
Etcetera.
Take this morning as an example.
I slept in until 8:30ish (except for waking twice to nurse the baby). Sounds lovely, right? Then I reflect on the fact that I couldn't sleep last night, despite exhaustion, because Loki was coughing and fussy and Alan was so tired and I was nervous and watching Loki until almost 1 a.m., despite not sleeping all of Monday and Tuesday night because of the hospital and all of Wednesday and Thursday night because of the sick baby.
Ander joined us in bed and cuddled. Then we woke for the day. I got dressed and ready to leave to work at a coffee shop. But Alan wants to that a bath and cut his hair before I go. If that happens, I won't have just nursed Loki (which means having to pump). The boys will be ready for a nap when Alan gets home. And I won't get home early enough to make a chili. But Alan really needs a haircut. It sucks all around.
I leave for said coffee shop. I stop to get desperately needed gas. The pumps say pay inside. I go toward inside. The door stops me. It's locked. The gas station is out of power (despite lights being on) and is closed. Of course, it's on the wrong side of the interstate.
Despite leaving the house at 9 a.m., I arrive at the coffee shop (the closest one to my house with tables to work at is at Perkins and Bluebonnet...many, many minutes away) at 10 a.m. Blah!
It's traffic jams and spilled drinks and potty incidents and closed gas stations and a thousand other little, unpredictable things that slow me down.
It suckith mightily.
Etcetera.